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If you are a Twin Flame currently in an extramarital affair with your twin, please read this article to the end to better understand why continuing an affair is not going to give you what you want. Being sexually involved with your twin makes things harder, because you almost get what you want – but no matter how hard you try you can’t get your twin to fully commit.
In this article I will explain why this happens this way in real Twin Flame connections.
But first let’s separate the wheat from the chaff in this discussion, because there are two other groups who identify themselves within this sub group of Twin Flames, but that this article does not apply to. These are those merely spiritualizing an extramarital affair and those practicing Polyamore, which I will go into first before I continue on the subject of Twin Flame adultery.
Are you only spiritualizing an extramarital affair?
I am just going to be super blunt here, half of the people thinking they are on the Twin Flame journey and having an affair with their ‘twin’ are in fact only having an extramarital affair and justifying that to themselves by slapping on the Twin Flame label.
They somehow feel that it being a spiritual soul connection and all, exempts them from having any morals.
If the above triggers you enormously and makes you want to smash your device in anger, then it’s likely that this either applies to you or that you are not living in congruence with your own internal morals and values and that my words are now triggering this inner in-congruence, which hurts of course. You are internally in conflict with yourself and I just moved a spotlight on this inner conflict – making you intensely aware of your own repressed feelings of both a guilty conscience and self judgement.
I know many true Twin Flames often fear it only being an affair, that they are somehow reading more into than they should. In the end what really brings up the truth, is how you handle the unexpected twists and turns that are inevitable on the Twin Flame journey. Those not ready for the initiation in love that the Twin Flame journey entails, will quickly dump their would be twin and move on to the next.
A true initiate on the Twin Flame journey, will have no choice but to go within and face themselves.
Before we continue, for all of you who dream of a Polyamorous utopia (having multiple intimate relationships simultaneously, with the consent of all partners involved), being a Twin Flame is not part of that path. I am sorry to burst your bubble, but you guys are already complicating things beyond comprehension and it simply does not fit in with the Twin Flame or 5D paradigm. I know you are convinced that it does, but that is an illusion. The Twin Flame journey is a fast track to Ascension, it is meant to be so much more than just a romantic relationship (please download the free Inner Union Soul Alchemy manuscript to find out more).
Plus as long as you are happily sharing your bed here, there and everywhere, you simply will not go to the depths of your own subconscious wounding. You will have too much to keep you distracted from going within.
You may meet your Twin Flame in a Polyamorous set-up, as you can meet your twin in all different ways – but you will not be able to continue practicing Polyamory after that simply because your soul will isolate you to bring you to your inner transformation just like it does with everyone else on this path.
Now back to the people spiritualizing their extramarital affair with so called twin, I spot them a mile away. They are the ones that only want to whine and moan about the fact that their ‘twin’ hasn’t called them in two days, that he isn’t leaving his wife, that they are tired of waiting around, etc. When you respond to them, they only react to those willing to commiserate with them and when you put some pressure on them to snap out of their pity party, they strike out with everything they have got. They are master projectors and project their own wounding on everyone they deem against them (ego consciousness – you are either with them or against them).
Recently in the Twin Flame Oneness group that I run with a couple of colleagues there was one girl who was in an abusive relationship with a third party partner, twin was involved with someone else but they had been having an affair with each other and now she was getting it on with twin’s good friend which she called a plot twist and felt guided to move forward in because her angels said it was the right thing for her to do.
These people throw around Twin Flame lingo, without even understanding what it means. A plot twist for example is not what you do, but what happens to you. For example twin gets engaged, married, makes someone else pregnant etc. etc. those are plot twists. Plot twists happen to align you deeper to your heart’s desire.
Getting sexually involved with a good friend of whom you believe is your Twin Flame is NEVER a good idea. Yes, we are moving into a new paradigm but certain things remain true no matter which dimension you experience your reality in and one of them is that it will be extremely hard for a man’s ego to overcome you sleeping with one of his friends. You can theorize that maybe he needs that ‘lesson’ for his healing, but we aren’t the ones who decide what lessons others need to learn. Any attempt to do so, is what we normally refer to as revenge.
F*cking one of your twin’s friends is always coming from a place of revenge whether you are disowning your true motives or not. The only plot twist possible here is that you suddenly decide that twin’s friend is your real Twin Flame. By the time you are up to twin 4 or 5 nobody will believe you anymore. This may sound ridiculous but there are even people active as Twin Flame teacher who are past Twin Flame number 3, meaning they were wrong multiple times before.
