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Most Twin Flames don’t understand Twin Flame healing
You may already think that you are ACING your Twin Flame healing, and you are probably keeping yourself very busy doing all kinds of stuff to achieve union. But that is the fallacy within the Twin Flame industry that has led to an insurmountable amount of content, teachings, healing modalities, healers and products geared at obtaining union. So much so, that you would think that this is what Twin Flame healing (or the journey) is about, coming into union with the Twin Flame.
But 99% of the Twin Flame solutions being sold, are only selling you what you WANT and not what you NEED. A self-perpetuating multi-million dollar industry that has people chasing their tales, instead of giving them the tools to liberate themselves.
This selling Twin Flame union as the ultimate goal and outcome has created problems of it’s own that neither benefit the Twin Flame or the Twin Flame connection.
When it comes to Twin Flame healing, it is for many a mere means to an end, that is pursued merciless.
All is fair in love and war they say and this certainly proves true for many of those pursuing Twin Flame union, they think all is allowed because they have identified this other person as their Divine counterpart. This leads to practices and situations that are sometimes even unethical (which I will go into further in this article).
But above all it leads to a lot of pseudo healing, because the healing is not pursued for oneself, but is only undergone in order to get a certain result – aka the deeply desired and craved for union with the other.
What these people do not understand is that the Twin Flame journey does not exist on itself, instead it is a series of initiations on the Ascension path that is meant to bring you into living the highest expression of yourself (your soul self) in the physical.
Instead they are too all consumed with chasing the carrot, the bait their soul is dangling in front of them to understand that the healing work on this journey, we do for ourselves and our own soul evolution. We don’t do the healing work to end up in a romantic relationship with someone else.
Now, I have been where you are now. I have chased union. I have done some of the practices, that I will tell you not to do in this article.
Having walked this path myself:
- I know how all consuming the drive to union is.
- I know how it can seem that your life isn’t worth living without this person in it.
- I know the depth of your sadness.
- I know the depth of your pain and
- I know the depth of your fear that you will NEVER find a love like this in your life again.
- I know the whole scala of emotions you are going through, because I went through them myself.
But I also know that these emotions are the symptoms of much deeper subconscious wounds that you need to heal from no matter whether you end up in a romantic relationship with this other person (the Twin Flame) or not.
The word healing in itself is misleading
To be honest the word ‘healing‘ in itself is misleading, because healing almost implies that you are broken or need to be fixed.
When in fact when we are talking about Twin Flame healing, we are much more talking about a deeper understanding of life, karma and spirituality. Understanding the circumstances of our lives and how they came about. But above all understand our hand in them, instead of seeing ourselves as a victim of a cruel fate. So if we must use the word healing, what we are healing is our perception of reality.
Until you make the unconscious conscious, it will direct your life and you will call it fate.”
― C.G. Jung psychiatrist and psychoanalyst
And the key to healing our perception of reality is making the unconscious, conscious. Remembering all our fears and false beliefs that we have taken with us from previous lifetimes or been conditioned to believe through society, our family of origin, the religion we grew up in and the mentors and teachers that have influenced us to become who we are today.
It’s removing this old paradigm programming that allows us to shift into both a higher vibrational frequency and a higher dimensional reality (5D). That is what the Twin Flame journey is really all about. Ending up in a physical love relationship with the twin is only a byproduct of that vibrational and dimensional shift. Inner union, which is union with your soul is what creates the dimensional shift, the returning to Oneness within. True Twin Flame union, isn’t possible until you have reached this inner union.
What about all those Twin Flame teachers who say they are in union then?
They aren’t in union, they are in a physical and romantic relationship with their Twin, which is not the same thing. I can hear you think, well screw union then I would GIVE ANYTHING just to be able to be together with this person and that is exactly why this is THE PERFECT setup to get you to make your Ascension. Your soul knew this and is using your deep feelings that you feel for your Twin Flame, by dangling them in front of you like a BIG juicy carrot – to get you to do the inner work that will inevitably lead to you inner union, enlightenment and Ascension in this lifetime.
