A mission-based or spiritual business is still a business
So let’s start with a crash course online business.
I am the perfect person to give this because this used to be my business when I met my Twin Flame.
I was an online marketing expert, when online marketing was just being developed in the Netherlands and social media had just started to be added to the mix. Most offline businesses had no clue how to use the internet to reach their target groups and weren’t sure if they should get on-board or not.
So I taught both the strategies and had a webdesign team that built marketing websites, when most other web-designers were still building online business cards or online brochures for their clients. Being a native English speaker due to partially growing up in the United States, I saw an opportunity to implement the ideas that I was learning from my own business mentors in the States, something many other web-designing companies had not caught onto.
I myself was an absolute internet success story and had even been featured in a couple of big Dutch newspapers. I was featured front page on the Volkskrant (see image above) because I had gotten myself off of welfare, as a stay at home mom. I knew how to harness the power of the internet, because I had used it to create financial independence from nothing but a laptop and a solid good idea.
Running a mission-based or spiritual business is the same as running any other business, except chances are that it is more heart aligned and that your desire to serve is greater than your desire to get rich quick. But any business that is not run as a business is an expensive hobby, and above all not sustainable. Businesses have to make profit, in order to be able to expand and grow.
What many people on the outside don’t understand is that it costs money to run a business. It’s not free and it’s not cheap, because you have to buy in many things from other businesses and they charge you the full amount too. Being a spiritual entrepreneur doesn’t give you discounts with other suppliers, nor does it get you tax and VAT cuts.
‘Yeah, but what do you need other suppliers for then?’, you may think. You only need a good idea and a laptop, you just said. True, but you also need a web hosting package, domain names, you need a developer, designer, or make your own website. You need a newsletter platform to send newsletters through and even though as a personal user of social media it’s free, social media companies built their platform in such a way that you need to pay them to reach the followers you already have – because they suppress your natural organic reach to be able to sell you their advertising.
Let’s take my business as an example I have around 5 websites that need maintenance including this one, the tribe program itself, the Twin Flame Oracle and 2 mobile apps, my personal website and a WordPress plugin we developed and sell to heart-based entrepreneurs (my twin helped design the logo in 2015).
My web-hosting and domain costs are around $1000 a year, it costs me $150 a month to be able to send newsletters due to all the spam acts, you have to use a mailing-provider otherwise your mails will not reach your followers and you risk your websites getting blacklisted as a spam account. So you have to pay them to use their platform, to send emails to your own list that you build yourself (don’t ever buy email addresses because you will end up talking to the wrong people who are not interested in what you have to say because you are violating their privacy).
I have a full-time developer who I pay approximately $700 a month whether he works or not, this allows my developer who has been with me since 2011 to stay at home with his family when before he had to go to the big cities far from home to get work. Even though most months I ‘overpay’ him, it’s cheaper than having to hire a developer when things go wrong and when things do go terribly wrong – I can call Noor, my developer out of his bed to fix it. Which hardly ever happens and also his weekends are holy as far as I am concerned, that’s his time with his wife and four children.
When I want something built, such as the Twin Flame Oracle app, a website, an online program, an e-course like the Love Project – Noor builds it for me. Noor is my good karma and I am his. I also have a designer that I pay per hour, he works for the company that built my app that I pay per project. Because the Android and Apple apps, stream the content from the website I got them at a cheaper rate which was still in the thousands – plus you have to pay for developers licenses in the app store. On top of that I have a Facebook budget which is usually around $300 a month. Without advertising, I only reach a fraction of my followers, it seems to be around 1% at the moment. Also all those great images I use, I have to buy them or risk immense fines for breaking image copyright laws.
It costs me around $1500 to sometimes $2000 a month just to be able to share FREE content with all of you, something people don’t realize because well it’s not something you have to think about when using someone’s paid or free services.
But what about donations? You create all this great content for free…
People have the opportunity to make a donation, but most people don’t and honestly if I would have relied on donations, projects such as the Twin Flame Oracle simply wouldn’t have come off the ground. The total amount donated in 2018 for example would not even buy one mobile app. Some bloggers decide to move their site to Patreon, so that they can charge for their content but as soon as you start charging for people to read or watch your work you drastically cut down the size of your audience.
I have heard Twin Flame YouTubers with large followings, beg their viewers to all just pay $1 a month for the content being shared – so that the person could quit their day-time massage job and show up as a Twin Flame coach full-time. With say 15.000 followers if only 3.000 would pay her $1 a month she would be able to quit her job. She may get 10-20 or maybe even a hundred people that will do it – the rest shrugs their shoulders and thinks ‘not my problem!‘
This is a mindset mistake on the coach/healer/readers part, you aren’t a charity project. Instead such a person should create a product to sell, that will generate the desired income. But don’t forget that as a business you are required to pay VAT and income tax so you actually need to make more than the desired $3000 if that is what you need to meet your personal costs….
The reason I am explaining this in such detail is because the rest of this article is based on this.
Every spiritual entrepreneur has business costs, that they have to meet every month. Plus the more money you make, the more you can increase your reach and impact on the world – which is why spiritual entrepreneurs start a business to begin with because they want to serve, they want to help, they want to heal, they want to instigate positive change.
