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This is Part I of a two part series on how to deal with your Twin Flame not responding to contact, you can read Part I here. In this article I show you ALL the ways that will not work to come into union with your twin. You can read Part II here.
Are you being ghosted by your twin?
You probably need to know first what ghosting means. Ghosting is a relative new dating term referring to the practice of ending a personal relationship with someone by suddenly and without explanation withdrawing from all communication.
If you are in a 3D relationship, this means the relationship is over or that you might get a booty call a couple of weeks or months later. Either way, this is not a person that you want to be in an intimate relationship with because they don’t really care about you or your feelings.
In a Twin Flame relationship ghosting happens a lot, but between twins it does NOT have the same meaning as it does in 3D relationships. When a twin ghosts you, it is not meant to end the relationship (heads up! Twins don’t booty call), it certainly doesn’t mean they don’t care about you or your feelings anymore. Twins ghost out of overwhelm, fear and more often then not repelling energy.
Chances are if you ask your twin, why they keep disappearing on you like they do – they won’t know why and that is not a cop out. They most likely don’t understand themselves why they keep running out on you, when you are THE BEST thing that ever happened to them. They might not show it by their behavior, but they can’t shake you, just as much as you have not been able to shake them.
The truth is that your souls (your soul and your twin’s soul) use closeness and distance to bring up the wounds that need to be healed and the growth that needs to happen for you two to be able to handle being together 24/7. That’s also why twins don’t have loads of sex, because the sexual energy will bring up their inner sh*t too fast and cause meltdowns between the couple.
What you need to understand when your twin starts ghosting you, is that the Universe or better your souls, are giving you both a little breather so you can clear up your own inner gunk and sludge and reconnect at a much deeper level. If this is the first time your twin went MIA (missing in action) on you, it might be hard to believe he or she will ever come back…
But trust me if this is your TRUE twin flame (and here is a foolproof way to get confirmation from the Universe) then he or she will come back in your life again (yes, in this lifetime!). They have no choice – at some point they will just rubber band back to you, because you two are connected at the heart by a golden thread that is indestructible. No one can sever you from each other (not even yourselves). You are connected together throughout eternity, you always come back to each other.
It might feel like it’s over now, but actually your adventure has only just begun.
It’s what you do now that will decide if you keep looping back into pain or brave the hot coals of separation to the other side – where Twin Flame union is your manifested reality.
If you stay stuck in the behaviors I describe below, you will STAY STUCK where you are now. The reason I went to so much trouble to really describe them to you, is because these are often subconscious patterns you are not consciously aware of acting out. In this first week I want you to really identify all the things you do that DON’T work and then next week I will give you some 5D behaviors that DO work – so be sure to check back in next week.
Using any of these 3D tactics won’t get your twin to come back
If this was a 3D relationship any of the below tactics might get you results or if it is really over the door slammed shut in your face. In a Twin Flame relationship none of this stuff will work and it will only repel your twin more and more. The reason this stuff doesn’t work on your Twin Flame, is because it’s all ego based which has no room in a twin relationship.
If you are doing any of the below and you are truly dealing with a Twin Flame partner, they will either ignore you some more or not take it personally when you lash out depending on where you both are on your journey. If all hell breaks loose and who you think is your twin becomes verbally abusive with you, you are probably mistaking a toxic relationship for a Twin Flame connection. Your twin knows how frustrating it is to love someone so much and not be able to connect with them fully in the way you want, because your Twin Flame feels that exact same frustration.
But even when your twin let’s manipulative and controlling behavior on your side slide, you will KEEP GOING IN CIRCLES until you snap out of the 3D way of doing love & romance. It will NEVER lead you to Twin Flame union – it can’t cause it’s fear based. Most of these behaviors are either coming from your own fear of loss or trying to trigger fear of loss in the other, in an attempt to make them not want to lose you.
Fear based love does not resonate on the same vibrational frequency as Twin Flame union, because the union between twins vibrates at the frequency of unconditional love. Fear is a much lower frequency, so as long as you engage in fear based behavior you keep yourself out of alignment to the frequency of unconditional love (and your own union).
Let’s dive into some of the behaviors that you need to check at the door if you want to create Twin Flame union as a physical reality.
Provoking them by sending angry texts
Sending angry texts will not get your twin to come back or engage. They will most likely just allow you to go ballistic on them and then won’t respond. If you really cross the line, they might block you but usually they will just understand why you are pissed as hell and support you.
I remember just before I left for India someone tried to warn me that my twin had been seeing someone else which my twin also confessed to me when we were together in India. It was an extremely confusing time because my twin and I had just again expressed our feelings for each other after him running and me chasing him for about 12 months and then he just disappeared on me some more and refused to talk to me even though he knew I was coming to India in a few weeks.