Watch this video till the end to understand this article
Romance with your Twin is NOT proof of your healing
The BIGGEST mistake you can make on your Twin Flame journey, is to use romance as PROOF that you are doing your healing correctly. That is an illusion. The higher selves use closeness and distance to bring up the deeper subconscious wounding, that is keeping you out of this Oneness within.
In worst case scenarios I have seen this play out in people engaging in dangerous and potentially self harming behavior, because they belief that doing so will pull their Twin Flame closer to them. One client believed that doing Ayahuasca would raise her vibrational frequency, and when her twin seemed to come closer after doing Ayahuasca, she told herself she should do it more often to bring him back completely. Ayahuasca contains DMT and the Shamans that brought it to us, never intended for us to use it as a party drug or as a means to get our Twin Flame back in our beds.
Let me reiterate TWIN FLAME UNION is not the point of the Twin Flame journey.
The point of the Twin Flame journey is to return to your natural state of Oneness, so how can the level of romance within your Twin Flame connection be an indication of success of you becoming One within yourself? It can’t. But you might say, when I have reached Oneness within it will be mirrored back to me in Oneness with my Divine counterpart… In order to reach Oneness within, you HAVE to let go of having this journey end up in a romantic relationship with someone else.
Because if you don’t let go, you will continuously keep looking towards your Twin Flame connection to validate your progress.
Now if you watched the video above you will know that Deshauna Barber failed to become Miss America 6 years in a row. The 7th year she won the title of Miss America and placed top 9 among 86 countries for the title of Miss Universe. She shares in her talk how she had to grow into the shoes that were too big for her at first, and that looking back if she had won the title of Miss America the first time around she wouldn’t have been able to BE Miss America, in the way she was now.
The same applies to you, the union that you so deeply desire is waiting for you to grow into the person you need to be to have TRUE union and not just a romantic and sexual relationship with your Twin Flame. So your focus should NOT be on having the union, your focus should be on BECOMING the person that is ready to HAVE the union you dream of. You need to grow into the shoes that are still too BIG for you, not because that other person is so special and you need to deserve their love. No, it’s because you want to BECOME all that you can be. That is your measure stick, not how close or far this other person is from you in this moment.
11 misconceptions about Twin Flame healing
So let’s now dive into some of the BIGGEST misconceptions around Twin Flame healing:
Misconception #1 A healer heals you
Nobody can heal you for you. You cannot come to a healer with an apron full of broken and unhinged parts and ask them to fix you for you. It doesn’t work like that, which is also why you should be careful with ‘done for you‘ types of healing sessions. It is of course very tempting to believe that someone can simply magic away all your issues, but alas that is not how it works.
A good healer will help you see and face the deeper repressed pain inside of you, that you have buried deep inside your subconscious mind and cellular memory because it was initially too painful for you to deal with.
A healer helps you tap into your own self-healing abilities, your inner knowing and a deeper understanding. They can help you access your deepest pain, but they can’t just make it go away because if they did you would have never understood the full truth of who you are. They would rob you of that experience and deeper understanding that is essential for your soul growth.
Someone who robs you of your soul growth is keeping you small and shackled, often subconsciously or maybe even consciously to create a cash-cow for themselves. Also in the healing business there are people with BIG ego’s that love being needed, obeyed and worshiped. Be aware, and DO NOT give your power away to the healers you work with. They are just like you mere mortal beings and their attitude should be one of service to you.
Misconception #2 Healing makes you feel better
It can make you feel better, but it can also make you feel worse. How you feel after a healing session, is only an indication of what was brought up for release.
Sometimes you can feel really good after a session, only to have all the sh*t hit the fan in the days that follow. This is because in an effective healing session, you have been able to open up deep pain and negativity and receive an influx of light. When this happens it brings out all the suppressed gunk and sludge that was connected to the opened up wound. Often from multiple lifetimes, which is now ready to leave your mental, emotional, vibrational and physical body. This is tough as nails to go through, but it also means that you are in fact healing and not just being busy thinking you are moving mountains when in fact you aren’t even scratching the surface of the issues that are holding you back.