Fear-based lack programming
Interestingly enough of all the entrepreneurs I have worked with in my career as online marketing expert, people wanting to serve and especially spiritual entrepreneurs tend to have the worst money mindset and are often deeply entrenched in scarcity programming.
Maybe it’s because they feel more comfortable in their upper chakras, and like to stay up there. The biggest money blocks are in our lower chakras. Money blocks tend to manifest in both the solar plexus (worth issues) and the root chakra (survival & safety issues), I have found with working with clients to heal their money blocks in the Akashic Record Clearings that I offer.
But many spiritual entrepreneurs also tend to have a lot of negative beliefs around money, like that it’s not spiritual to ask money for your spiritual gifts, yet they have to eat and pay their rent like everyone else. So they often go for dirt cheap and then work themselves till they bleed in order to be able to meet their own needs. I can only do two clients a day, if I do that 5 days a week – my energy is drained by the weekend and I will not be able to write anything.
Sure you can sustain this for 6 or 12 months if you have to, but then inevitably you will have depleted yourself and need to take time off to replenish. One of the healers I worked with recently went through this, her prices were dirt cheap. I kept telling her to raise her prices, she kept giving reasons that made no sense at all – why she couldn’t raise her prices and only one or two weeks later she had to close her whole schedule because she had overworked herself. She was forced to take a beak.
Another healer I worked with had to stop the healing session to cover the 200 euro I had just paid her, because she felt uncomfortable having the money in the open and visible as it was while working with me – it triggered her so much she had to cover the money to be able to continue the session.
Even in the people we work with – be it healers, coaches, teachers or readers, there can be internal issues that they have yet still to work through and this can manifest in many different ways which is what this article is about. This is all 3rd and 1st chakra wounding plus a host of fears and false beliefs that are subconsciously affecting their own relationship with money and inherently bleeding through in their professional relationship with you.
Healer, heal thyself – which is sometimes a big thing in the spiritual community as many healers/teachers/coaches and readers are so full of their own healing abilities, they feel they don’t need to work on themselves or can do everything by themselves. Another common theme is swapping healing with another healer, swapping services or bartering in any industry is asking for trouble. It’s just more scarcity and lack thinking because we live in a Universe of unlimited abundance – you can just pay people for their services and work with the people you really want to, instead of saving a buck and only be able to work with the people willing to swap with you.
The Universe will provide you the money, if you learn how to ask for it in the right way. Trust me throughout my Twin Flame journey, I have often spend around $1000 a month or more on working with healers. Do you think I started out having such a big budget to invest in my own healing and growth? Of course not, but investing in my own healing/growth anyway – even if it was money I could barely miss at the time, brought me to a place where I could easily afford to invest more in myself.
Let’s talk marketing first, cause this is how you become a client
Marketing is all about telling a story, but especially online, where everything you have ever said is stored you better be telling the truth – because otherwise you will be caught telling a lie.
For example Cassady Cayne always claims to have worked with thousands of clients. A client introduced me to Cassady’s work in January 2016 and already back then Cassady claimed to have worked with thousands of clients but no longer offered personal sessions.
Cassady started her website in 2015 (the final month of 2014 to be exact, you can check the history of a domain) and so there is no way she could have worked with thousands of clients in one year time, because especially when you just start out, as a website – nobody knows how to find you.
This is the whole reason you need to do online marketing, to let your potential clients know that you are out there and ready to help them fix their problem.
So even if she could have technically served 3 clients a day over 365 days (which is EVERY single day of the year) 3 x 365=1095, as a beginner on the market even when she would have given those sessions for free, she would have had difficulty finding enough people to work with.
This is also why Cassady religiously produces two articles a week, because it is a strategy designed to dominate the search engines such as Google. YouTube is the second largest search engine in the world and so she started making videos to come up higher in the results as well, this is smart marketing because even if you can’t beat your competitors ranking first page – videos are shown at the top of the first page as well, so then you can outrank the competition anyway through video content.
However, you cannot work with 3 clients every day of the year and also write two articles a week, so her story does not add up. It’s a great story of course, but it’s not true. It’s been a marketing story from the beginning to position herself as an expert and lend herself credibility.
In the same way I positioned myself as an online marketing expert at the beginning of this article, except my story is true and can be confirmed online.
Cassady also states in her bio blurp that she is in union, what she doesn’t mention is that her Twin Flame is deceased and was already deceased throughout her lifetime. They have never met in real life. He is a ghost and not a man of flesh and blood. Cassady doesn’t mention this until you buy her online program. Many people buy her digital products, because they believe her when she tells people that she is in union, but this is not the kind of union they had in mind.
Being a Twin Flame myself I understand why we want stories such as Cassady’s above or such as the other example below to be true, especially when you desperately want physical union – you want to believe that others have found the key to what you are struggling with and if they are quick fixes, even better.
Wouldn’t it be wonderful if all you had to do to come into physical union with your Twin Flame, is listen to guided audio tapes? Or learn how to balance your sacral chakra energy which is what the other Twin Flame teacher swears got her into union? If you are in so much pain and someone convincingly tells you all you have to do is buy their products or services and all your problems will be solved, you start to wonder right? Could it be true?
Everyone is looking for a magic pill to fix their problems….