That day I was angry with him for 12 hours and I ranted at him with angry texts throughout that whole day. It was like all the pent up anger and frustration of the past 14 months came out and I unleashed it on him. He didn’t block me, he made sure he read every message I sent within less then five minutes time and he stuck with me the whole day – making reading my angry texts his top priority. He was owner of a big web design company back then, but that day nothing was more important to him than what I had to say. After 12 hours it hit me, only someone who really loved me would stick with me through a storm like this. He didn’t respond, but he showed me without a doubt how important I was to him. Anyone else would have either sent angry texts back or disengaged by blocking the texts, my twin took the storm and stayed close to me.
It showed me my twin loved me, yet he didn’t talk to me until I was actually in India a couple of weeks later.
Pulling on their heart and guilt strings by sending sad texts
Another tactic often used is sending sad texts to make your twin feel guilty, even if that is not your intention it’s how you make them feel. I have done it all so I know what I am talking about. At one point I sent my twin a voice text crying (not on purpose of course but out of utter frustration) that I just wished that there was a way to make things work between us. He immediately sent me a voice clip back with his voice breaking – that he was sorry to make me feel this way and after that only silence. He knew that his keeping himself away from me, was hard on me and he wanted to let me know it wasn’t what he wanted either and that he was hurting too.
But it didn’t change the root cause of our problems, it just reassured me that he wasn’t doing it because he didn’t care about me.
One of my clients has made it an art to send sad texts to her twin and to make him feel guilty. The thing is when you do this and especially when you do it a lot, you start to become like a ball and chain to your twin. You become an obligation, another duty to fulfill. It’s basically the equivalent of nagging.
If your Twin Flame is a guy there is something you really need to understand about guys. There is NOTHING more important to a man, than to make his woman happy. There is also nothing that makes a man feel more emasculated as his woman being sad, especially if she chronically feels sad or let down by him. No man wants to be close to someone, who makes him feel less of a man. But the thing is, happiness is an inside job – the more happy you are the more you become a magnet for all good things in life, including the attention of your twin.
Trying to seduce them by being funny, sweet or sexy
At some point you are just so desperate to get back in contact you might go for seduction in various ways, this does not work either.
There is nothing you can do to earn their love or to get your twin to love you more (they already love you unconditionally).
Honestly my twin loved me sharing my life with him and read every word I wrote him. Even when he said nothing back, he loved me keeping him in the loop of what was going on in my life. When I was in India he knew everything about me, because I had kept sharing with him even though he had pulled up a wall to keep me at a distance. My behavior was perfect for him, he got to keep me away and stay close at the same time. In other words my fear of losing him, was enabling him to keep his distance while I bridged every gap. Which in essence was very co-dependent behavior on my side.
I am not saying to never ever contact your twin again, I am asking you to really look at what motivates you. My twin once joked that if he ran too far, I now knew how to get him back after he had undressed me through Whatsapp which he had NEVER done before and no matter how much he loved seeing my naked body after almost 1,5 years since the first time he had ever seen me naked. When he ran again after I came back from India, not even a very tanned topless pic of me could get him talking again. It got him sitting on his phone jumping to see if I would really send the pic and he probably adored seeing my half naked body after he had not been able to touch me for nine months, but it did not break his silence and honestly I would have given him hell if it had.
Trying to push their buttons by making them jealous
Another favorite is trying to make your Twin Flame jealous. What are you posting on Facebook and Instagram to help your twin realize that you are a great catch and if they aren’t interested somebody else is?
They already know this – and they adore you.
Your twin is not, not being with you at the moment because they aren’t into you, trust me they are – you are their EXACT type. They are not maybe with someone else at this moment because they love that other person more, find them sexier or think that other person is better than you. They even know they are settling when they are not with you. Remember my twin was seeing someone else before I came to India, when he told me about her he said I don’t have the deep connection with her that I have with you. She is not a big part of my life he said and in fact when I was there she actually got engaged to someone else.
You have to understand that if your twin is not with you at this moment or with someone else, that this is because the Twin Flame journey is meant to be so much more than a romantic love relationship. Download the free Inner Union Soul Alchemy manuscript to find out why this is not just another ‘boy meets girl’ (or other variation) love story, but a Divine mission.
If your twin is with someone else, then that person is there to serve your union even if you cannot see that yet. They are teaching your twin lessons, that they simply cannot learn with you and that is fine because they will leave your twins life as soon as the lesson is learned and you stay in your twin’s life and heart no matter what (even if there are breaks in 3D, the 5D connection between twins is never lost).