Sometimes people think the healing didn’t work or that it wasn’t good for them when this happens, but it’s actually very positive when all this pain is brought up to the surface. Because it is there anyway whether you suppress it or not and the thing with suppressed emotions is that they always end up biting you in the butt. This is because they will start playing out in your life if you refuse to face them, so that you have to face them through the people and drama they attract to help you release them. So you are much better off, facing them on your own than having to play them out in your reality experience.
Misconception #3 You can do your own healing
Yes and no. Ultimately you do your own healing, but we all have blind spots and we all need someone or something to help us see our blind spots. Some people do this through hallucinogenics, I prefer to do it with a healer.
Especially our deepest pain is virtually inaccessible by ourselves because we buried it deep for a reason. It was too painful, too scary and too unhinging at our core to look at. It would be foolish to think that you can face the depth of this pain on your own.
Plus let’s just be realistic hardly any of us have the discipline to schedule healing sessions with ourselves on a regular basis, life just get’s in the way and before you know it weeks or months have passed. I know if I didn’t schedule sessions with healers on a regular basis, I wouldn’t have come this far this fast.
The input of others can also massively accelerate your own growth. People are often looking at what an investment costs, but they rarely think about what investments like this can create for them. Many of my clients heal their relationship with money, heal their relationship with estranged parents or siblings, they heal the relationships with themselves and remove their blocks to being together with their Twin Flame.
Misconception #4 Guided meditations can heal you
No, they can’t. At best guided meditations, can help you activate your self-healing abilities and help you raise your vibrational frequency slightly. They can help you journey into your subconscious and they can help you access your Akashic Records, but they can’t replace working one on one with a healer.
The reason they can’t do this is because they don’t go deep enough. When making a guided meditation, you can’t customize the experience in the way that actually working with a healer does. It is a ONE SIZE FITS ALL solution, that is generic in nature.
So of course a guided meditation will not be able to bring you to your deepest pain, because accessing this calls for maneuvering around the person’s individual defense and survival mechanisms that are guarding the pain. There is no generic solution to that. You need someone to guide you in real-time and help you move through your own roadblocks that were set up long ago to protect you, but now no longer serve you.
Misconception #5 Yoga, journaling, affirmations and meditation are healing
Yes they are to a certain extent, but not when it comes to the healing that needs to be done on the Twin Flame journey. They make you feel good and relax you, but the same can be said for hitting the gym or taking a nice hot bath.
Yoga, meditation, affirmations and even journaling don’t get you to the depth of your pain and it is that pain, that is keeping you from returning to Oneness and inner union with your soul.
It doesn’t mean these practices are useless, they have their own value. But they don’t facilitate the healing we need to make our Ascension even when yoga and meditation have been used as tools in the Ascension journey. That was done in an entirely different context and often, together with a spiritual teacher. It also took years of practice.
Misconception #6 Connecting chakras with your Twin Flame to create union
No just no! Let me be really blunt here, this is spiritual RAPE and you know why? Because you are operating outside of consent. Any Twin Flame healing audios or healers that overlay your energy and connect your chakras are crossing the line.
It’s that simple, they and you have no consent to be doing this. Now if there are laws that prevent us from touching people without consent, then it should follow that forcing your will onto them vibrationally is a no-no as well.
You are in such a hurry to come into union, that you are trying to force this outcome energetically by something that happens NATURALLY when you actually just do the effing soul liberating work. When it then happens spontaneously, because you did the inner work it is REAL and LASTING, while when doing it through energetic manipulation it is just trying to take Heaven by force.
Let me be CRYSTAL CLEAR here:
You cannot bypass the spiritual process and soul growth you need, to create the inner hiero-gamic union with your soul or the outer Hieros Gamos with your Twin Flame. It can’t be bought for $47 or any other amount of money. If that was possible so many more Twin Flames would be in union either from buying relatively cheap Twin Flame Union activations or working one on one with the various ‘healers’ that overlay your energy bodies and synchronize and connect your chakras.
You CANNOT rush the union process, force it or manipulate it in THIS way.
Your chakras and energy bodies WILL MERGE on their own, when you do the inner work within yourself of clearing your own chakras of past life wounds and trauma. This is the work I teach my students how to do in The Twin Flame Tribe and the Inner Union Soul Alchemy Program.
