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Surrender the most misunderstood concept ever
If you are on the Twin Flame journey, you are very familiar with the term ‘surrender’ because apparently it is a very important part of coming into the physical union that you crave.
Yet, it is the most misunderstood concept ever even among Twin Flame teachers.
Some teachers say that surrender is not such a big deal, because you are in fact surrendering to yourself. You and the Universe are ONE and therefore, you are surrendering to yourself. Although spiritually this statement is true, it doesn’t help the person struggling with surrender much because the issue isn’t about who you are surrendering to, the problem for many lies in surrendering what you want and don’t have.
For some trusting the self and or trusting the Divine can play an issue in their inability to surrender, the origin of this lack of trust almost always lies in past life traumas that need to be brought into the conscious awareness and healed. Book an Akashic Record Clearing session here, if you need help with that. The subconscious trauma has to be released in order to be able to trust again.
This is because only 5% of our life is directed by our conscious decisions, the other 95% is directed by our subconscious programming. If your internal programming is ‘infected’ by a past life trauma memory that says trusting yourself or trusting the Divine is not safe – your conscious efforts will not overwrite the previous programming until you check the ‘code’ and realize that you read it wrong.
Because that’s what past life traumas basically are, times throughout our soul’s journey through eternity that we misinterpreted – the misinterpretation is the trauma, not the event itself. It’s what we make things that happen to us mean, that f*cks us up the most – far more than the actual thing that happened in the first place. That is why past life work is so important, because it can show us what false beliefs we are holding onto that are limiting us in the HERE and NOW.
The real dragon you are facing is fear of loss
The other part of the confusion is does letting go or surrendering mean I don’t want what I want suddenly? Which is code for fear of loss. Anyone asking this question is so attached to what they are holding onto – they can’t even imagine letting go. To them the idea of letting go, equals not wanting that person anymore and they want them desperately so they clench on even tighter.
I feel this aspect is the BIGGEST block for most people on the Twin Flame journey and it can go hand in hand with not trusting yourself or the Divine which is the control aspect of it. The fear that if you don’t MAKE IT HAPPEN – nobody else will. If you let go, if you stop your efforts – it will just all slip away through your fingers and not manifest.
Surrender triggers fear of loss in a myriad of ways and basically being able to surrender means transcending your fear of loss. Because whether it is that you don’t trust the Divine/Self, or that false beliefs around deserving and worth get triggered – you are facing the same dragon breathing it’s fire in your face and that dragon metaphorically represents your own fears based on whatever false belief (‘infected programming’) that if you let go of this person or heart’s desire that you will lose them/it forever.
What makes us keep clinging on to the other and refusing to let go whether you are in a runner/chaser dynamic or in long term separation is the subconscious fear that if we don’t hold on for dear life, it will be lost for good.
This is the biggest problem we face on this journey honestly. You don’t know, what you don’t know and because basically all our wounding that get’s triggered is hidden in the subconscious – we had no idea it was there to begin with.
On the other hand, it is always crystal clear to see the ‘faults’ in others, but our own faulty programming often eludes us, because it is hidden in our own depths of our subconscious mind. I am each and every time stunned to see that everything I have seen so clearly in my twin, turned out to be a struggle in myself as well, of which I had been completely oblivious until it was mirrored back to me by him.
This whole journey is a journey of unf*cking yourself
This week is our four year anniversary – I met my twin online in the beginning of April 2014 through our work in the web design at that time.
It has been the most challenging and at the same time the most magical and miraculous experience ever. The journey has been full of extreme highs and utter deep lows, that were soul shattering painful to go through.
But I wouldn’t have wanted to miss it for the world.
What I have come to see about this journey is that it’s really a journey of unf*cking yourself in all the ways you weren’t even aware of how you had f*cked yourself to begin with….
This may sound harsh but this is really what we have done. We have mindf*cked ourselves so deeply, it isn’t funny anymore. We have all imprisoned ourselves through our own fears and false beliefs, nobody enslaved us – it is all self inflicted. We enslaved ourselves and we self sustain our enslavement through our ‘corrupted’ programming.
