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Shadow work, where are you sabotaging yourself?
As we are currently making the descent into the underworld of your psyche in the articles I am being prompted to write, we will descend even deeper in this one as we did in our previous article on our possible ‘flaws’ in character. This time we are going to face our own hypocrisy a little deeper, by looking at all the ways we repel our Twin Flame without even realizing it.
Hypocrisy is a strong word with a very emotional charge to it for most people, so why am I using it in this context? Because on some level we are all hypocrites from time to time. Let’s first look at the definition of hypocrisy. According to the Cambridge dictionary It means a situation in which someone pretends to believe something that they do not really believe, or that is the opposite of what they do or say at another time.
You can have intentional hypocrisy, but a far more prevalent form of hypocrisy is a subconscious/unconscious one. If you have read my blogs over a period of time, you will have noticed that I am always pointing to the spot where your conscious and subconscious beliefs contradict each other.
You think you believe this or that on a conscious level, but if we have a subconscious or unconscious belief that contradicts the conscious belief – the latter will always be overruled. Because our behavior and action stem from our beliefs, the unconscious and subconscious beliefs will hijack our reactions and actions that often are in direct conflict with what we believe to be true about ourselves on a conscious level.
So now that I have gotten your attention with the H word and you now can see why this word is so apt to describe this inner conflict between the conscious, the subconscious and even the unconscious let’s talk about shadow work.
Because often I feel when Twin Flame teachers and healers talk about the importance of healing, that message is not really understood. Some think it’s just a way to generate sales off of a bereaved group of people who are in enough pain to be willing to pay anything to be freed. I can assure you that’s not the reason we hammer on healing, we hammer on healing because it is literally the ONLY way out of the excruciating pain that we as healers and teachers have first needed to heal within ourselves.
So when we hammer on healing, we do it because that is how we have survived the pain of our own journeys. Many times I have reminded you of how the pain that gets triggered on this journey was lingering inside of you all along and not brought on by the Twin Flame or someone else outside of you, but often you may have not been able to see how that was true because ‘you were fine’ until you met your twin or so it seemed….
The reason the wounding has not been so obvious to you, is because it is hidden outside of your conscious awareness in both the subconscious and unconscious part of your mind and programming, depending on how deeply lodged the wounding is. To make it even more complex about 75% of this wounding is not even from this lifetime, but something your soul decided to bring into this embodiment from previous lifetimes – in order to find resolution of the wounding or repressed trauma this time around.
Probably the most confusing aspect about healing emotionally, mentally and vibrationally is that it’s not anywhere close to physical healing in which you go to the doctor and you either need to swallow something or put something on it in order to facilitate the healing process.
When healing vibrationally, because that’s what everything comes down to anyway (thoughts and emotions are just other forms of energy), all that healing really is – is a shift in perception.
It’s that shift in perception that shifts the energy and that shift in energy is what we call healing.
Doing shadow work is about finding these places of inner conflict (hypocrisy) within and literally shifting your perspective over and over again until there is no more inner conflict left to face. This may seem like an insurmountable task, however from personal experience I can tell you that it can be done and when we have overcome our conflict within, we reach what is called inner union.
Inner union is of course a precursor to outer union, as everything outside of us is but a reflection of our own inner state of being.
To reach this inner state of being you need to take your focus off of what everybody else outside of you is doing and only focus on yourself, your thoughts and your actions. Seeing the speck of sawdust in the other’s eye, only serves to keep you from seeing the beam in your own eyes.
In the rest of this article and part II I will focus on the myriad of ways we avoid taking ownership of what is going on inside of us and the strategies we use to avoid looking within.
The strategies we use to avoid going within…
I have to admit that the previous article in this shadow work series did not do well in regards to click-through rates from the newsletter and social media platforms. The people who did read it were very enthusiastic, some even saying that it was one of the best articles they had ever read about the Twin Flame journey.
However many people simply didn’t read the article because they don’t want to look at themselves, they don’t want to admit their possible flaws, they want this out of this world love – but they aren’t willing to put in the work needed to align to it.
I actually had not realized that Spirit was asking me to focus on teaching people about doing their shadow work till the above mentioned article started causing some flack by people who just didn’t understand what I was talking about. Then slowly the ugly started rising up out of the collective and as I shared some of those negative reactions, I was given the basis for writing this article from the way some of my followers chose to react.
Now you may wonder but how does – how someone reacts to you Sabriyé, relate to the Twin Flame journey? Ill tell you how, because despite our conscious attempts to maybe suck up to certain people and not give other people the time of day – we are pretty constant in how we show up in our lives. In fact how we do anything, is pretty much how we do everything in our lives and especially those things that happen OUTSIDE of our conscious awareness.
