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What does healing even mean?
Healing or inner work tends to stir up a lot of confusion, because what does it mean to heal on a mental, emotional and spiritual level? On a physical level it’s quite clear what healing means because, it’s generally when we no longer have a physical problem that we know that it is healed, like a wound or a broken bone. It becomes a little more complex with more complicated illnesses that affect our organs for example, but in general we know we are healed physically when the physical problem that we had is no longer there.
This actually pretty much applies to mental, emotional and spiritual healing as well, except that there are two problems here. The first is that mental, emotional or spiritual wounds aren’t always visible on the outside, granted they often when left to fester create physical symptoms and disease but often the link between the one and the other aren’t easily recognized as such. This is slowly changing, but still modern science like to pretend that things are not as interconnected as they are. The other problem is that we have often deeply repressed or disowned these wounds, because they were so painful – meaning we aren’t consciously aware of them being there to begin with.
Which doesn’t actually make them go away, but simply forces them underground into your subconscious where they become the attraction point for the people, experiences and situations that you attract in your life in an attempt to heal them once and for all.
The subconscious mind creates our reality
When we are talking about healing on a mental. emotional and a spiritual level, our biggest wounds stem from a misinterpretation of our experience (reality). These misinterpretations which become traumas are always based on false beliefs or fears that we still hold to be true in our subconscious mind.
“Until you make the unconscious conscious,
it will direct your life and you will call it fate.”
It is important to understand that the conscious creation of our lives is ONLY possible to about 5% maximum, the other 95% of what dictates our life experiences are what we believe and hold to be true subconsciously.
Our subconscious mind is INFINETLY more powerful than our conscious mind and so any conflict in beliefs between the conscious and the subconscious, is overwritten by the subconscious belief whether that belief is TRUE or not.
We can say that the majority if not all of our healing work revolves around releasing outdated beliefs that no longer serve us.
Beliefs that limit our expression of our true selves, on a soul level.
You have to understand that every aspect of your life as you experience it, has been created primarily (95%) by your subconscious belief systems*. Your belief systems dictate how much money you earn, if you are wealthy or poor, if you are healthy or sick, if you are happy or depressed, what your love life looks like, what your sex life looks like, where you live and so on. Every aspect of your life is a DIRECT result of your internal belief system.
Therefore if your live is broken in any way, the cure is to fix (heal) the underlying belief system.
*‘Belief systems are the stories we tell ourselves to define our personal sense of Reality. Every human being has a belief system that they utilize, and it is through this mechanism that we individually, “make sense” of the world around us.’ Source: SpringerLink
How did those belief systems get there?
To answer this question we need to look at two aspects, how belief systems are programmed and where that programming comes from. Let’s first look at how they are programmed:
‘A human brain works on ‘thought patterns’, which are nothing but ‘programming’ that has been indented into its neural network. You can easily observe a definite “pattern” in some of the thoughts that are produced in the brain.
The problem with subconscious patterns, is that you take it for granted and believe that it’s the truth of who you are. However, the truth is that “subconscious” patterns are simply thought patterns that have been thought so many times that they’ve become ingrained as an “auto” mode of functioning.
These subconscious patterns are always running in “auto” mode in the brain. This is because at some point you took these patterns to be the truth of your life and invested belief in them to the point where they became “ingrained” patterns.
When you think a thought long enough, it automatically goes into “auto” mode because the neural pathways for this thought become strongly embedded in the neural network of your brain.’ Source: Calmdownmind.com
Now that we know how they get ‘there’, let’s look at where our belief systems come from:
Our belief systems stem from our childhood and current life influences such as family, school, religion, culture, society and media/internet. These are all influences that have programmed us to think in a certain way which dictates how we perceive our reality.
Trauma itself alters our perception of reality, so if you have experienced trauma in any way it will have impacted your belief system.
We also bring in with us unresolved trauma from previous lifetimes (this is our actual karma) in an attempt to heal it this time around. Similarly, we ‘inherited’ trauma from our maternal and paternal ancestral lineage to help our family lineage release it once and for all.
This all leads to a host of subconscious beliefs that actual don’t serve us and keep us from truly being who we are meant to be. In fact most people are ONLY living their unresolved pain and trauma, which is at the core of their current life drama. They are simply rehashing the past in their current day reality, without being able to see that they suffer needlessly.