When I asked the girl above how much she had worked on her own healing, I was first accused of being condescending. Then she decided she was going to answer me anyway, which was followed by a whole list that involved ZERO actual healing work. She didn’t list one healing modality or healer she had worked with, it was just one list of airy-fairy nonsense. Then she became angry for me even asking her about it and told me I wasn’t healed enough for asking her in the first place and launched in with an attack on me and my work.
This whole altercation started because she was asked not to use our group as a venting place to drop her unprocessed emotions, because if we allow this – before you know it everybody will be triggered in their pain body and the energy in the group will go down fast. No one will want to be in there anymore except the ones who want to commiserate and throw a constant pity party. That’s not what we want our Twin Flame group to become, because it serves no one and especially not those seeking to find answers on their journey.
I am describing this particular situation because it’s very recent, but I have seen this happen over and over again with especially this subgroup who identify themselves as Twin Flames. As soon as they don’t get the response they are hoping for their ego becomes a furious dragon where the one type will engage directly if that is their M.O. and launch in to attack, while the other type will resort to victimhood, manipulation and passive aggressiveness depending on how they are wired.
They respond from their own unhealed wounding and ego because, despite the fact that they have identified themselves as Twin Flames they aren’t actually on the Twin Flame path – they just think they are. That may seem as a harsh judgment, but I see it as stating the truth. Let’s not beat around the bush here there are many people who think they are in a Twin Flame dynamic when they are not, hence the concept of a False Twin Flame or a catalyst twin…. which is a polite way of saying you were wrong.
Another recent example was a girl accusing her Twin Flame of playing games, she was a big girl she said – why didn’t he tell her like it is? Many people reacted to her and one self proclaimed psychic told her she felt the guy wasn’t her twin and that he was with someone else. The girl responded to no one except the self proclaimed psychic to let her know that her twin had contacted her over Thanksgiving to tell her he had been busy and to wish her happy holidays. So I asked her if the only reason she responded to the so called psychic was to let her know that she was wrong and that her twin had not chosen someone above her and she answered yes. Her own reaction was so petty, yes the person stating he wasn’t her twin and interested elsewhere had no right to react like that – we can’t judge for another if their connection is true or not.
Which may make you lift an eyebrow, because it seems as if I am doing just that in this article. This is not about who is or who isn’t a Twin Flame, I believe everyone has a Twin Flame but not everyone is scheduled to meet their twin in this lifetime. Putting the Twin Flame connection on a pedestal is just as much an illusion. You enter the Twin Flame path when the soul is ready and Ascension happens anyway whether you meet your twin or not. In the end all roads lead to the same destination.
What I want to highlight here is the difference between a true Twin Flame and Ascension path and those who are still clearly anchored in the old 3D paradigm sprinkling it with pixie dust and some crystals thinking they are on a Divine Partnership journey when they are not.
This does not mean that the connection they are experiencing are not valuable, to the contrary EVERY relationship offers us a chance to heal and grow. But not every soul connection or deep connection for that matter is a Twin Flame counterpart. It doesn’t have to be.
For all you true Twin Flames caught up in an affair with your twin, highlighting this contrast helps you better discern for yourself what applies to you. Are you simply having an affair or is there more to your connection? In the rest of this article we will delve into this higher initiation of the Twin Flame path and Ascension journey, Because that is what the Twin Flame encounter is all about.
What I have tried to show you in all the examples above is how the old 3D paradigm and ego consciousness does not belong to an initiate on the Twin Flame journey. Yes, we all enter our journeys this way but through the inner alchemy transformation that the Twin Flame experience takes us through we are left no choice but to release this old way of being and interacting. This is because the Twin Flame journey is our gateway into the higher 5th dimensional consciousness and state of being.
Did you know Twin Flames aren’t very active sexually initially or if they are it’s often short lived?
What many people don’t understand about the Twin Flame journey is that there is not a whole lot of sex going on between Twin Flame couples initially, not even the true Twin Flames that are in an extramarital affair with their twins will be able to mate like rabbits.
Sex does happen of course also within, true twin connections. I will explain later why this may not be serving your highest interest in the long run, to continue having an affair with your twin when one or both of you have a life-partner.
The reason why twin’s aren’t that sexually active is because in the Twin Flame dynamic due to the merging of the light-bodies, the lining up of the chakras and the rising of the kundalini energy, sex tends to bring to the surface ALL the subconscious wounding that is still blocking the chakras.