The ability to create CREDIBILITY comes in, exactly at this point and will determine if you buy or not. The more credibility the seller can establish the more people will buy into it. Which we can see in the case of Cassady who has managed to build herself credibility that consists of hot air. Both her story of her experience of working with thousands of clients and her being in union aren’t exactly true – but they sell and that is why she tells these stories.
A client recently sent me this interview of another relatively new and unknown Twin Flame coach who was being interviewed by her marketing coach, this was her story: ‘I tried everything out there and nothing worked, then I met my Twin Flame teacher who is now deceased and her work helped me unite with my Twin Flame. It made me realize how much erroneous information was out there, so I wrote a book about it and people started coming to me for advice, begging me to coach them and now I am a huge success… (last part is what it came down to.)’
This is a marketing bs story, remember my all-time favorite book the Alchemist by Paulo Coelho? – it’s highly likely you love that book as well or at least heard about it. The first time it was published it was an absolute flop, it didn’t sell and it wasn’t a success. This is the truth of the majority of books, but anyway despite her huge success she was only making $800 a month and thanks to her investment in her marketing coach she was now making $20.000 a month.
This particular coach uses strategy sessions, free sessions to create sales to sign people on to her $3300 something individual coaching package and so this whole story she created about herself being an instant success is meant to get people to say yes to her offer. She claims that her deceased teacher has brought thousands of people in union this way, trust me if that were true – word would have spread around by now and everyone would be trying her method! It’s not true, it’s a marketing story that helps sell her $3300 individual coaching package.
My marketing style is vulnerability, which to be honest is a marketing style as well. When used in the wrong way it can become very inauthentic and manipulative too. I have had business coaches of my own get on stage asking if they can be vulnerable with their audience (which is manipulative marketing language) and then roll out some sob story about their drinking problems or self hatred or whatever in such a way that it literally served no one. The only purpose it served was to create the illusion of vulnerability to create TRUST, but underneath you can feel somethings icky and not right.
The reason business owners want to create trust, is because the more people trust you – the sooner they will buy from you. Which is fine, except when you use it in-authentically to manipulate people into buying from you by creating false trust – trust that you don’t actually deserve because it’s fake. A bleeding heart story, for example to create the illusion of vulnerability when the story isn’t true or your reason for sharing it isn’t because you truly want to share the experience and lesson learned – but because you want to make a sale.
For me vulnerability is not an option, anyone who knows me personally knows that I am in real life exactly the same as I am with you here in my articles. I do not do well with chit-chat and once in a psychological assessment in my corporate days the psychologist noted that I tend to want to create deep connection with people, right from the beginning.
Back then it was certainly not a balanced aspect of myself, but now I can share vulnerably and authentically in a balanced way. Looking back, I can see how this personality trait was already a part and preparation of my greater mission, to demystify and create transparency in the Twin Flame union process and create a user manual which ironically used to be what I did in corporate as well.
I used to write users manuals for a complex customer client system in the mobile telecom industry when GSM was first introduced in 1994. <—– This is an example of a marketing story that is true and in fact bridging manuals is my unique talent, both the books I wrote were also ‘How to’ books, one on nutrition and one on relationships. My online program now shows you step by step how to bridge from the 3D reality to the 5D reality and create inner union.
People often underestimate the power of story telling and the use of marketing, they don’t realize how powerful a tool this is to influence potential customers subliminally in order to shift their perception. Grabbing back to Paulo Coelho’s book and many other books that did not become a success on the first publish – often did become a success the second time around because of marketing.
After getting the second publishing contract Paulo Coelho did not rely on the publisher’s marketing alone, but went out everywhere to create publicity for his book. These days many publishers weigh in the author’s own platform in their decision to publish a book or not.
So marketing is not evil, just as money is not evil – you just have to use it with integrity and not use it to tell stories that aren’t true, just because they sell better.
Fear-mongering to get or keep clients and cash flowing
Another way all of the above culminates or bleeds through to you as a client is in the way that people who are in lack and scarcity consciousness or just plain out of integrity market to you or try and control you once you are within their influence or have booked in as a client.
As a child I grew up in the Summit Lighthouse run by Elizabeth Clare Prophet, it was a multi-million dollar organization with extensive grounds, property, a private school from kindergarten to high school, a mystery school university and campus grounds with cafeteria, student and staff housing, printing and publishing company plus hundreds of people on staff to run it all. Yes there were many volunteers, but there were also a lot of people on staff that needed to be paid.
Elizabeth channeled the Ascended Masters in the 70’s, 80’s and a bit of the 90’s, in one of my recent healing sessions I was shown by the Ascended Master Djwal Kuhl (who I was not very familiar with) that as a child I could feel when she was authentically channeling the Ascended Masters and when she was faking it. I was shown the immense pressure she was under that made her decide to bend the truth here and there, to meet expectations but also the financial obligations needed to run such a big organisation.
Despite the fact that Elizabeth was an Ascension teacher herself, she was an incredible fear-mongerer too and also used it to shake money loose from her followers. In the 1990’s under her supervision one of the biggest privately owned nuclear fall out shelters was built in preparation for judgment day in the form of a nuclear apocalypse (aka the end of the world) and it was of course funded by those who believed in her.