Why healing is important on the Twin Flame journey
Healing is IMPORTANT for EVERYBODY, whether you are on the Twin Flame journey or not, but it is inescapable for those on the Twin Flame path – simply because it is part of the Ascension process that the Twin Flame journey is but an instrument of.
This means that EVERYONE should work on their healing whether they have met their twin or not, but often it takes meeting the Twin Flame to become motivated to become whole again on all levels. It’s not that those not on the Twin Flame journey aren’t as motivated consciously, it’s that they are often not as confronted with their wounded sense of ‘self’ in the way Twin Flames are through the mirror of their Divine counterpart.
Twin Flames whether they like it or not are put on a fast-track to Ascension when they meet their Divine counterpart in the physical. This is of course a free will choice of their soul, but because they still identify with their 3D self and ego it is not recognized as such.
That is however the whole point of the healing one is called to do on this journey, and that is to heal (release) all the belief systems that keep you identifying with the false self and seeing yourself as a separated entity, instead of deeply connected to ALL that is.
Twin Flame union is perceived as the greatest prize in this endeavor, however there is an even higher union to attain which without its attainment – true union with the twin is not even possible. I am talking of course about the inner union with our own higher self and soul.
This inner union is only possible to the extent that we are able to deprogram ourselves from our false identifications, separation consciousness, our fears and false beliefs around the truth of who we are. We cannot enter the sacred marriage within, without truly understanding who we are underneath all the accumulated gunk and sludge we were conditioned to belief was the truth of who we are.
The top 13 myths around Twin Flame healing
If we cannot even manage to become one within ourselves, how on Earth do you propose to become one with someone else?!
All the (actual) healing we do on the Twin Flame journey is only to achieve one thing and that is to become ONE within ourselves, all the rest follows naturally from there because our outer reality is nothing but a reflection of what we have accomplished to attain within.
Which is why before we continue it’s important to first dispel 13 of the most deepest held myths around Twin Flame healing that circulate the Twin Flame stratosphere…..
It’s these myths around so-called Twin Flame healing that keep most twins running in circles endlessly.
Myth #1 Healers heal you
One of the most ridiculous beliefs out there about healing is the idea that healers heal you, no one can heal you but you. Healers can hold space for you, they can guide you and they can help you see the truth that you have often been hiding from yourself. They can journey with you and assist you, but they can’t do it for you. You can’t outsource your healing and give someone your brokenness and expect them to fix you. It doesn’t work like that, not even when it comes to physical healing – a doctor may set your broken bones but it’s your own body that heals them.
Healers that claim to heal you are bad news, because in reality they are people that try to control you by making you feel dependent on them for your healing of course. Do not fall into this trap, a good healer always helps you to stand on your own two feet – which is how it should be. You are a sovereign being and the powerful creator of your own reality, you don’t need a healer to lord over you. The reason why some healers try to do this, is because they have unhealed aspects within themselves that they haven’t addressed.
Myth #2 You need a Twin Flame healer
Another false belief is that you need a Twin Flame healer, I would actually say you need the opposite, most so-called Twin Flame healers that I have worked with are full of it. They have no clue what they are doing and most of them are in the business of telling you what you want to hear which is useless. I wasted over €5.000 at one point in my journey on someone who would overlay my twin’s and my energy body to bring us into deeper union, for the course of a year she would see my twin fighting with his wife and taking off his wedding ring (does he even have one?) by the sink… There is NO healing in these kinds of sessions.
This is not to take down the competition because I don’t need to. This is about exposing the truth, there is no one else that shares their client base with other healers in the way I do. It’s really not about badmouthing others. It’s about helping you see what healing is really about and just because someone slapped on the Twin Flame label to their product or services does not make it true healing.
You can fact check this for yourself, by checking from now on how much something is about what you want to hear. If it caters to your desire for union – it’s not healing. Because healing has nothing to do with the romantic outcome (download the free Inner Union Soul Alchemy Manuscript to find out more).
This is why I advice my clients to work with actual healers, who will help you heal your own subconscious wounds, fears and false beliefs. I understand that it is sometimes tough to deal with healers that don’t understand the Twin Flame concept, however healing is not about your twin – it’s about you. If a healer really can’t wrap their head around the Twin Flame journey, find someone else to work with.