From my own journey and my work with clients I have seen that much of the subconscious wounding from this lifetime and previous lifetimes is in the seven main chakras. It is also stored in the body, but the mental. emotional and vibrational traumas tend to create blockages in the corresponding chakras.
Because the Twin Flame path is a fast track to Ascension, the Twin Flame triggers the subconscious wounding in order for it to be healed and so that the kundalini energy can flow unobstructedly through the chakra system. This is not possible if the chakras are still blocked with subconsicous wounds and traumas from this lifetime and previous ones.
In order for the kundalini energy to rise up from the base chakra and flow up through all the in between chakras to the crown, these chakras need to be open and free of the past hurt that blocked them.
Sex is the quickest way to do this, but it’s also unsustainable because when the past wound/trauma gets brought up for healing it energetically pushes away the twin – hence the push-pull that Twin Flames are so familiar with. The truth is however that just the energetic connection is strong enough to trigger the subconscious wounding and allows for a much more gentle release of this stored trauma than when twins would release it through sex.
Don’t romanticize this either because the sex will be anywhere from good to fantastic (although it can also be disappointing with the twin) but that does not dismiss you from having to work through the uprooted wounding or trauma in the same way as if it were not triggered through sex.
It is for this reason that if you are f*cking your brains out with who you believe to be your Twin Flame, this person probably isn’t your twin at all. Each sexual encounter would uproot subconscious fear, pain, memories and your system would not be able to handle such an overload of unresolved trauma being brought to the surface. You wouldn’t be able to keep yourself standing amidst all the pain that would be brought to the surface in such an accelerated pace.
That’s why the souls build in distance in this journey to give you the time to work through this opening up of the chakras step by step.
I have personally been healing at an increased rapid rate over the past twelve months, doing up to 4 or more healing sessions a week. When I go into intense healing, I become timeless – I can’t get anything done and also my daily routines suffer. This is because every healed wound also needs integration time. Every energy shift needs adjustment from the physical body to be able to hold this higher frequency and often after a quantum leap in higher vibration, everything still inside of you that does not match this new higher vibrational frequency is brought up to be released. This process takes time and that is also why Twin Flame unions don’t fall into place as quickly as we would like, this is because of all above reasons.
So you see that this is a completely different path, then just having sex with someone when they can get away from their wife or you can get away from your husband, etc. It goes so much deeper. Later on in the journey sex will not be an issue anymore because of the deep healing both partners have gone through.
Being a Twin Flame doesn’t make you above the ‘karmics’ involved
Another thing I have noticed with Twin Flames actively in an affair with a married or otherwise involved partner or who find themselves in a long term partnership with someone other than the twin – is the idea that because their connection is spiritual it is somehow above earthly connections and in fact superior to the ‘karmic’ connection in their lives.
Twin Flame relationships are certainly in a different ballpark, but the whole concept of higher, more than or in any other way superior is an ego concept.
Just because you have identified yourself as a Twin Flame, doesn’t suddenly make it right to have an affair when you or your twin (or both maybe) are involved with someone else. Being a Twin Flame does not elevate you above common morals or exempt you from behaving in integrity. If you guys are sneaking around a partners back, you aren’t in integrity and despite the fact that you may be true authentic Twin Flames – you are someone’s dirty little secret or they could be your dirty little secret that you are hiding from your spouse.
This energetic frequency does not align you to Twin Flame union, ever.
That’s not to judge you or tell you that you are bad – because that’s just more 3D old paradigm BS. The gates of hell are not going to open because you have slept with your otherwise married Twin Flame, but simply on a Law of Attraction level – You can’t have what you really want, when you allow yourself to settle for less. The Twin Flames I know that have needed to go through an affair on their path because of their own wounding and lessons they chose, all got stuck being the mistress for years on end without ever getting closer to the twin choosing for them.
I think that is the worst for those in an active affair with their twin that they are so close to having what they want, but never have it completely because the ‘karmic’ partner fills that role even if the marriage is not a happy one. It’s often still perceived as a stand-in-the-way to the union craved with the twin.
This all stems from a misunderstanding of the role a so called ‘karmic’ plays in the Twin Flame connection. Personally I don’t like the word karmic so much, because in Twin Flame land it’s often used to imply inferiority of the connection between one of the Twin Flame couple and a third party partner. I personally believe that the involved third party partners are Soulmates, which many people find difficult to accept because also the concept of Soulmate is so overly romanticized. A Soulmate does not have to be a romantic connection, a Soulmate can be a boss, a client, a friend, a sister, brother, mother, daughter and so on and it can also be a spouse.