So how these people show up with me, is exactly how they show up in every other area of their life – including their Twin Flame connection, because this is how they are hard-wired. The healing I am talking about helps you rewire yourself so that you don’t react from a subconscious place of hurt or go unconsciously on auto-pilot any more.
The goal of this article is to help you identify the ways you may inadvertently be engaging in any of these behaviors and to give you insight on how this may also impact your relationship with your twin energetically and ultimately in the 3D reality.
#1 Emotionally vomiting on the other
It all started with a newsletter reader emotionally vomiting on me because the title of my previous article had set her off. Everyone can easily unsubscribe from the Gangsta Goddesses newsletter and the only way to get on it, is to sign up for it. ‘
For example when you sign up to download the free Inner Union Soul Alchemy manuscript, you agree to receiving the weekly-ish newsletter. This means you receive the newsletter by choice and you can easily unsubscribe, whenever you please.
This reader however was so triggered that she wrote me ‘Stop f*cking emailing me b*tch. F*ck yourvflaws’ I unsubscribed her, but I also screenshotted the email and made her last name unreadable to protect her privacy. I then shared the email on Facebook because it was a perfect teaching moment, to acknowledge that the article may indeed be triggering but that this was exactly why we do need to look within, in order to avoid emotionally vomiting on others when we get triggered.
Everything we see outside of us is a reflection of what we believe and hold to be true inside of us, our outer reality is a mirror reflection of our inner reality. When standing in front of a mirror we understand that in order to change anything in the image being reflected to us in the mirror we need to change that on ourselves – we can’t ever fix anything in the mirror. The reflection will never show us something that does not already exist outside the mirror first. The same applies to life, if you don’t like what you see mirrored back to you in your physical reality – the only way to change it is to change your own thoughts and beliefs.
When we emotionally vomit on others we are basically getting mad at the reflection in the mirror, which doesn’t actually exist – it is not a separate entity that we can change or alter. When we become angry with the reflection in the mirror, we refuse to own our own pain and hold the other responsible for what we feel, not understanding that the other is only reflecting back to us our own fears and false beliefs – which created the inner pain in the first place.
Emotional vomiting often goes hand in hand with mental, emotional and physical abuse because the emotional vomitter feels victimized and abused by the person they leash out to. The emotional vomit is then experienced as verbal abuse by the other, which quickly becomes a vicious cycle with both taking turns in feeling victimized and victimizing each other.
Emotionally vomiting on your (potential) partner creates an emotionally unsafe environment, which causes shutdowns in the other, stonewalling and taking distance. There is no better way to f*ck up intimacy, than to unleash your unhealed wounds on your partner – yet this is what most 3D romantic love relationships are made of.
A war zone in which ‘the other’ is seen as the cause of your pain, instead of the reflection in the mirror, showing you your own fears and false beliefs.
#2 Morally judging the other
As soon as I posted the screenshot and accompanying teaching moment, the very first moral knights entered the scene to tell me how it was not ‘classy’ to post this kind of stuff. How it was unprofessional and said more about me that I was sharing it, than the person sending it to me.
Everything I teach is experienced based. Every example I share is always from a real life experience, that is my M.O. and that is also how Spirit uses my life and my Twin Flame journey to serve the greater collective. I share everything you read here, from my day to day experiences and I either ask permission to share from the person involved or share a story outline but keep the identity of the person in question private. I don’t openly crucify people on my blog, because it’s not my style but above all it has no added value.
Now there seems to be a distinction being made here when it comes to sharing real life experiences, it’s okay to share the positive but there is still a big taboo on what is seen as airing your dirty linen in public. It’s not classy, it’s unprofessional, it shows a lack of integrity, etc. etc. which are basically all judgments. At the same time there is also a misguided (law of attraction) fear of attracting more ‘bad’ which is another judgment by focusing on something negative.
Let’s leave the whole discussion who is right here or wrong, because that is even more judgment again. Instead let’s focus on how judging others is the epitome of hypocrisy because when we do fall into the trap of being judgmental we are making a big fuss about the spec of sawdust in the other’s eye, instead of noticing the beam in our own eyes. In other words, finding fault and things to judge in others keeps us from looking within. But because how we do anything, is how we do everything being judgmental will also make us harsh and judgmental towards ourselves which keeps us in inner conflict and out of inner union.
Plus no one, wants to be around someone who judges them constantly especially not a male romantic partner. It creates shut downs, feeling unsafe and shutting off emotionally. Men are much more vulnerable emotionally than most women realize and a man will not open his heart to a woman with a tongue as sharp as a knife.
Morally judging others also comes from a feeling of supremacy and when you judge others or your partner, you are placing yourself above them. This does not only kill intimacy, it kills your sex life because unless your partner is into BDSM they want to feel your equal, instead of beneath you.
Especially when you make a man feel like a little boy, it never works in your favor in bed.