If you join the Tribe Mystery School you get access to my own personal team of healers that have assisted me in my inner union process and that know exactly what to do to assist you in yours. This feature alone is worth more than your complete investment, because it saves you thousands of $$$$ in working with people who don’t know what they are doing or are only telling you what you want to hear.
Just to be transparent I do NOT receive commission on the bookings my clients make with these healers, they are part of the Tribe Mystery School because they have played an important part in my own healing journey and inner union process. I have personally worked with every one of them and no one makes it on that list that I have not had good results with myself.
Myth #3 You can heal everything yourself
I have never seen a bigger group of self proclaimed self healers as within the Twin Flame community. I hear the wildest story that people tell me about how they healed themselves completely and are now in inner union, just waiting for their twin to catch up. Yes, no one can heal you for you but at the same time it is an utter illusion that you can heal EVERYTHING yourself, let alone come into inner union all by yourself without the help of anyone.
I find these people often have huge egos which is already an indication that they are not as healed as they belief themselves to be, but let me also explain why it is IMPOSSIBLE to do all your healing on your own.
We all have blind spots and parts of ourselves that we have deeply disowned for whatever reason. People that have worked with me in the Akashic Record Clearings have experienced first-hand how tenacious their subconscious mind is in wanting to protect them from their deepest pain. They know how much we have to insist and persist to be able to bypass the gatekeepers of their deepest wounding, in order to retrieve their most deeply held and often deeply cherished false beliefs about themselves, their twin, life and the Divine. These wounds are inaccessible on our own, you need help accessing them.
Myth #4 Twin Flame meditations and activations heal you
Like you, I once believed in the power of Twin Flame meditations and activations, but they are nothing more than wishful thinking. There is no healing whatsoever in seeing yourself in a garden with your twin, or having your inner children play together, getting a message from their higher self or listening to someone describe how your energy bodies and chakras are connecting and merging.
I hate to break it to you, but this all just sentimental wishful thinking.
More telling you what you want to hear….
You are in pain, you are in separation, you are maybe even blocked. You want nothing more than to BE with this person and these meditations and activations PLAY right into your deep longing and desire for this beautiful reality, that you are not currently experiencing in your life.
But it doesn’t heal you sweetie.
I know it hurts. I know in how much pain you are and how deep that pain goes, but to heal that pain you have to go to it’s origin and the origin is not that your twin is not with you. The origin is the pain of the story you tell yourself (your belief systems) of what it means, that your twin is not with you now. Your twin is triggering your belief systems, by pulling away and that is what hurts so bad. You can’t cure that by listening to fairy-tale romantic drivel, you have to address the underlying pain. You can’t just stick a band-aid on it and hope it goes away.
Myth #5 Healing modalities or credentials make the healer
Neither healing modalities nor credentials make a healer, the capacity to be of service as a healer is not something that one can learn. It’s a gift we carry inside ourselves and that we first need to unlock inside ourselves through our own healing.
The more we heal ourselves and the deeper we are able to venture inside our own subconscious, the deeper one can assist others in their process.
Nothing you learn from a teacher or program can teach you, what you learn from truly visiting your own depths first. Most healers however are well stocked in theory, but have failed to bring in practice what they have learned in their own healing or have fallen into the trap that they believe that through their healing modality they can now heal themselves, which grabs right back to myth #3. As healers we all have our own blind spots as well and need to work with other healers in order to heal them.
Having some formal training is preferable however, because it often enhances professionalism but just like in other areas of life, healers often evolve past the original healing modality that they trained for. This happens when they find their own unique healing gift that may still use certain elements of certain modalities but cannot be defined by them.
Myth #6 Healers are healed themselves
To build upon myth #5 the sad truth is that most healers, do not invest in their own healing. Many healers love earning money from their work, but don’t want to spend money on their own healing. If and when they do work with other healers, they often swap services. The downside to swapping services is that you only get to swap with people you can ‘afford’ (i.e. who want to swap with you) and not necessarily with the people that you want or NEED to work with.
I for example never swap services, if someone wants to work with me they can book me like everyone else. If I want a massage I will buy one with a masseuse that I choose. If I want to work with a certain healer, I will simply pay them whatever the fee they charge because I want to work with them specifically and not just someone who has a poverty mindset and is willing to work for free because they feel they can’t afford to actually pay someone (which is of course simply a belief).