Those third party partners that are married to a Twin Flame, have pre-agreed prior to this embodiment to support your union process. They do so in many ways for example by preparing your twin for you (if for example there is a big difference in life experiences), they trigger all your subconscious wounds about not being good enough and fear of loss, they help your twin learn lessons they simply can’t learn with you and their relationship with the twin can also help the twin and you as well clear deep karma from previous lifetimes with this person.
Because this is not a romantic journey, but an Ascension journey these third party partners have come into your life to support you and your Twin Flame on your Ascension path. In the old days initiates on the Ascension journey were brought to initiation chambers where they were faced with their own fears and emotions in order to overcome them. In a recent past life regression of my own I saw that I worked in such a chamber under the Sphinx by the Pyramids of Giza, my initiation chamber that I initiated students in was a square pool in which the initiate was confronted with their own emotions.
Today we are heading towards mass Ascension and we simply can’t be initiated through the old ways anymore, so instead our life circumstances have become those initiations. The initiation chambers of the past were like virtual reality chambers simulating whatever you needed to overcome. Your current day reality is in the same way a virtual reality, there to help you overcome what is still blocking you from being who you truly are on a soul level and expressing yourself as such in the physical reality. Your twin’s spouse is part of that initiation process, it’s absurd to see their relationship with your twin as inferior – because their union (and I use that word on purpose) is meant to serve your highest good.
They are there to help you pave your union with your Twin Flame, when the time is right.
Resenting them, hating and despising them or wishing them away only prolongs their stay, because as with anything that you resist, persists. Part of the initiation is becoming free of jealousy and undisturbed by outer appearances. You can’t ever build a new reality, while resisting or resenting the old reality. Many Divine Feminines hold off their own unions, this way.
Why it doesn’t serve you to have an affair with your twin or to cheat on your spouse
I didn’t write this article to make you feel sh*tty about cheating on your own partner or on your twin’s spouse.
I am writing this article because I want to help you see that having an affair doesn’t serve you.
In case you don’t know my story, my twin got married to someone else, a little short of 3 years into our journey. So I know what it is like to be in love with a married man (although in my case he wasn’t married when we met). We live too far away from each other to have an affair and we only check in with each other every now and then. He is on his path and I am on my path, though for years I wished we could have been in more regular contact while on our own paths.
I see now why we couldn’t be and how this time apart has allowed us both to do in-depth healing work. I have actively led the way by spending a small fortune on working with my own teachers, healers, coaches and mentors and he has despite being in a relationship with someone else followed suit by integrating the healing through our connection.
When we last spoke to each other on Messenger after he reached out to me in a dream at the end of July 2018, he told me he had wanted to speak to me because he was feeling pulled into his spirituality. He then asked me how it was possible that his third eye was opening when he himself did not pray and did not meditate? When I told him it was because he was energetically connected to me and that I had done massive healing work since we last saw each other he immediately replied with ‘I knew it had something to do with you!’ and when I later asked him how he knew he said he could feel it was connected to me.
I am sharing this with you because I know many of you hold on for dear life, because you fear that the connection will be lost otherwise. Between true Twin Flames, this is never the case – you are connected throughout all time, realities and dimensions no matter what initiatory reality timeline you are currently experiencing. Just like the initiation chambers of old, this is but a simulated reality meant to bring you closer to the realization of your deepest heart’s desire, by you overcoming all the fears and false beliefs that were standing in the way.
Let’s take a look at all the ways having an affair with your twin does not serve you.
It makes the journey emotionally much harder
Being sexually active with your twin doesn’t allow you to step back and be objective, because you are smack in the middle of things. It is also much more frustrating because you are both so near and yet so far from everything that you want. It’s much harder to quit smoking when you smoke every now and then.
in the same way it’s much harder to let go when every now and then you get a tastes of pure ecstasy, but only for the couple of hours that your twin is able to give you. In many ways having an affair is pure self torture because, you are trying to feed off of bits and crumbs when you not only want, but deserve to feast on the banquet.
Harmonization is one of the key steps in this journey, its very difficult to reach a state of inner harmony while in an active affair with your twin. It will be much more of a roller coaster ride, with extreme highs and plummeting lows. The same can be said for surrendering, after an afternoon or evening of deep and utter connection, it will feel as a rude awakening when the married twin has to return home to their spouse.