But it won’t happen until you have reached inner union with your soul, this is a prerequisite for merging energy bodies with the Twin Flame. If you would be allowed to skip to the end, without doing the inner work – you would just be merging each other’s unresolved gunk and sludge because you didn’t clear it. Imagine the shit fest you would be living in…. you would just be projecting all your SUBCONSCIOUS past life fears, false beliefs and trauma unto each other in such a union. Just think about this for a second, how would such a union be any different than all 3D karmic and soul mate relationships? How is this bringing in new relationship templates? It’s just rehashing the same model that hasn’t worked since the beginning of time.
This is a PERFECT EXAMPLE of people selling you what you WANT, not what you NEED.
The people selling these kind of products tell you that it is in alignment with free will because you and your Twin Flame share the same energy body, even if this is true – it does not give you the right to force your will on them energetically.
It just creates more karma….
Especially if you were too hasty to slap on the Twin Flame label.
Do you know how many Twin Flame teachers thought they had met their Twin Flame, before they met who they now believe to be their Twin? I can name at least 10 teachers! Do you know how many clients I have spoken who were certain, this person was their Twin, only to decide 6, 12 months or years later that they were wrong? Do you know how many people are out there who have at least been wrong once about the person they thought to be their Twin Flame?
Poll: Have you identified someone else as your Twin Flame before you met your REAL Twin Flame?
Most of the Twin Flame teachers I know thought they had met their Twin, before they met the person they now identify as…
I know of so many cases that I decided to take a poll. You can see the results above: they seem to hover around 30%, not counting the people who are convinced now but could change their mind later.
Imagine how many people have connected their chakras and tried to FORCE union with the wrong person and justified it because this was THEIR Divine Counterpart. Sex within marriage without consent is still considered rape in most countries around the world. Recognizing someone as your Twin Flame does not entitle you to force yourself upon them spiritually or energetically. Even if you did the fool proof test to get confirmation from the Universe, don’t try to skip ahead to something you aren’t ready for – because you didn’t do the inner work.
This is not to point a finger at these people who misidentified a Twin Flame connection, to err is human and there is a multitude of reasons why it happens.
What I do want to do, is create awareness for the fact that:
- just because you have identified someone as your Twin Flame, doesn’t mean it’s true.
- Even if this is 100% certain your Twin Flame, this doesn’t give you the right to energetically force union with them (you wouldn’t force them to have sex with you would you? So why would it be okay to force a spiritual union without consent?).
- it isn’t wise to connect energy bodies, link up chakras and God knows what BECAUSE you could actually be creating energetic bonds with someone that is NOT your Twin Flame.
- wanting physical union is an EGO desire, it could be that your soul has bigger and better plans for you that do not include a physical union with your twin but are AWESOME anyway.
- you can’t bypass the inner union process within, with your own soul, because if you do you will come to your sacred marriage bringing your Divine Counterpart all your unresolved shit as your dowry.
Stay away from energetically forcing union and stay away from people that are selling this type of solutions. I have often compared these kind of people to the light products in the diet industry, not only do their products NOT WORK they can create SERIOUS SIDE EFFECTS.
Misconception #7 You can clear past lives without knowing the story
This is just more magical thinking, that doesn’t serve us. Seeing and understanding our past lives is a crucial part of our soul’s journey and soul growth.
It is through seeing the past that we much better understand our here and now reality and the subconscious fears and false beliefs that created our current life experience.
Past life work has been a crucial part of my own Twin Flame journey, inner union and Ascension process. It is the most vital work I know in truly UNFUCKING yourself and releasing yourself from your own imprisonment. Until you have understood your past, you won’t be able to see that you were your own jailer all along. You will stay stuck in the illusion that you are the victim and that others have power over you.
Many Twin Flames are always talking about their ‘awakening’ but you haven’t awakened until you can see the game that you have been playing with yourself for eons and eons…..
You were and always have been the do-er and the done-to all wrapped up into one.
So skipping over past lives only deprives you of truly seeing the interconnectedness of it all and how every experience you have had, has happened for your highest good. This is essential, because there is no Ascension without complete forgiveness. All your soul connections, soul mate, karmic or Twin Flame HAVE to be restored back to love. The only way to do that is to allow yourself to see the soul truth and not the ego illusion.