The thing that corrupted our programming are our own false beliefs and fears.
What I have witnessed this journey do in me through the connection with the other, is that it has shown me every single place I had mindf*cked myself in ways I never thought possible. It showed me how I have given away my power, my authority and full self expression and how I self perpetuated and self sustained that vicious cycle throughout lifetimes and lifetimes, based on past life traumas that injected temporary ‘hacked code’ in my Divine blueprint programming.
Just like real life hacked code, you often don’t know the code has been messed with until you have to deal with the altered output. In computers much like real life the input creates the output, what you hold to be true inside of you becomes your experienced reality outside of you.
But not every hacker is that dumb that they put a sign on your website saying ‘This site has been hacked by…’ No, instead they use more subtle methods like redirect your Google traffic or your mobile traffic and it takes some time for the site owner to realize something is not right. Then even when you realize something is wrong, you still have to search through all the files to find the injected code – that is causing the issue.
The same applies to corrupted code in our own programming. We all have a perfect Divine blueprint, that has false and fear-based injected code overwriting it here and there. No, that is not because of some devilish alien plan or dark forces battling the light. You self injected that sh*t in there, through your own misperceptions throughout your soul’s journey through time and space.
You could spend another lifetime beating yourself up over the fact that you were your own jailer to begin with, or you can laugh at yourself and life and realize that if you did this to yourself – you can undo it as well.
You alone have the power to unf*ck yourself, because you realize YOU were the one that f*cked yourself to begin with.
Seeing that it is self inflicted and owning the fact that YOU had the power all along (hello Dorothy), gives you the power to not only change your current reality – it gives you the power to create Heaven on Earth. Because if you were capable of creating your own personal hell – then you have the power to create the opposite as well.
I have come to see that this is what the Twin Flame journey comes in our life to do, through the mirror of the other – help us find every piece of false or fear-based code that is keeping us from fully living our Divine blueprint in all it’s perfection. It is pre-designed to help you extract all the bullsh*t rewritten code that is keeping you from truly waking up to who YOU really are and being your TRUE SELF (tears are streaming down my face as I write this because it is so awestrucking beautiful, what we have signed up for).
So what does this all have to do with surrender? It is the ultimate paradox really because what we fear to lose, is basically the false identifications. What we have to surrender are our fears and our false beliefs, which brings us to an even deeper fear the fear of losing who we believed we were – the fear of losing ourselves. When in fact the more we surrender our false identifications and attachments, the more we become who we really are.
Letting go of our attachment
Which brings us to the core of surrender. It is not the thing or person that we need to surrender but our attachment to it, which I will go into deeper later.
First let’s go back to the realization that we are our own jailers in a self sustained and self perpetuated imprisonment of our own fears and our own false beliefs.
Why for f*ck sakes, would we do this to ourselves?! It’s insane.
Well first of all as I explained we weren’t aware of the fact that we were doing it to begin with. Just like the owner of a hacked website, it took us a while to figure out that part of our programming had been corrupted with hacked code and that this rogue code was being run (executed) instead of our original Divine blueprint.
But the second reason is even more important.
You received a pay off for whatever it is what you are holding on to, this especially applies to the insane attachments that you have clung to that boggle the mind – because it makes no sense. What makes it hard to let those attachments go, is the pay off you have to let go off as well.
So it’s hard to let go of what you want, but it’s even harder to let go of what you don’t want if not having want you want or having this situation that you actually don’t want gives you something else that you believe you NEED, aka the pay off. Without becoming aware of your attachment to the pay off, you can’t actually see how big the mindf*ck is that you are f*cking yourself with.