The first days and weeks of separation are always the worst, if you are sleeping with your twin you put yourself through this over and over again.
You don’t need sex to solidify the connection with your twin
In normal 3D relationships you often need sex to seal the deal, especially if you want to keep someone coming back for more – you need to blow their mind and get ’em hooked.
Just like Juicy J. sings in the Katy Perry song, Dark horse:
She ride me like a roller coaster
Turn the bedroom into a fair
Her love is like a drug
I was tryna hit it and quit it
But lil’ mama so dope
I messed around and got addicted
Except this isn’t love of course, this is manipulation, it’s abusing your sexual power to bind someone to you and that is not of the Twin Flame frequency.
Twins can not see and talk to each other for years and their love for each other will only have grown stronger. In the old 3D paradigm romantic love relationships, it was out of sight out of mind, but that does not apply to the love and connection between Twin Flames.
This is one connection that you do not need to prostitute yourself for in order to keep it. It may not feel that way, but that is your own subconscious fear of loss being triggered.
It may feel really good that your man or woman can’t get enough of you in bed and keeps coming back for more despite them being with someone else, but that is actually an indication of your own subconscious wounding in which you are mixing up your self worth with your sexual worth – this is often a holdover from sexual abuse or incest. This is especially a trap for women because we are so indoctrinated with the sexualization of femininity and the false notion that our value is connected to our ability to please a man in looks and in bed. Just more BS patriarchal conditioning that we need to break free of.
It will not land you the commitment or union you seek
While we are at it let’s get our stats really clear, less than 25% of all affairs end up in a marriage between the wandering spouse and the person they were sleeping with.
In all other cases they either don’t leave their spouse or leave the spouse but not to be with you.
In those same statistics those marriages that do start out as affairs tend to not last more than 5 years 75% of the time. You may think you are an exception because your connection is a Twin Flame connection, but deceit and lies can NEVER be the basis of a 5D union, I am sorry.
My second ex-husband had an affair for I think three years out of our seven years marriage with the same woman. Despite the fact that she wanted nothing more than to have his baby and that he had even tried to make her pregnant. When we finally divorced, he didn’t go back to her. The fact that he had gone to her twice, while I was pregnant and then didn’t tell her our second baby died shortly after being born made her realize that they didn’t have the relationship she thought they had and she threw him out. I know this because I had found him one month after our daughter died, in her house when he had promised to come to me and the children that weekend but did not show up.
This woman wasted three years of her life waiting for my husband to leave me, because he had convinced her that he did not love me and was only with me because we accidentally had a son together. When I finally pressed for a divorce, he did not go back to her and she was a lot more beautiful and interesting than his current girlfriend.
In my first marriage, I was the one having the affairs. Primarily with two men, first our best man and later a co-worker. Both wanted me desperately to leave my husband for them. I did leave my husband in the end, but did not continue my relationship with either of these men despite the fact that they both still wanted me to. My first husband was very aggressive, jealous and controlling and I was 16 when we moved in together. He was six years older and took on a father role, for me having the affairs was trying to rebel against him. A belated puberty, that I had had to skip because my life path had forced me to grow up faster than my age in numbers.
Being on both sides of the cheating spectrum has made me realize how important it is to first end the relationship you are in, before you start a relationship with someone else. When my second husband cheated on me I really thought to myself, if you fell in love with someone else why didn’t you just tell me – instead of all this lying, drama and sneaking around. It created so much stress and disharmony in our family unit.
What you do unto another, you do unto yourself
With all the lying and sneaking around you hurt the people involved. If you have been on the receiving end of a spouse cheating on you, you will know how much this hurts. I would have sworn that my husband would never cheat on me, only to find out that he had been involved with someone else since I was eight months pregnant with our first son.
It’s not even about the sex but about the emotional betrayal. My twin has had different ‘girlfriends’ and is now married, I never lay awake thinking of him having sex with someone else. For me the deepest pain was that I had trusted my ex-husband and pretty much like the woman he was sleeping with, I had to come to terms that also I did not have the relationship I thought I had with my then husband. Maybe that hurt even more, the realization that my whole marriage was a lie.
Here is the thing though, the subconscious mind doesn’t differentiate between you and someone else. It sees everything you do to another, the same as you are doing to yourself.
Watch the video I linked in a previous article about Twin Flame hypocrisy, in the part the video starts at – several leading experts explain how this section of the brain works and why it’s so important to give what you want to receive. Remember if it applies in a positive way it also applies in a negative way, because the two are not separated but form one whole.
