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Reaching your goals doesn’t lead to lasting happiness
We have this illusion that once we have gotten that which we have so longed for, we will be happy and stay happy. Be it money, a slim body, the perfect job, the wonderful life partner, recovering our good health….
Doing the Gangsta Goddesses Soul Journeys I have been rudely awakened from this illusion. What really opened my eyes, was when one of my branding agency clients who I have known for years took a Soul Journey with me. When we met she was married but due to my mindset and online marketing course she was following, she realized that she could not continue in that relationship anymore and ended it. She was a single mom for a while, started dating a bit again and soon ran into the perfect guy for her.
She was sobbing on the phone because even though she had no financial worries anymore, had a great guy, great relationship, fun trips, he was amazing with her kids and they even just bought a house together – she was deeply unhappy. She was unhappy because she couldn’t relax and allow herself to enjoy what she had created for herself. She wanted to be financially independent and live her life purpose, which is her divine right except that she was being so hard on herself that she felt paralyzed by the pressure she was putting on herself.
Being happy is your own responsibility
What triggered me in her story was that she had materialized something that I deeply desire, a life partnership. She knew how lucky she was, yet still could not allow herself to just fully enjoy it and revel in it. Shocked by this I thought to myself what would happen to me and my twin, if my deepest wish came true. Say he would free himself of his cultural entanglement, face his family fearlessly, leave everything behind to build a life together and I would still be unhappy? What damage would I do to him, if he gave up everything for us to be together and I would not be able to fully enjoy it and revel in it? Knowing that to a man the happiness of his partner is what matters the most to him. Together with his capacity to provide (also financially) for his loved ones, the capacity to make his woman happy defines his success at being a man to himself.
But the thing is no outside thing or person can make you happy, they can contribute to your happiness but the rest is an inner decision. That is what happened to me, this particular Soul Journey was so confronting to myself that it made me decide not to put off being happy until I had everything I wanted, but to allow myself to be happy NOW and enjoy what I have in this MOMENT.
Because lets be honest, we always want more right? There is always a new goal we are working towards. When you have reached the 5 figures, then you want to reach the 6 figures. When you have met this amazing person, then you want the marriage, once you have the marriage, before you know it you want a baby together. First you want a job just to earn money, then you want a job that challenges you or satisfies you and eventually you want work that you can fully express yourself in. It’s insane to push away happiness every time because you aren’t yet where you want to be or you don’t yet have what you want to have RIGHT NOW.
Happiness is a choice, you can choose to be happy in THIS VERY MOMENT and enjoy what you DO HAVE.
Nothing outside yourself will ever make you happy, not even 100 grand or more in the bank until…
This morning a friend texted me and we went for a walk in the forest with cappuccino’s to go. He asked about the status of my relationship with my twin. There was nothing to tell, so I told him about the cute guy I had just smiled at on my way to meet him and the latest news about my career shift.
As we were walking and talking and he was updating me about his life, we automatically came to the subject of happiness. This guy has good health, a great relationship with his parents, a sweet wife, two amazing kids. He owns his own house, has a job (out of security) owns a motorcycle, a car, goes on vacation every year and to top it off he has €100.000 in the bank.
Still because he is not fully living the life of his dreams which in his case is out of fear to leave a “secure” but boring job and to opt for embracing the unknown, he rated his happiness at 60%. This guy has everything most people want in life, both material and immaterial and still he only feels partially happy with his life.
So if you are still thinking that, whatever eludes you now will bring you perfect happiness once you have it – wake up! It ain’t gonna happen.
You need to decide to be HAPPY NOW and that will magnetize your perfect fit on every level into your life. Decide to revel in and enjoy what you have now and whatever you still want will be there quicker, than it would materialize itself if you keep focusing on the discomfort you are feeling because this one element is lacking from your life.
You need to shift your perspective from the absence of what you don’t have yet, to what you DO HAVE now and allow yourself to fully enjoy it. Revel in it! This sends off a strong signal to the Universe that you are ready to have more of this awesome stuff that matches what you DO WANT and it will stop sending you more of what you don’t want because now you are no longer aligned to that shit.