The other thing that you have to understand about judging others or yourself is that it comes from thinking in opposites: good vs bad, wrong vs right, yes vs no, black vs white (not being able to see the grey), etc. It is born from dualistic (old 3D paradigm) thinking.
I have a friend that swears by EFT (tapping), tapping doesn’t work for me and so I say tapping doesn’t work for me because that is true for me. It doesn’t mean tapping doesn’t work because it works for millions of other people including my friend. Being able to see things from multiple perspectives, helps a lot in avoiding the trap of believing that your truth is THE TRUTH – which is what judging comes down to believing your truth is the HIGHEST TRUTH.
#3 Jumping to (wrong) conclusions
Talk about the way you do anything is the way you do everything, people who jump to conclusions don’t educate themselves first. So they base their opinion on what they think is being said, without really knowing what was said.
An example that I encounter often is people on Facebook reacting to my articles without reading them. I can always tell if they have read the article or not, because they react completely out of context based on what they assume my article is about. My titles are usually aimed at getting people to read the article and not representative of what the message of the article conveys.
These people are a bit lazy in my opinion (which yes that is a judgment) because they don’t listen, they don’t read, they haven’t actually watched the movie, they haven’t followed the story in the news, they haven’t taken the trouble to investigate both sides of the story and usually they have like no clue what is really going on and therefor misread people, situations, etc,
Which could have all been avoided if you would have taken the time to listen. If you would have not assumed the worst (when twin doesn’t text back, that you fear he is with someone else for example). If you would have educated yourself first, etc, etc.
This way of being creates a lot of unnecessary drama in your life, because most of the time you have misread the situation in your hurry to jump to conclusions causing a lot of unnecessary heightened emotions and fuss over nothing and basically you just end up looking stupid.
Been there, done that right?
We all have and therefore it is important to catch yourself, let me share some of my most embarrassing moments.
Something I have caught myself doing is when with multiple people I have answered a personal question that was directed at someone else based on what I know about them, and of course my answer is always wrong! hahahaha. Trust me, I know what looking stupid feels like – which I could have avoided if I would have just kept my mouth shut. When I caught myself doing this I asked myself, why are you even answering other peoples personal questions that are not directed at you? I have no idea (you don’t always need to know the WHY), but I made a decision then and there to stop doing it because it made no sense.
I mean it literally makes no sense to answer a personal question directed at someone else, who is also in the room with me. It’s none of my business and yet I caught myself piping up multiple times…. (like seriously girl, keep your mouth shut – mind your own business!)
But that’s the thing a lot of our subconscious and unconscious behavior makes no f*cking sense at all and don’t add to our lives. This one only makes me look stupid and like a busybody, but some of our other behavior that happens outside of our conscious awareness creates a lot of stress, drama and worse and that is why it is so important to do the shadow work because again we can’t change the reflection in the mirror, except by changing the inner fears and false beliefs that the mirror is showing a reflection of.
Divine feminines are masters at jumping to the wrong conclusion on the Twin Flame journey and about their Twin Flame especially when they still look at the connection from a 3D perspective. Reading all kinds of meanings into their twins actions or lack of actions, making them mean things that they don’t actually have to mean. A lot of you are your own worst enemies through your thoughts and what you make things mean, without really knowing if that is what the other person truly feels about you.
Even if the twin has actually said it to you, that doesn’t mean it’s true. My twin told me in 2016 that he didn’t want a life with me and that he didn’t love me the way I thought he did. Fast forward to begin 2017 shortly after the arranged marriage he forced himself into, he told me that he would be on the plane the very next day to come to me, if he would ever leave the marriage he just got himself into.
The first message was that he didn’t see a future for us together and only a year later, he told me that I am the future he wants even when he chose differently for now. Imagine what I would have done to myself, if I had made up all these stories in my head about what his actions said about his true feelings for me. About how his actions showed that he doesn’t love me, worrying that he may love the girl he married more than me, blah blah. This is what a lot of Divine Feminines do to themselves, they terrorize themselves in their heads with conclusions they have jumped to, that may or may not be true. That’s insane, but above all it’s like rubbing salt in your wounds, very painful and unnecessary.
I am going to cut off this article here and give you a week to integrate the teachings, so that you can really descend into the underworld of your psyche and face your inner dragons and demons. If you need help in accessing these subconscious and past life memories, book an Akashic Record Clearing with me and I’ll help you find your deep subconscious fears and false beliefs that are keeping you stuck in realities you actually don’t want to be living.
I pray that teaching you about shadow work serves you on your journey.
If you want more teachings such as these, join the Twin Flame Tribe and get instant access to my online program Inner Union Soul Alchemy Program, in which you learn so much more than I can teach you through my weekly articles.
Sending you love and light on your Ascension path and Divine partnership journey, you are forever protected and guided. All is well.
If this article resonates with you please share it abundantly. Thank you.
Lots of love,