So, in fact many healers are not even remotely healed themselves which often leads to them projecting their own unresolved issues on their clients. I have found this especially true for the so-called Twin Flame healers, which is why I usually work with people outside of the Twin Flame industry. Also there, healers tend to not work on themselves to the extent they should, but I have had less experiences there that were negative, reactive or unprofessional.
Myth #7 You need to be 100% healed to be with your twin
You do not need to be healed 100% to be together with your Twin Flame, that is an absolute myth. Just as you only need to balance 51% of your karma in order to start the Ascension process according to Elizabeth Clare Prophet, you only need to heal the subconscious wounds that need separation in order to be triggered.
The souls use both closeness and distance (separation) to trigger the subconscious wounding within the Twin Flame couple, once you no longer need distance to trigger your own subconscious blocks to union there is no need for separation.
In fact for many of my clients that reached physical union early on in their journey, all that was needed was complete and utter surrender which sounds easy enough but there are of course a lot of subconscious patterns and programs in each of us that make us cling to a sense of control in order to feel safe. Surrender and control are two mutually exclusive concepts that do not go together. For many Twin Flames, getting to a state of complete surrender is the biggest challenge because there is so much underlying subconscious wounding that contradicts this state of being.
Myth #8 You are never finished healing
From my own personal experience I can say that this is not true. Yes, there are always deeper levels of understanding attainable to us – but we can become completely trauma free.
This is something that I have written about in a previous article (click to read here) in which I talk about our perception being trauma-driven until we move beyond trauma and come back to the space of our true self and the core of our soul essence.
When we wake up to the fact that this is all nothing but a Divine game that we play with ourselves and we stop identifying with the current avatar that we chose to play (experience) the game through – we are free. We are not the avatar, and the reality that our avatar experiences is ONLY a reality within the game. Our true self is outside of the game and witnesses the game, but is not harmed by anything that happens in the game – because the game itself is not real. It’s Maya*.
*Maya, the power by which the universe becomes manifest; the illusion or appearance of the phenomenal world.
Myth #9 You can bypass or skip your healing by….
There are so many techniques that claim to bypass the healing, like Kundalini yoga, energy work, breath work, plant medicine and so on and though it sounds good, it’s often too good to be true.
Let me tell you why:
Because the more you try to force past your wounds the more they get triggered and magnified in your live. For example raising the Kundalini, means pushing all this sacred energy into your chakras that are still blocked with trauma. What do you think happens when you do this? Your traumas get magnified and you instantly attract the people, situations and experiences in your life that will help you PLAY out your blockages. Yes, on the yoga mat you may feel orgasmic and in utter bliss, but off of it you will run into the issues that need to be addressed with full force because you are using a jack hammer (Kundalini energy) to force your way through.
It’s better to work on your healing by first unblocking all of the lower 7 chakras and unlocking the higher 5 (read an article on the chakras here), which opens the way for the Kundalini to rise up on its own and flow unrestricted through all the chakras that have now been unblocked and unlocked. No trauma equals no drama!
Myth #10 That psychics, tarot or energy readers can heal you
Another myth is the idea that psychics, tarot or energy readers can heal you – they can’t. They are good at one thing and that is reading your energy and to be honest telling you what you want to hear. I could make a fortune doing this, everyone can because all you have to do is figure out what your client wants to hear and tell them that. Is it ethical? No, of course not.
I won’t say that all these kind of services are scams, but I can safely say that 99% of them are (something I wrote about before here). There is no healing in someone telling you if your twin is missing you, wants to be with you or on their way back to you.
This does not heal anything.
It only tells you what you are so desperate to hear, unless you are out of luck and this person tells you this is not your twin and you will never be together which will hurt and make you cry. But it still doesn’t heal anything, because you will not accept this outcome and seek another person to tell you that this is your twin and that they will come back to you.
You can keep this up as long as you like (which many Divine Feminines do), but you are only wasting your time and your money. Nothing is shifting, even if you are being told that through this reading the energy between you and your twin is being shifted – it’s nonsense. It sounds good and it is what you want to happen, but because none of your true subconscious wounding is being addressed, nothing CAN really shift.