If you need some gratitude inspiration read ‘Gratitude, is my new attitude.’
Happiness is literally allowing yourself to ENJOY where you are RIGHT NOW and to TRUST that what you still want is on it’s way.
That’s at least the mindset part.
Unless its the divine selection for you, it’s not going to make you happy anyway
You may want something badly, but if it’s not the divine selection for you it will only make you suffer.
Just go back to the example of my forest walk friend, he took a job he doesn’t much care for out of fear that he doesn’t have what it takes to build up a business of his own. With €100.000 in the bank he has more than enough money to go do his thing for a year and if needed supplement his living expenses from his savings. He has everything you could ever wish for as a starting point to setup your own business, he even had two years of unemployment pay – a time period that he spent doing nothing really. He wants to start his own business, but his fear is keeping him from living the life he only allows himself to dream of.
This fear can also cause a woman to hold onto a life partner that does not treat her well or that she shares no intimacy with because she is afraid of being alone or not being able to find anyone better. Saying yes to anything, that is not exactly what you REALLY want because it’s close enough and you are afraid if you don’t grab hold of this, you won’t ever have it – will NEVER SATISFY you.
The same goes for buying or renting a house, if it doesn’t match with what you really want on every level, but you go ahead for the wrong reasons regardless if it’s fear or for example ego status that motivates you – you will not be happy living there.
What you need to do is to develop the patience and trust that for every desire you have there is a divine selection that is meant for you. The Universe (God) knows better than yourself, what will really make you happy. When you wait for the manifestation of the divine selection for you, you will not only get exactly what you had been hoping for (although it might look different), it will also truly satisfy you.
This asks you to focus on the essence of what you want and not to be hung up about how or through whom it will come into your life. You might think John will be the perfect husband for you and that could be, but it could be that John is not your divine selection and that the Universe has someone far better suited in mind for you. This same principle applies for everything you want in life, start asking for your divine selection and then wait till it manifests itself and then say yes to it for all the RIGHT REASONS and allow it into your life.
Receiving the divine selection means choosing for love above fear each and every time and being watchful for what really sets your heart on fire, this will lead you to the manifestation of your heart’s desire in the most perfect way.
Are you living your divine plan?
Actually the Universe doesn’t want that much for us except for us to be happy and fulfill our soul potential and it will stop at nothing to help us succeed in this endeavor. That’s why it will grant us everything we wish for. The Universe always has our back, we can count on that.
The soul is the one with a plan. It wants to learn certain things, have experiences, create, serve. love, live and what not. For each lifetime it has a plan, a timeline, and everything you will need to execute that plan is already there waiting for you to call it into existence. From money, to houses, life partners, teachers, business partners or friends. All soul contracts have already been made and are waiting for you when the divine time is there (not your time).
‘The perfect plan includes health, wealth, love and perfect self-expression. This is the square of life, which brings perfect happiness.’
Florence Scovel Shinn
The game of life and how to play it
The trick is to tap into the divine selection of each part of that plan to have it manifest in your life. Both the man and the woman in my examples were missing the element of perfect self-expression in their lives and felt unhappy as a result.
Perfect happiness comes from a combination of all these factors:
It’s the combination that brings perfect happiness.
As much as the secret to lasting happiness is a combination of:
- CHOOSING to be happy right now
- Holding out for the DIVINE SELECTION and
- Living your DIVINE PLAN
I hope this article will inspire you to create lasting happiness in your life. Which part of the square of life are you still working on? Where have you already received your divine selection? Where are you already living your divine plan? Revel in it and trust that the rest is on it’s way, hold out for the miracles that only your divine selection can bring you.
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Lots of love,
P.s. Is there a big boulder standing between you and your happiness? Something that just needs to be healed and cleared before you are free to move on and revel in what you have in this moment? Book a FREE Blast through your blocks session with me and I will help you see the truth of the situation so that you can release it from your reality and free up the space for what you DO WANT.