As we all know the world, did not end and contrary to many other cults that prepared for the end of the world my fellow classmates, friends, teachers and other members of the church came out of the bunkers alive the next day – but many people had given up their livelihoods, their life savings and more because they bought into the fear programming that had been coming through Elizabeth as ‘Divine teachings‘ from the Ascended Masters. She was quickly diagnosed with Alzheimer’s disease after that and put out of her position in the church.
Having to forgive Elizabeth has been a major part of my journey, as I reluctantly have had to follow in her footsteps as a Twin Flame and Ascension teacher. The more and deeper I step into my own mission, the deeper I have had to forgive her for the things that I was consciously and subconsciously holding against her.
It was after this previous session in which I was shown how she would sometimes fake dictations by the Masters – that I started to notice similar behavior around me in the current day Twin Flame scene. People bending the truth, for their own gain.
Fear-mongering for influence and money
So recently I was reading on another Twin Flame teacher’s blog how you basically can’t trust anyone and that you don’t know the people that you work with online and that if you would meet them in real life, you probably wouldn’t want to work with them at all.
I am critical of some aspects of the Twin Flame scene as well and I certainly agree that not everyone offering services is fit to work with clients, but this is fear-mongering. There are absolutely qualified and very good healers, coaches, readers and teachers out there despite that in fact, the whole Twin Flame sector is unregulated and everyone can set up shop without any qualifications.
What I find very concerning is that this was the same person who until recently was presenting a Keen psychic affiliate program as qualified Twin Flame by her approved advisers which earned her $125 commission per client that she brought in this way – talk about abusing the trust and credibility you have gathered for your own gain.
Since I exposed this practice in a previous article all links have been removed. But the internet also saves old snapshots of your website and so the Wayback Machine provided a screenshot of her advertising this on her website.
Now she writes:
“Even if their faces are right in front of you on a screen. (Me included. I would encourage you *not* to trust me, unless you’ve tried my methods and find them to work – You can get the free guided meditations here to start right now!)
If you actually met some of the bloggers who are writing “galactic updates” or prophecies about the future of Twin Flames and earth, or even those who are desperately reaching out trying to help other Twin Flames – you might think twice before reading their articles or watching their videos.
Not everyone is someone you should trust.
Yes, sometimes a person’s work or writing resonates.
But keep in mind this:
So did religious decrees in the middle ages – people used to believe in witches, that black people didn’t have a soul, that the devil was controlling rock stars to infest people’s minds with evil messages that could only be heard when you played records backwards, that women were incapable of running their own lives (until the late 1970s women weren’t allowed to get a mortgage or their own bank account in the US/UK – their father or husband had to be the registered holder), that placing leeches on the body could cure illnesses … The list goes on. (Note how there are sources for each of these).
Be aware. Guard your mind and emotions from damaging content that could otherwise derail your happiness.“
This is just a small part of a complete rant on why everyone else is deceiving you, except her. And even though she implies that you shouldn’t simply trust her as well – she invites you to find out for yourself by trying her method, which is implicitly asking you to trust her. This is scaring people to go find the help they need on their journey! This is not helping people at all. This only serves to make her own work look superior and discourage people from trying any other methods.
It’s psychological manipulation (she has a degree in psychology) in order to bind people to her out of fear. The world is not a safe space and can’t be trusted, but I am looking out for your safety and well-being is the implicit message being communicated here which makes her last sentence so apt because this is a very damaging thought pattern to be instilling in someone’s subconsciousness. It’s classic root chakra wounding that is being passed on here or worse, willfully used for financial gain.
Notice how the reader is told that they even have to be careful to trust their own judgment, because also when they resonate with someone else’s work, they shouldn’t trust their own feeling of resonance. Because she effortlessly connects this to a slew of negative associations like the oppression of women, black people and other outdated beliefs – meant to install the programming of fear even deeper.
This is someone desperately trying to manipulate and control you through fear, this is not someone who has reached enlightenment herself or inner union because otherwise she would not be creating such separation (‘it’s us against them’ feelings) in her own teachings.
Creating a grip on clients in order to control them
Before we dive into this subject further I need to explain another dynamic, so you understand where someone is coming from when they act in such ways.
This information will help you recognize the red flags that I summarize in the next section even better.
I do believe these are subconscious patterns, that the healer, coach, reader, etc is unaware of in most cases. There are always exceptions to the rule, but I think in most cases these are subconscious programs that they are playing out with their clients. This is also why it is so important to keep working on yourself and making these patterns consciously aware so that you can change them.
This is what you need to know, some spiritual entrepreneurs NEED their clients more than others. Let me explain why.
There are roughly three basic business models used in the Spiritual niche:
- Cheap prices and big audience, with products created once that you can download or work through online – there is no one on one contact
- Cheap prices and weekly or frequent sessions all done in person – so limited to the amount of hours one can work a week – possibly in combination with digital downloads
- Higher prices and more exclusive offerings in person or digital
So in my case people hardly work with me more than 3 or 4 times, this is not so much because my services are relatively high priced but because my sessions work through for months, they are like spiritual Drano and you could not even do weekly sessions with me because your head would be spinning. This is not only what I say about myself, but what clients have confirmed in their testimonials about working with me.