You may think well if he or she pre-agreed before this lifetime to support us in our union, than they knew what they were signing up for. Again it’s not up to us to decide in which measure another must or can suffer and trust me that being in a loveless marriage or having a wandering spouse is painful enough.
What I remember from that time in my life, was this constant feeling that something was off. When I talked to my ex-husband’s mistress who like me had also been on the spiritual path – she had also felt it – ‘but you just don’t want to believe it’s true.’ she told me. I as his wife had shut my eyes to the truth just as much as she had.
There are no winners in an affair, only losers
When I came to India after we had been intimate many nights, my twin came to my hotel one night very serious and wanted to talk. We were lying in each others arms when he confessed that he had been seeing another girl the past couple of months. He found it very difficult to tell me, but he didn’t want this to ever come between us.
I understood why he had run into an affair with her and in fact while I was in India she got engaged to someone else and would marry this person the following year.
For me it wasn’t that bad because my twin and I had not been in a relationship together or in contact for that matter. One of his friends had tried to tell me, but had also made a pass at me so I wasn’t quite sure if it was true. When I confronted my twin, he told me there was no one he was seeing or interested in and I believed him. I mean he hardly ever replied, so if he took the time to reply to this then it must be important for him that I knew he was single.
I spoke to the girlfriend afterwards and apologized, telling her I honestly didn’t know she had been in a relationship with him and she graciously answered that she thought she understood what had happened and that I need not apologize. She was very compassionate with me and told me to forget my twin and seize my happiness.
In the end, that December 2015 my twin pretty much broke up with both of us (or maybe their affair carried on a little longer) but it was just one big mess that could have been avoided. My twin hurt both me and his girlfriend by trying to have his cake and eat it too. We both loved him in our own way and he loved us. He tried to make it seem that her love wasn’t that deep and that our love was what he wanted deep in his heart, but he was just too scared to allow himself to have it.
And that is the most important pattern I see in the affairs that I have witnessed up close, there is always an escape factor involved.
- For me having an affair twice in my twenties was a way to escape my first husband’s dominance and control, it was a marriage from hell and I should have gotten out much sooner.
- My second husband is Senegalese, he had arrived from Africa maybe two years before he met me. I already had children from my previous marriage and suddenly he was becoming father of three mouths to feed, on a pretty sh*tty salary. I had my own money but that actually made it worse. He ended up having an affair twice to escape the pressure of his responsibilities.
- My twin already knew at 24 that I was the woman he wanted to spend the rest of his life with. A little after we met he was forced by his family into an arranged marriage and basically by the time I got there it had already been a done deal. He managed to postpone the marriage for three years, but after I was there the family pushed the marriage through with haste. The last time I had spoken to my twin (before I had come to India) he had told me he had been celibate for a long time, only a week later we both found out I would be there in three months because his best friend unexpectedly invited me to his own wedding. My twin knew that I was preparing for a pregnancy between him and myself because that was what I seemed to be guided to at that time and what I had shared with him. He did not want to be sex starved, when I arrived and lose his head. So he put a girlfriend that he had already not successfully tried to forget me with before, between us and in a same way it was also an escape not to have to deal with the fact that the love of his life was coming to see him – but that he didn’t want to betray his family.
As you can see in all three examples the person having the affair was using it to not have to face something difficult in their lives. Me I was avoiding the fact that I was in an abusive marriage and needed to leave. My ex-husband was trying to avoid the pressure of an increased (financial) responsibility and my twin was avoiding having to deal with the conflict of his feelings for me and his loyalty to his family. The girlfriend was safe, she was planned to marry someone else, but with me he couldn’t just take what he wanted (which he didn’t) and continue life as is. I would make him want to be disloyal to his family, which went against everything he was raised to be.
What about emotionally cheating? Isn’t that just as bad
Sure emotional cheating is just as bad, but its the one thing you can’t actually control.
When I was with my twin alone in my hotel room he begged me not to ever force him to choose me and I answered him ‘The one thing I want from you is the only thing you can’t ever force and that is your love.’ You can force someone to marry you, you can force a pregnancy, but no matter how hard you try you can’t ever force someone to truly love you.
Someone either loves you or they don’t and there is nothing you can do to change that, trust me I have tried everything under the sun to earn and deserve love as it was part of my core wounding with my Twin Flame from a previous lifetime.