These sessions serve just one purpose only and that is to help you feel less afraid and out of control. If you know everything is going to be okay and that your twin will come back, you can relax until the next time that you feel out of control and you need a new anti-anxiety fix. It’s like taking painkillers or an opioid, that helps numb the pain – but it never addresses the underlying cause.
It just keeps you going in circles.
Myth #11 That reading books or acquiring knowledge heals you
Reading anything including my articles does not heal you. So many times people tell me. that just reading my work has healed them. That’s not true, it’s calmed them down, given them perspective and helped them look at things in a different way – but remember that our subconscious programming is infinitely stronger than our conscious mind and choices.
You can’t simply overwrite eons and eons of deeply ingrained thought patterns with new belief systems like that, if that would be possible you would be all over the place. You would be in a constant state of malfunction, because you would constantly be going in different directions instead of holding a steady course.
I can show you the way towards what needs to be healed, as other body of works that you read, hear or watch can do – but you still have to do the ACTUAL work and the truth is most of you don’t. You are chasing quick fixes, reading multiple different blogs, wasting your time on YouTube consuming even more Twin Flame rubbish and at the end of the day – you don’t know what to believe anymore.
The only way to heal is to work with actual healers, that is how you work on your healing anything else is you just kidding yourself that you are doing something when you are not.
Myth #12 That healing comes from the external or certain practices
Full moons, new moons, retrogrades, eclipses, grand trines and any other celestial events DO NOT heal you, it can trigger things that need to be healed but it doesn’t heal you.
Gemstones, chakra candles, journaling, yoga, juicing, meditating and so on doesn’t heal you, they are great supports to your healing – but they don’t change your internal programming. They are in and of themselves very beneficial and supportive, but they don’t heal you.
Even rituals don’t necessarily heal you although they can be very powerful as well. Recently one of my Tribe members posted that she had done a healing ritual for her and her twin and that she felt so empowered and healed because of it. She wrote an extremely lengthy post that was full of blame towards her twin and claiming victimhood and innocence for herself, to end in gratitude to her twin for the experience that had taught her how to love and forgive.
No healing had taken place, despite the ritual or her ending in gratitude because she still needed 30 lines of emotional vomit to get there. I lovingly called her out on it and she argued with me that, she felt very empowered and strong after doing it.
She felt strong and empowered because she had created a sense of control (power) for herself in a situation in which she had no control and felt powerless, That’s not healing, that is a coping mechanism to not have to deal with the real pain being triggered. Her twin had just told her a week ago that he had remarried and his wife was expecting a baby.
You can’t rush healing either, it comes when you have worked through what needs to be worked through and in situations such as these you can’t expect yourself to be healed and ready to move on within one week…
This also shows us why healing ourselves is often a farce, because it is so easy to just go auto-pilot on ourselves and to fall back into old habits and behaviors. We are so damn good at hiding the truth from ourselves, that we need other people from time to time to help us see that we are indeed fooling ourselves.
Myth #13 That you can heal your Twin Flame
The biggest myth of all however is that you can heal your twin or that you would even need to. Sometimes people tell me stories about how their twin’s higher self is directing them in what to do to heal their twin. These people think that they are already healed themselves and that they have some special gift that allows them to heal the other. This is one BIG ego trip.
Your job is to heal you, your twin’s healing is none of your f-ing business.
It is really as simple as that, you are violating spiritual law when you intrude on someone else’s life even if you believe that this person is your Divine counterpart – it gives you no right to interfere. I don’t care if you believe that his/her higher self is asking you to clear things for him/her, that is not up to you. In fact it may indicate that you suffer from a savior complex, which is caused by your own traumas.
The truth is that focusing on your own healing, heals your twin on it’s own. This is because your healing has a knock-on effect on your twin. Because you are connected energetically, your twin is pulled into their own healing whether ‘they’ (their ego) want to or not, when you heal yourself.
For example in my twin’s case his third eye started opening spontaneously when his wife was pregnant in 2018. When we spoke at that time he asked me how it was possible that his third eye was opening, when he didn’t pray or meditate. When I told him that it was because he was energetically connected to me and that I had done massive inner work since we had last seen each other, he immediately responded with ‘I knew it had something to do with you!’ When I later asked him how he had known, he told me he could feel that it was connected to me.