One session with me does what often multiple sessions with other healers do over time, they are just intense and shift things deeply. Which is great, but once someone has worked with me they often need time to integrate everything that has come up in the session. Working with other healers at that time can help them ground and create deeper understanding of what came up in their session with me.
Most healers/coaches/readers need clients on a weekly basis, because their pricing creates the need to work more hours to get the money they need to sustain their business and sustain themselves. These type of spiritual entrepreneurs need their clients much more than for example I need mine. They have many more time slots that need to be filled, so they can’t afford a client not coming back – their business model only works with repeat customers.
I need clients as well of course, because otherwise as I have shown you I would literally not be able to afford writing and sharing articles such as these. I need at least three clients a month only to cover my business costs and so on. With three clients a month I haven’t earned anything yet. I have only managed to cover my costs. But I don’t need to make sure my clients come back to me next week. If they liked working with me and they want to come again, great if the one session was enough – that’s perfect too.
But this is exactly the pain spot for many spiritual entrepreneurs where things start getting murky and that out of their own subconscious fears and false beliefs around money, they try to get a grip on you the client, because they need you to meet their monthly revenue goals.
What this potentially looks like I will now walk you through in the next section.
Recognizing the red flags of control and manipulation
If a teacher, coach, healer or reader says anything of the things below these are RED FLAGS that this person is trying to manipulate or control you.
Red Flag #1
You should not work with other people if you work with me (number 1 control mechanism). This is someone who is afraid of the competition, other variants of this are telling you that you are getting too much healing (trust me there is no such thing) and this person is especially bad news if they tell you that someone else’s healing harmed you or undid their work. That is a person trapped in ego. They are trying to take out the competition by making you believe the other person is not a good healer, reader or coach.
The truth is that every healer has their own unique gifts and working with multiple healers at once can speed up breakthroughs, the overall process and create a deeper understanding of yourself and or the issue you are working on.
It’s a good thing to work with multiple healers, because it allows you to address your blocks from different angles and in the different bodies (mental/emotional/vibrational/physical).
Red Flag #2
My teachings are the only true teachings (cult alert) especially if its channeled work, my example of Elizabeth and her channeling of the Ascended Masters is a perfect example. I understand the reason why people want to claim this, but this is what has started religious wars throughout the ages. Do you ever stop to realize that the God of the Jews, the Christians and the Muslims is one and the same God?
They are just three different paths to the same destination and true seekers of the TRUTH are always led by the Divine to their own unique path of understanding – so it’s just control and arrogance to claim you are the ONLY keeper of truth.
Red Flag #3
Binding contracts to either commit to a certain time-frame and payment for coaching or contracts that limit you in talking about your work with said healer/coach/reader. Do not sign any contracts in a client to company situation. Contracts certainly have a place in business, but not to bind your clients to you other than paying you what they owe you like an installment plan, but definitely not to legally bind them to coming back as a client on a regular basis.
The client that shared this with me was asked to pay $333 a month for individual coaching, the current price this Twin Flame coach charges now is $888 a month. When the client said she could only afford $150 a month the coach locked her in on this price for 12 months – her contract expires next year in Spring. These are not strategies to benefit the client, they are strategies to benefit the business owner.
You don’t need weekly Twin Flame coaching, because it only creates dependency. They need your repeating business and that is why they are trying to corner you with a contract.
Red Flag #4
Confusing you and making you doubt you can trust your own inner guidance (creating cash cows). There is no better way to create a cash cow than to teach someone that they can’t trust themselves and they need you to tell them right from wrong.If your healer/coach/reader is investing a lot of time in implying to you that you are wrong and that their way of seeing this is right, they are priming you to become a cash cow.
Don’t get me wrong, sometimes in coaching sessions I also tell my clients they are wrong and that they can actually survive celibacy without having sex every now and then, to unclog their root chakra. That loveless sex is worse for their chakra system, then no sex at all.
What I mean is someone who is structurally telling you that you are wrong and that you don’t know what you are talking about. Someone who is causing you to doubt yourself and your own judgment over and over again.
Red Flag #5
Fear-mongering you to do as they say otherwise you will not come into union…. or any other threat. I don’t know how often I have heard this from clients being said to them by healers, coaches and readers. Even really BIG names out there have been known to use this tactic.
It’s all one big heap of BS. Listen up, you cannot screw up union because it is an internal process within you that culminates eventually in the outer reflection of a physical union with your Twin Flame or someone better – whatever the soul chose for this lifetime.
Even if you would go on a f*ck marathon, it won’t affect your union because union takes place inside of you, that f*ck marathon may be exactly what you need to remember or reconcile with a past life experience that is coming up for healing.
Even the best psychics don’t see everything. They are not all mighty, they can see certain things and other things can be blocked for them because the soul doesn’t want you to know yet. Other’s are not privy to your soul’s plan, the way you are and people claiming they are or using the ‘you won’t come into union unless you listen to me‘ card only do so in order to control you of course. It’s an ego trip.
You can temporarily misalign yourself to the outcome you want, I had an Indian girl as client once who smoked pot which she of course would not be able to do if she were to marry who she believed to be her Twin Flame and would move in with his traditional Indian parents. There was simply no way she would be able to continue using drugs and be together with this man and she knew it, which meant that she had to tackle her addiction. Life takes care of these things, herself we don’t need to interfere.