Let me give you a concrete example – Victimhood, the illusion of being powerless:
Pros of being powerless
- Less accountability
- Less responsibility
- Less stress
- Someone else carrying the burden for you
Cons of being powerless
- Others decide for you
- Restricted autonomy
- Less own input
- Restricted self expression
- Imprisonment to a certain degree
On the one side we see definite pros for choosing to be powerless and on the other side some major cons of what it will cost us. When at some point which will almost always be in a previous lifetime we decided based on our experience and unresolved trauma’s that the pros outweigh the cons – we accept the loss of whatever it costs us (in this case freedom) because we believe SUBCONSCIOUSLY that it is worth the sacrifice to gain the PAY OFF of the pros we feel we NEED.
Are you starting to understand how deeply you have mindf*cked yourself?!
Just look at the pros and cons of powerlessness and you see the journey of women through time reflected back to you. Do you think any woman would consciously choose those pros at the cost of those cons? Of course not! But she would subconsciously make that choice if she had been conditioned that way through her environment and past (life) experiences.
In many cultures including the Indian culture women are still restricted and limited in order to keep them safe for example, but it’s not only the women. To a certain degree men are restricted and limited as well, they just have a longer leash then the women in their culture wear.
But no matter what the reason for the leash is – cultural or otherwise, you have to understand that YOU are the one leashing yourself. You are not being leashed, that’s the illusion – you chose to be in whatever situation you are now and because you chose to be in it, you can also choose to let it go. If you had the power to get yourself in this situation, then naturally it follows that you have the power to get yourself out.
All you have to do is let go the things you thought you were getting, in order to be able to have what you truly want.
The Law of Attraction’s take on surrender
Because the truth is of course that you are not even a human being, you are an unlimited immortal soul having a human experience. You have just bought into the illusion of being a limited human in a flesh suit for the past couple of eons throughout your soul’s journey through time and space. But this was NEVER the truth of who you are.
Unf*cking yourself is waking up to this truth that A. you were never powerless to begin with and B. that you HAVE the power to create whatever the f*ck you want – because you are God/Goddess. You and Source are ONE.
It was only because of the false belief and fear-based injected malware code that had you believed otherwise. Once removed the only thing that remains is your perfectly engineered Divine blueprint that allows you to do, be and have everything you desire here on Earth and basically everywhere in the cosmos.
This is God’s playground and you are God/Goddess playing the game of life.
When we understand this, then we understand that it is our fears and false beliefs that need to be released and surrendered – because they are the things that keep us from seeing that we can have, be and do everything our soul desires to. That’s the deeper perspective on surrender.
But maybe an ever deeper insight is that we have to surrender the lack or absence of the thing(s) we want, in order to have them because they are an illusion as well. The Law of Attraction gives us more of what we focus on and the more we are fuming over the lack of something in our lives, the more we fuel the lack and absence of the very thing we want.
In order to have what you want, you have to become fully at peace with not having it NOW.
Surrender is the higher octave of acceptance – when you can fully accept that you don’t have what you want and be fully okay with it i.e. not make it’s absence mean anything, then what you want comes quickly and effortlessly on it’s own because you are no longer focused on it’s absence.
So you see surrender is not about not wanting what you want, it’s about releasing your attachment to what you want and letting go of the need to HAVE it now (which makes you acutely aware of it’s current absence – lack). Anything you want has to first be released (let go of) in order for it to be able to come in your life permanently, because until you do let go – it’s your own fear of loss that is keeping you from having what you desire most.
You have to surrender this fear of loss, to be able to have what you want. This is where most Divine Feminine’s do the opposite – instead of letting go, they clench on tighter to their Divine Masculine because they fear that if they let go that person will leave their life for good.
If you paid attention you know this is because somewhere they still believe that they can’t be, have or do what they want – because if they would believe it was their’s, there could not be fear of loss. If they truly believed in their own creative power they would know that union was their’s and trust that the Universe would bring this into manifestation just as perfectly as it brings about any other manifestation in their life – when you let go of the who and how.
In fact you could say that surrender shows you everywhere you fear or belief that you can’t have what you have asked for and of course you need to actually surrender, to get these fears and false beliefs out of the darkness of your subconscious and into the light of your conscious awareness. Only when you start surrendering, do you trigger your own blocks.