One of the few times my twin texted me by himself without a prompt from my side was when he knew I had a male friend over for dinner. I had texted my twin that a friend was coming over for dinner and to help assemble a drawer for my daughter and that I was cooking Indian food for him. It never crossed my mind that my twin would feel jealous because I thought he knew I was dead serious about saving myself for him and this was back in the day that he was still trying to figure out, why I loved him when he felt he was just another guy I had met online.
So around 20:30 my time and past midnight for my twin he texted me that he couldn’t sleep, because everything I had said kept going through his mind. We were in baby talk back then, as I had felt a baby soul between us and he kept coming closer and closer the more I told him what I was experiencing. He then asked to see me, to send a recent pic of myself. It was a weird conversation in which he just wanted to reassure himself that he came first and to check how I would react to him now that there was a guy with me.
But even though that got him in pursuit of me, although I had not even had the intention of making him feel insecure about the place he has in my heart – it didn’t last of course. Before I knew it, my texts remained unanswered as the running started again.
Giving them the cold shoulder to make them want you
Ignoring them back in order to trigger their fear of loss, also doesn’t work of course. Any guy that comes after you because you give him the cold shoulder is not worth having and the same applies to a woman who needs a cold shoulder to become interested.
These are all just games not worth playing.
Plus its the epitome of conditional love – if you don’t give me what I want – I will pull back my love from you. I’ll turn cold on you. I’ll let you feel what it’s like to feel unloved. It’s very controlling behavior and it doesn’t belong in a Twin Flame connection.
It might feel like your twin is giving you the cold shoulder, but they are not ignoring you just to get you to eat out of their hand. This is where the repelling energy comes in, if for example a childhood wound is being triggered in you or a past life – it might even be the runner past life, this is a past life so traumatic that till this day it triggers your twin. This wounded energy is actually what creates the distance, so you have time to address what is going on.
In our case in the runner past life my twin was almost twice my age, married and father of five. I was twenty six when our affair started and it lasted three years until one night his wife caught us and in a blind rage killed me. My twin decided then and there that it was his fault that I had died and that it was his love for me that killed me. He also told himself, that if he would have stayed away from me – I would still be alive.
In this life we are all three back in a different formation, but his past life wife is in this life a very important family member to him. It won’t surprise you that he has tried his best to stay away from me in this life, because as soon as he fell in love with me (which was like 2 hours into our first phone call) this past life memory was triggered and the running started.
Setting ultimatums (boundaries) to make them fear losing you
Now this was my expertise, setting ultimatums and guess what? Shocker! It DOES NOT work.
So basically what you are doing when you set an ultimatum or as some twins love to call them boundaries is trigger their fear of loss. But it is of course also very controlling. It’s the ultimate my way or the highway and when you do it with your twin, you ain’t gonna get your way.
You will get the sound of crickets chirping…..
That or your twin will just let it slide and understand that he or she is frustrating the hell out of you. Like one of my clients, who thought she was setting healthy boundaries because she felt her twin was holding her on a leash and controlling her by not coming close as quickly as SHE wanted it to happen. I made her see that she was actually the one being controlling, by trying to force him to come closer quicker. When she apologized to her twin, he fully understood her frustration and re-affirmed how committed he was to making it work between them.
Twin Flame union comes in Divine timing, not your time – even when you think it should have already been here ages ago. Your souls know what they are doing.
Prompting them because you think that they will otherwise never contact you
I see a lot of Divine feminines do this, prompting their twin because they are afraid that if they don’t keep the contact going their twin will never reach out by themselves.
It’s again fear of loss and seeking 3D confirmation that makes (mostly) female twins do this. I have done it myself as well. Look even texting your twin for all the wrong reasons, is not ALL bad. As you can see in the examples I shared, it can bring you closer and it can be very valuable. But ONE THING it will never do is lead to Twin Flame union. As long as you engage in this behavior, like I said before – you will keep going in circles because it keeps you stuck in fear based love and where love is fear based – there can be NO Twin Flame union. The two energies are mutually exclusive.
So if you want to come closer to a and they lived happily ever after with your twin – you have to stop engaging in the above behavior and start going full throttle on the behavior I describe in part two of this article.
If you want to clear the runner life from your Akashic records, I can help you with that in an Extended Twin Flame Reunion journey where we dive into your past lives to see how they are bleeding through in your current day reality – and keeping you out of Twin Flame union.
Sending you love and light on your Ascension path and Divine partnership journey, you are forever protected and guided. All is well.
Lots of love,
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