Red Flag #6
Creating dependency and encouraging idolization, to keep you coming back (cash cow tactic #2). Many people on this journey are in immense pain, they are at a very vulnerable time in their lives and can feel immensely confused. This confusion is only added to because their old life is crumbling away beneath them (3D), as they are being moved into a new state of consciousness and state of being (5D) that is very unfamiliar and does not feel safe yet. It can feel very scary being in such a transition and can leave you often doubting your own sanity.
It’s very easy to make such a person dependent on you and idolize you, but that is doing them a disservice. It may be very interesting for your own ego, but as way-showers on this path it is our duty to empower the people we work with not make them dependent on us and make us feel like mortal Gods. We are meant to help lead them, to their own God realization within, not externalize that concept and project it on us.
Red Flag #7
Stroking your ego and manipulating you to create a sale. If a healer/coach/reader starts blowing smoke up your ass, you better start wondering why. Often this is a manipulation strategy to create a sale. This can be done two ways, either scare the sh*t out of someone and scare them into believing they need to work with you or strategy number 2 – telling them what they want to hear and creating pseudo friendships.
It is never a good idea to become friends with your clients, occasionally over a long period of time true friendships do form naturally – however while you are working with someone professionally it’s best to keep a professional distance because the more involved one becomes with their client – the more difficult it becomes to hold space for them in the way you need to objectively or to be able to call them out on their internal stuff.
As a coach it’s your job to call your clients out on their internal stuff, as a friend this becomes a delicate and touchy area and can easily be seen as a personal attack because of the very different dynamics within the relationship. As a professional you need to keep your distance, but as a client you should also ask yourself if you want to make these relationships become less effective by wanting to be friends with the people you work with.
Red Flag #8
Using your personal fears and weak spots to manipulate and control you, if you stop working with me… you will never reach union. If you stop working with me, you will get sick and so on. If someone you work with still has a lot of solar plexus wounding, you can count on it that they will use your fears and weak spots against you.
Even if it is completely subconscious, their desire to dominate others will rear its ugly head and pretty much like a narcissistic partner, they will use everything to get you to heel (not heal) – they want you to yield and obey them and so they will come with guns a blazing to achieve this. Treat them the same as a toxic partner, disengage completely and move them out of your life.
Red Flag #9
Undermining you as a person or acting as if they are better or more advanced than you (massive ego alert!) Actually a healer that I worked with until recently, did this 3 times, the first two times I wasn’t quite sure as this person had presented herself to be so evolved and far along in her journey (I should have known it was all smoke and mirrors because she had done all her healing herself).But the third time was absolutely condescending which really was GAME OVER for me. I had shared with her a very ‘out there’ past life that was really outside of my comfort zone. Her response to me was: ‘It sounds like you are making the paradigm shift I have been waiting for you to make…
‘Wait, do I get a treat now for being such a good girl?!
As healers/readers/coaches we don’t know how evolved or not our clients are and we have no right to talk down to them or feel superior to them because of our vocation. Being a spiritual entrepreneur does not make us better than the rest, if anything it is a place of humble service to the world through using our Divine gifts to help others.
This is the danger of this kind of smoke and mirrors healing, because people who think they can heal themselves get caught in their own ego trappings – because there is literally no one in their life calling them out on their internal stuff. They can keep going in circles believing they are Ascended Masters walking the earth, when in fact they are just caught up in their own illusions and delusions. This experience really opened my eyes to people pretending to be something they are not.
Go out to find the healing you need, it’s so worth it!
The above description of healers, readers and coaches are exceptions to the rule and you should not let negative experiences as such, derail you from your own healing path.
The world is filled with gifted healers, readers and coaches out there that can help you move forward or make quantum leaps on your Twin Flame and Ascension journey. Every industry has shady people working in it, that is no reason to give up all hope or to decide you will just do this all on your own. Because you can’t, the healing that needs to be done on this journey goes so deep and is so complex that you will inevitably need someone else to help you, past your own blind-spots. I am not saying this as a negative or subjective belief, but from extensive experience as a client and working as a healer and coach with my own clients.
One of the new healers that I have just started working with recently, called me this week to tell me I didn’t need to do so much healing. I just needed to realize I am perfect already, she had seen my true soul and I am so sweet and full of love (blowing smoke up my ass). It was in response to me visiting a shaman who is specialized in releasing pain and trauma from the ‘painbody‘ a term coined by Eckhart Tolle.
‘The painbody is an accumulation of painful life experience that was not fully faced and accepted in the moment it arose. It leaves behind an energy form of emotional pain. It comes together with other energy forms from other instances, and so after some years you have a “painbody,” an energy entity consisting of old emotion.‘
The healer that called me was totally triggered by my visit to the shaman, because she said she could also pound on my body and make it hurt – I didn’t need to go somewhere else for that.
In my own work I also work with releasing pain from the painbody, but more on a mental, emotional and vibrational level. This man, the shaman is specialized in releasing it from the physical body and above all – getting out the root patterns that cause it. The survival patterns and coping mechanisms that were created in the physical body through trauma and shock. This wasn’t simply about releasing trauma from the body, which this other healer was capable of too – this was about eradicating the whole underlying patterning on a cellular level.