For a man emotional cheating is worse than sexually cheating. From my experience a man has less problems having sex for sex with just a little bit of post-coital shame and guilt. Where it becomes hard for a man, is when their primary relationship and everything that stands for becomes at risk. This doesn’t start to become a risk until he really loves you.
Let me blunt, but clear: as you can’t force, earn or deserve love their is no point in holding on.
If this person truly loves you, they will find their way back to you some way, somehow. When you aren’t there to blame, he/she has to take responsibility for their own inner conflict in the heart. Because whether you are there or not their feelings for you will be pulling at their heart strings and they are then forced to deal with their own guilt and shame that this triggers.
If aggravating their shame and guilt would be a successful strategy, the amount of marriages starting from an affair would be higher. So we know that encouraging an emotional affair doesn’t bring us closer either and it does not give you what you want – again it only gives you little bits and crumbs of what you truly crave.
From a Law of Attraction viewpoint, its imperative that you don’t ask to feast on the banquet when you are still licking other people’s plates clean. You need to make SPACE for what you want and quit filling it with what does not satisfy you.
Why you need not be jealous of the other
Another thing I see happening a lot is the green eyed monster of jealousy rearing it’s ugly head on both sides.
Let’s shine a spotlight of clarity on this.
When you are sharing a man or a woman, there is nothing to be jealous of because the other person isn’t getting your lover fully either. Let me give you some examples.
Recently in one of my Cut through the Crap sessions I spoke to a client who’s twin just had a baby with his long term girlfriend. She was jealous of the time he spent with his girlfriend, when just before she had told me that when his girlfriend was pregnant he would have his hand on her belly but his thoughts would be with her, his twin. He was doing what was expected of him, but his heart wasn’t in it. He was there physically, but emotionally he had checked out and was where his heart is.
At the same time the spouse is often jealous of the lover, let’s go back to my story with my 2nd ex-husband. Yes, he was having sex with her while he refused to have sex with me (he didn’t want to get me pregnant again) but what is there to be jealous of when he loses a child and doesn’t even break down and share his pain with you? It says a lot about the level of intimacy they shared. Intimacy goes far beyond taking off your close and having sex, true intimacy is about opening up your heart and sharing what you hold within it.
In a clandestine affair neither of you ever get the highest and best version of your lover, because they are too busy spreading themselves thin leading a double life of lies and deceit.
The woman my ex-husband was having an affair with desperately wanted a baby with him and caught in his web of lies he had no choice but to try and make her pregnant and hope to God she was too old to conceive. Little did she know that the very reason he was in her bed at that moment was because he got me pregnant, by basically only looking in to my eyes (okay it was a little more than that, but lets just say my son is a miracle baby).
She could be jealous of me because I had his children. I could be jealous of her because he allowed himself to be passionate with her which he refused to let himself be with me because he feared another pregnancy and another mouth to feed. Of our seven years of marriage my ex-husband refused to touch me for six years because he did not want me to get pregnant again.
But the truth is neither of us got what we wanted from this man, a lifetime partner and father of our children. I am going to be extremely honest here, I love my son to the moon and back – he is the apple of my eye but I actually never wanted a partnership with his father nor wanted a child with him. I tried for years to make my marriage work, but the truth was that we were friends not lovers (although we did make sparks fly in the beginning).
But it is that experience from this marriage that has allowed me to have compassion for my Twin Flame’s wife and her fate in their marriage. I know how she feels, because I felt the same way in my previous marriage. I have lived what it is like to be married to someone who does not love you like he should, but felt forced to marry you anyway and make the best of it. The truth was that I was not as in love with him as I wanted to be either or made myself believe I was.
I know there is nothing to envy in her relationship with my twin. Yes, she has had him in the physical, but his heart and soul have been with me. Likewise their is nothing for her to envy in his relationship with me, because even though I own his heart our 3D relationship has been as good as non-existent over the past three years (they will be married two years in January 2019) except for a couple of phone calls and short chats on text here and there.
He hasn’t been able to be there for her, just as much as he has not been able to be there for me.
But if he does get on a plane to come to me when he is ready to live his truth. like he promised me three months into his arranged marriage – we will both have a clear conscience and a union based on truth instead of months or even years of lies and deceit.
Why having an affair with your twin doesn’t make you a bad person
Some of you reading this may find yourself smack in the middle of an affair with your twin, please remember that this article is not to point the finger at you and tell you how awful you are for cheating on your own spouse or on your twin’s spouse.