As long as you cling tightly, you leave the real blocks to union sealed off tight while you wait for the other person to give you what you want – which they can’t because the problem is not on their side, the problem is on your end. You are programmed with the rogue code, that is causing incompatibility problems with the output you want – i.e. union. Not to say that the other is perfect, but their problems are basically none of your business.
Union is an inside job, you hold the keys to union and nobody else.
Every objection coming into your mind right now when you read this are false beliefs and fears, that you need to clear to come into your union vortex and stay there.
Surrender and Twin Flame (physical) union
The reason I know this is because I have seen outer obstacles disappear like snow in the sun when my clients have made these shifts inside themselves. Surrender is the miracle recipe when it comes to union and I see this time and time again, when my clients tell me their union story.
I know you think your situation is an exception, but let me share some of the miracles I have witnessed when my clients fully let go and surrendered.
- He left his girlfriend and they are together now (multiple clients)
- He turned out to not be gay after all – they are happily married now
- The Indian family gave permission to marry despite that she was married when they met, twice divorced, three children and around ten years older than him – this couple is married now
- They reconnected after more than 40 years and are married now
- He divorced his wife and they are married now
Each and everyone of them told me the same thing, they had to let go completely. The woman who thought her twin was gay, had to fully make peace with the fact that romance was out of the question and when she did he started coming closer and closer.
One of my other clients who recently messaged me that she is now married to her twin, she first had to be all twinned-out and left all the Twin Flame groups completely fed up with everything. When she let go a miracle happened, her twin got a divorce and now they are married to each other.
I know to some of you it seems utterly unfair that we as Divine Feminines are being c*ckblocked by the Universe, we have to do all this deep soul searching work while the Divine Masculine seems to be able to snuggle up in someone else’s arms and not give a sh*t about union or us…
From a 3D perspective it may certainly look that way, from a 5D perspective I have explained it over and over again that it is what is needed for the healing and soul growth, But I have come to see something else, the era that we are in now is the era of the return of the Goddess.
The reason why it is the Divine feminine that is so challenged is because our Divine masculine have committed themselves to helping the Divine feminine heal the wounds that were keeping her out of power.
The golden age is an age in which masculine and feminine are truly each other’s equal, in order to step into that age we need to erase all our false programming including the patriarchal programming that believes men are superior to women. Women need to first be able to overwrite that program in themselves, they need to step into their power on their own before they can be with a life companion.
The Divine masculine is the instrument as we have seen above to help his Divine Feminine see ALL the ways she needs to unf*ck herself to balance her own inner masculinity and femininity and take her equal place in his life. He can’t give her an equal place, she has to claim (read create) it. She does this by owning the fact, that she created the inequality as well – not in this particular lifetime but throughout lifetimes and lifetimes.
We are the forerunners creating new relationship templates based on equality and unity, instead of separation and superiority. The shifts we make now as Divine Feminines and the Divine Masculines will follow our lead when we do, will change the way our sons and daughters will experience love and marriage – because our shift now will change the programming for all generations to come.
You have to understand that the Divine masculine can’t restore the Divine feminine’s power by giving it back to her, because if he did she would be at his mercy forever throughout eternity – he could give or take her power away from her when he pleased. She would always be only powerful at his will, which would leave her unequal. Instead the Divine Feminine needs to see that she gave away her power and that she can take it back any time she wants.
I pray this article serves you and helps you further along on your journey.
Sending you love and light on your Ascension path and Divine partnership journey, you are forever protected and guided. All is well.
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Lots of love,
If you are interested and excited to know how we can help you in your Twin Flame journey and Ascension process, check out the Tribe Mystery School for modern-day Initiates on the Twin Flame and Ascension path. In our signature program, the Inner Union Soul Alchemy Program we walk you step by step through the process of coming into inner union with your own soul. Inner union, is a prerequisite for true Twin Flame union and creating ‘Heaven on Earth’ from the inside out. You can also book an Akashic Record Clearing to release deep pain and trauma (including fears and false beliefs) from this and previous lifetimes.