I will be honest, it did hurt like hell. I stayed in bed the next day because I was in so much pain. But after that I felt fantastic and a few days later I made a gigantic past life breakthrough that put a lot of pieces of the puzzle back together and really gave me a deeper understanding of who I am on a soul level and what I have come to do in this lifetime.
Which made me realize if I had listened to people such as the healer above and there have been many like her in the past, I would not be where I am now. If my twin would have already been with me I would have not understood the necessity to dig deeper perhaps and he might have not understood my continuous work on my healing – I would have never been able to show up as the higher expression of myself in a relationship with him, if I had not taken the time and the effort to really get to know myself on all levels, including a soul level.
Ascension is a self-driven process – nobody will do it for you, but there are many beautiful souls along the way that can help and support you. The healer being upset about me seeing the shaman, gave me an extremely important piece of the puzzle. She had no idea what she was saying because she didn’t even know what the term was, but she told me she saw a heavy stone pressing on my heart she called it the stone of the wise in Dutch not understanding the meaning – but the ‘Steen der WIjzen’ in Dutch is the Philosopher’s stone in Alchemy in English, it’s the alchemical agent needed to transform base metal into gold.
In the breakthrough past life soul retrieval, I had a couple of days later, we saw that as an Alchemist in ancient Egypt someone close to me had stabbed me in my heart grabbing me by my right shoulder (the shoulder that gave me so much pain with the shaman), as they plunged a dagger with full force deep into my heart. The person seemed to be my sister and therefor it was a stab in the heart both literally as figuratively. She had been blinded by the creation of gold, not understanding that it was only a byproduct of a deep much inner transformation within me. As soon as I successfully created the philosopher’s stone, she killed me to pretend that she was the one that created this great work, the Magnum Opus which is what it is called in the world of Alchemy.
Without realizing it the healer had given me an important clue, because it was literally the knowledge of the philosopher’s stone that was weighing down on my heart. It was what got me murdered in a previous lifetime. Working with a regular psychologist who uses the brainspotting technique and a garden metaphor, I had uncovered that I had a survival pattern of feeling unsafe and trying to protect my back. I laid out a garden outlay that had holes in it and left me forced with my back in a corner so that I could keep an eye on all these open places within my 180 degree visional field – which is in no way representative for how I feel today in my own life – yet subconsciously it was.
This was also exactly the survival pattern that popped up in the session with the shaman and of course if your subconscious mind has a past life memory such as the one described, it’s easy to see where this pattern of unsafety came from. I still had the knowledge of the philosopher’s stone within me because this is how these things work:
Every gift we attain and all the soul knowledge we gain is never lost – we hold it in us subconsciously.
Except in this case I had the false belief and fear that this knowledge was going to be the end of me. In fact shortly before it started surfacing I was facing all kinds of root chakra stuff (safety) I skipped my period and I even packed on a couple of kilos weight out of nowhere. There was so much fear of survival around facing this deep subconscious past life wounding.
About a week before the session with the shaman I had a severe vomit session out of nowhere, it lasted around 30 minutes and I wasn’t even throwing up food as much as just gagging deeply. It was as if something deep emotional wanted to be released within me. I had one of my friends and healers on the speaker phone and I just thought I might have poisoned myself accidentally with an essential oil that has a high toxicity grade.
Sandra tuning in with me, saw how the Kundalini was rising and all the chakras on my back were being activated and that I was accessing deep ancient knowledge within me. I was just burping, gagging and throwing up in the toilet. My mom who walked in at that moment was instructed to rub my back down with celtic salt, which she did and just as quickly as it had all come up – it went away.
Later another friend told me about the diaphragm chakra (also known as the vomit chakra) coming online in such violent ways, as we expand into a higher chakra system above the main seven that we are familiar with.
‘DIAPHRAGM – At the level of the physical diaphragm muscle, just above the Solar Plexus,
COLOUR Olive Green
The Diaphragm Chakra provides for clearing and detoxification of any obstructions to the fulfillment of one’s life purpose.
- This is a cleansing of the entire hara line and can be quite intense, deep emotional purging. Indeed it is sometimes referred to as the ‘vomit’ chakra!
- The process is ultimately positive, but may not seem so at the time. Go through it by simply allowing it to happen. Watch the sensations and let them go, not fighting, resisting, or trying to change them. Welcome the clearing and send love.’
Another site states that:
‘This chakra is regulated by your heart centre and located just above your navel between your solar plexus and heart in the area where your emotional memory system is currently located.
It is also here that your “rejuvenated prana” (breath energy) resides which revitalizes and purifies your body.’
In the Alchemy tradition the philosopher’s stone is often equated with the elixir of life that grants the drinker eternal youth and eternal life. This could very well be the diaphragm chakra coming online, unlocking your rejuvenated prana which revitalizes and purifies your body. Unlocking it and working on opening my heart chakra fully must have triggered the past life trauma, of being at this level of spiritual development before and it ending badly.
Also this line is interesting: ‘The Diaphragm Chakra provides for clearing and detoxification of any obstructions to the fulfillment of one’s life purpose.’ Because after the vomit session I got extremely clear on my mission, I made a diagram showing every aspect of my mission and what I am here to create.