Everything happens for a reason, everything is always happening for our highest good. If you do find yourself in the midst of an affair, it is because that experience has served you up to now,
I could not have written this article for example without having experienced this theme from all sides and angles. If I had not known what it is to have an affair myself, I would have only come across as a sanctimonious b*tch trying to tell you how to live your life.
Instead I have taken the time to really dive into everything I know about adultery to share with you the lessons I have learned. I also have worked with clients and have close friends who have been in an affair with their twin for years. I have seen them struggle and I have seen them try to make sense of their experience.
As I have stated in this article and this is also what I teach in my Align to Your Divine Plan Twin Flame Mastery Program which is part of The Twin Flame Tribe membership, that it is better not to engage in a sexual affair with your twin for your own sake. Having an affair with your twin (or a married person) is literally the ultimate head-f*ck because you are so close to what you want, yet at the same time it is so far out of reach. A feeling that you will recognize and that the women that I have spoken to in this position have confirmed over and over again.
That being said an affair may also prove to be an immense healing opportunity, when we go back to the ancient virtual reality initiation chambers – being in an affair is the most real-time virtual reality environment that you could ever chose to bring up all your subconscious wounding around:
- fear of loss
- not being good enough
- earning and deserving love
- releasing the other woman syndrome from your consciousness
- and any and all other issues around self-worth
No other real-life situation will trigger you like this one and it can very well be that this is part of the script you and your twin made to find your way back to each other. There is no right or wrong when it comes to your soul’s journey, because all roads lead back to the same path and the direction your soul wants to move forward in.
There is also no use in flogging yourself or worse over this, you are free to forgive yourself at any time and choose a different road to travel.
Yet you finding this article and reading it in this specific moment in time tells me you are ready to look at this from a different perspective and maybe even face the inner fears and false beliefs that have kept you holding on tightly to a situation that has not brought you what you wanted.
I pray that reading this article will give you the shift in perception you need and the courage to really go after you heart’s desire, not by force (what you have kinda tried up till now) but by aligning to it through spiritual law.
I love you deeply and want you to know that you deserve to feast on the banquet and don’t need to satisfy yourself with bits and crumbs. Now before you charge of to your Twin Flame to tell him/her this ….
They already know this, but you would have never believed them even if they told you so.
This whole setup has served to help you know and believe this about yourself without a shadow of a doubt. When this belief is true and authentic and there is no more (past life) gunk and sludge in your subconscious mind contradicting this belief, you will have your deepest heart’s desire manifest in your life.
You will be fully aligned to the banquet feast.
Except you can’t fake this, you can’t bully the other into a commitment by ranting on about your worth. You need to claim your worth, you need to own your worth and you need to act according to what you are worth.
If you are interested and excited to know how we can help you in your Twin Flame journey and Ascension process, check out the Tribe Mystery School for modern-day Initiates on the Twin Flame and Ascension path. In our signature program, the Inner Union Soul Alchemy Program we walk you step by step through the process of coming into inner union with your own soul. Inner union, is a prerequisite for true Twin Flame union and creating ‘Heaven on Earth’ from the inside out. You can also book an Akashic Record Clearing to release deep pain and trauma (including fears and false beliefs) from this and previous lifetimes.
Sending you love and light on your Ascension path and Divine partnership journey, you are forever protected and guided. All is well.
If this article resonates with you please share it abundantly. Thank you.
Lots of love,
P.s. Spirit wanted me to add another point of view here, because just as I finished writing the article a client of mine that I had not spoken to in 6-9 months shot me a message. She had believed to be on the Twin Flame path for eight years from 2011 till this year and had been having an active long distance affair (India – Dubai). However she could never bring herself, to leave her husband.
Her husband had known about the affair for the past 1,5 years she recently found out, but had been waiting for her to tell him. In their case the extramarital affair actually brought husband and wife closer together, which is just as rare as coming out of an affair with a ring on your finger and maybe even less common.
Today she doesn’t know what the connection was that she had with this other man, except that it has changed her in a way that would have otherwise not been possible.
Which goes to show us yet again, that everything is always happening for our highest good. But before you think, that your spouse will react in the same way – think again. Even their couples therapist that they went to, to mend their marriage said he had seen around 6000 couples and none had ever reacted like her husband did.
Although this is a beautiful happy end for the already married couple, we have to realize that the man she believed to be her twin also invested eight years of his life in this woman and came out of this empty handed. I am sure it brought him good things as well, but it just reiterates that the chances of starting a lifetime partnership out of an affair are slim.
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