You don’t need to put effort into healing your twin, just as much as you don’t need to put effort into connecting up your chakras or merging your energy bodies – all of this happens on it’s own naturally when you focus on the inner work that you have to do within yourself to be able to return to your original state of Divinity and embody who you truly are on a soul level.
You DO NOT need to micromanage the union process in order for it to happen, it is something that happens naturally when YOU focus on your OWN healing.
Healing is about facing the truth, not about feeling good
Last but not least it’s important to understand that healing is not about feeling good. You can have someone beam you in with prana, reiki, chi or whatever you want to call it for one hour and you will feel great, because someone just replenished your life-force energy. Similarly, if you get a nice massage it will help you relax deeply.
So does soaking in the jacuzzi or bathtub or spending a day at the spa…
Did you heal anything? Probably not, but you feel good right?
Yeah, that’s not healing though.
Healing is not about feeling good, it’s about facing the truth and that can sometimes feel horrible. Healing can trigger a lot of fear to see what you have not wanted to see about yourself or other people. It can be uncomfortable or even painful to allow in the feelings that you have been repressing way too long. It can be utterly disillusioning to reclaim aspects of yourself that you have completely disowned.
Healing is messy, it can be exhausting or exhilarating and everything in between.
You can come out of a session feeling filled with light and wake up the next day feeling shit, because this influx of light is helping you release a deeper layer of darkness inside yourself.
Healing means facing the pain, facing your fears, facing your traumas, facing your false beliefs. It’s about bringing everything out of the shadows into the light. Like Swiss psychiatrist and founder of psychoanalysis Carl Jung said, it’s about making the unconscious – conscious, that is healing. When you bring to light all the lies (the untruths that you belief are true) that you subconsciously tell yourself and replace them with the truth, that is where healing takes place.
I don’t know any other Twin Flame website that talks about healing in this way, because the owners don’t work on their own healing themselves often and because they only want to sell their particular solution to your problem. But the real problem is that the Twin Flame and Ascension process are so complex, that there are no one-stop solutions to fix it.
I pray that this article has helped you open your eyes to the complexity of healing and has given you a taste of how deep you need to go in order to heal yourself.
The Twin Flame journey comes to help us wake up to the truth of who we are and above all to being able to embody the truth of who we truly are on a soul level. Knowledge in itself is incomplete, until that knowledge is implemented and embodied. So often we think we already know things, because we have heard of them – but we fail to live (embody) them and we end up not knowing them at all, that way.
With the new year just around the corner, I challenge you reading this to make the upcoming year a year in where instead of obsessing about how to get into ‘union’ with your twin, you take the year completely for yourself (yes, get rid of the fuckbuddy) and focus on your own healing.
Join the Tribe Mystery School to get a step by step guide to healing and inner union.
Especially women, use sex for all the wrong reasons to ‘feel good’ about themselves when all you really are doing is masking your true feelings. I challenge you to be real with yourself and raw and face those insecurities, because they are not the truth of who you are at the core of your being. Get rid of all the distractions, including any addictions to food, drugs, alcohol, shopping, gambling or sex and face what really wants to be seen.
I wish back in 2014 when I met my twin, someone would have said this to me. I wish someone would have told me back then that it is not about the romantic outcome with the twin, but that if it is a romantic outcome that you seek that the only way to get there is by healing yourself – not because you aren’t good enough, but because you have not yet realized the truth of who you are.
True Twin Flame union demands us to fully embody our soul self in the physical and the only way to embody our soul is to heal every fear and false belief that is keeping us stuck identifying with the false self, that was formed around the trauma we experienced in this lifetime, that we brought in from previous lifetimes or inherited from our ancestry.
If you are interested and excited to know how we can help you in your Twin Flame journey and Ascension process, join the Tribe Mystery School for modern-day Initiates on the Twin Flame and Ascension path. In our signature program, the Inner Union Soul Alchemy Program we walk you step by step through the process of coming into inner union with your own soul. Tribe members also get access to my own personal team of healers, who have assisted me in my inner union process. Inner union, is a prerequisite for true Twin Flame union and creating ‘Heaven on Earth’ from the inside out.
You can also book an Akashic Record Clearing to release deep pain and trauma (including fears and false beliefs) from this and previous lifetimes.
Sending you love and light on your Ascension path and Divine partnership journey, you are forever protected and guided. All is well.
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Lots of love,