I realized that instead of leaving the Twin Flame aspect behind me, I needed to bring it up to a higher level in order to bring it in line with the rest of my work. This meant a complete rethink of my positioning and who I am talking to and I realized that before I was talking to everyone who believed they were on the Twin Flame path, but many of them weren’t interested in what I had to say because they only wanted physical union (like my sister in the past life only wanted the gold). These people weren’t interested in the inner union process, because all they wanted was their gold – the twin.
So I decided that I only want to work with true Twin Flames, because these are the people who recognize on a soul level the truth of this journey and that it’s about much more than coming into a physical romantic relationship with someone. As I was rewriting everything from this different perspective, Alchemy kept coming through deeper and deeper – because apparently it is so closely knit with my life’s purpose.
You see the process of inner union and creating gold are EXACTLY the same, because it describes the same inner transformation – they are both a deeply alchemical process that create inner union and enlightenment.
The gold or the physical relationship with the twin are mere byproducts of this inner transformation. Even the imagery is the same, this image on the right is how the individual who has accomplished the great work, the Magnum Opus is depicted. Doesn’t this image look like it could be about Twin Flames? Twin Flames before the original split, or the inner union of the Divine masculine and the Divine feminine in oneself.
Seeing alchemy come through in my marketing in such a way made me wonder if I had past life affinity with this subject, which was confirmed later in the past life session. However don’t think the integration of such past lives are easy. I have had to tell myself that it is safe now to be owner of this knowledge. And I have had to reclaim this knowledge as my own, yet for the past three nights since the past life regression I woke up in fear, sweating, feeling terrible as my body and chakras are releasing this deeply repressed trauma and fear. I feel immense pressure in my heart and on the back of my heart chakra, as it is being broken open after being shut down for eons.
I am very grateful to have my mother close to me, to take care of me when things are really tough. After the shaman I couldn’t walk, it was so painful and so my mom brought me my meals in bed. How could you do this kind of work with your Twin Flame by your side? It’s close to impossible, Knowing my twin, he would shudder at the thought of me suffering. I did Karwa Chauth for him (a very long fast from sun up to moonrise) years ago when he was still single and he was honored yet, also very concerned for me because he hated the idea of me suffering. If he were here he would plead for me to not do this. He would say you have gone far enough, but the one thing that this whole recent turn of events showed me is that:
Until you know who you are on a soul level, you can only show up as fragmented parts of yourself in your relationship with your Divine counterpart – your Twin Flame. As long as you are fragmented within, you will inevitably subconsciously project this fragmentation onto your partner. Which doesn’t have to be bad, but certainly requires diligent inner work as a couple.
The perfection of our soul’s journey and soul plan
In my situation it’s ironic, I have nothing left to lose. My twin is not only married, he just buried himself alive by having a child – which in any other occasion would be a joyous event except when you are acutely aware of the fact that you are living the life of your dreams with the wrong person. That doesn’t take away from the fact that my twin’s son is utterly adorable and he is truly trying his best to make it work for him and his wife and child.
A couple of sessions back in a session with my favorite healer Ellen (I have been working with her for over 20 years) she said this at the beginning of our session. She was channeling the energies that wanted to come through and she said ‘Now, that you have nothing left to lose you might as well face it.’ We both had no idea back then what it meant, but I know now that it was a metaphor for Now, that you have nothing left to lose you might as well face your own death (trauma around death), Yet at the same time, this death is my rebirth as it has unlocked my soul’s purpose even deeper and brought in the ancient knowledge that I need to fulfill my mission,
There was so much fear inside of me of re-owning this ancient knowledge that I had so deeply disowned within myself that my soul and my twin’s soul knew this would be the ONLY way to get me to face it. As I am writing this the tears are streaming down my face, because I understand fully now why every part of our journey had to be the way it was.
Because this wasn’t of course about my physical death, but my ego death and once again claiming my spiritual power. I have died over a thousand times and then some, the trauma wasn’t around dying, the trauma was around being able to hold spiritual energy which has come up for the third time in three different past lives – so that is what we will look into next.
That’s also what I have learned about this journey, it’s not so much about healing yourself because you are sick or broken. It’s about liberating yourself from all the subconscious fears and false beliefs that have kept you throughout the ages from absolutely living your soul truth in the physical world. As I have illustrated in my own story, it takes a legion of people and supporters to get you there and the will to push on even when others try to tell you – you have gone far enough. Listen to your own inner guidance, because other people don’t know better than your soul, even if they like to think they do.
Your soul knows, where it wants to take you – trust it, it knows the way back home perfectly.
I pray this article serves you and helps you find the people you need in your own personal journey and will help you identify those people even when they mean well – who you have outgrown. Be grateful for what they have contributed to your journey and forgive them for where they may have been stuck in their own fears and false beliefs.
If you are interested and excited to know how I can help you in this process, check out my Akashic Record Clearings to release deep pain and trauma (including fears and false beliefs) or join my Tribe & program in which I share step by step how to come into inner union.
Sending you love and light on your Ascension path and Divine partnership journey, you are forever protected and guided. All is well.
If this article resonates with you please share it abundantly. Thank you.
Lots of love,