Misconception #8 Healing can be learned through a course
I know many people on the Twin Flame journey that have bought some kind of healing modality so that they can learn to do their own healing. This doesn’t work for the already above mentioned reasons, but another very important reason is that you can’t learn to heal through going to school or following a course.
Being able to help others in their healing process is a spiritual gift, that you can’t learn in school. Which is the whole reason why Reiki ‘lost’ it’s power, because everyone wanted and was allowed to call themselves a Reiki practitioner as long as they had followed the curriculum.
The best way to become a healer is to work on your own healing, because as you clear your past life pain and traumas – your past life spiritual gifts are freed as well. Plus you can ONLY take a person as far as you have ventured in your own journey, which means that the deeper you have gone within yourself, the deeper you can take your clients inside of themselves. It’s because of this that my sessions with clients in the Akashic Record Clearings go so deep, they are the equivalent of multiple sessions with other healers – because I have gone this deep myself in my own journey, so I know HOW to take my clients there too.
Misconception #9 God, the Universe will heal you through prayer
Prayer is a crucial part of the healing process, that you cannot do without. But, you must never forget that God works through people. Just remember the parable of the flood:
‘A man was trapped in his house during a flood. He began praying to God to rescue him. He had a vision in his head of God’s hand reaching down from heaven and lifting him to safety. The water started to rise in his house. His neighbor urged him to leave and offered him a ride to safety. The man yelled back, “I am waiting for God to save me.” The neighbor drove off in his pick-up truck.
The man continued to pray and hold on to his vision. As the water began rising in his house, he had to climb up to the roof. A boat came by with some people heading for safe ground. They yelled at the man to grab a rope they were ready to throw and take him to safety. He told them that he was waiting for God to save him. They shook their heads and moved on.
The man continued to pray, believing with all his heart that he would be saved by God. The flood waters continued to rise. A helicopter flew by and a voice came over a loudspeaker offering to lower a ladder and take him off the roof. The man waved the helicopter away, shouting back that he was waiting for God to save him. The helicopter left.
The flooding water came over the roof and caught him up and swept him away. He drowned. When he reached heaven and asked, “God, why did you not save me? I believed in you with all my heart. Why did you let me drown?” God replied, “I sent you a pick-up truck, a boat and a helicopter and you refused all of them. What else could I possibly do for you?”’
Sometimes God/the Universe needs a channel to work through, but above all the lesson that this parable teaches us is that we DON’T GET TO DECIDE how our prayers are answered.
Misconception #10 Chakra candles, essential oils, gemstones heal you
I am a BIG fan of all these kind of healing attributes, but they do not facilitate the healing we are talking about here. They support the overall healing process, but they don’t replace it.
Think of it this way, a cast or crutches are not what heals broken bones – time and rest does and our own innate healing abilities. The cast and the crutches are just to help us not use or tax the broken part of our body, that would otherwise fail to heal. They are aids in our bone or skin healing process.
In the same way all of the above are aids in our overall healing process, they do not heal us but they allow for a deeper healing in combination with creating the deeper understanding. This last part is crucial in the healing-process, this deeper understanding because without the deeper understanding true healing can’t take place. The deeper understanding IS the healing. Without this deeper understanding all these healing aids can’t take you as deep, as your understanding what needs to be understood will.
Misconception #11 You have to be healed 100% to…. [fill in the blank]
The BIGGEST misconception of them all is that you need to be healed 100% in order to come into inner union, in order to make your Ascension or in order to have Twin Flame union.
According to Ascension and Twin Flame teacher of the first hour Elizabeth Clare Prophet, we only need to balance 51% of our karma to start the Ascension process:
“In order to ascend, the candidate must have balanced at least 51 percent of his karma. In order to make a physical ascension, he must have balanced between 95 and 100 percent of his karma. Those who are called to the physical ascension must have had many thousands of years of preparation.”
This is also why past life work is such an IMPORTANT part of the Ascension process, because that helps us understand and atone for our karmic actions and patterns. The truth is there is NO big scorekeeper in the sky, keeping the score on our transgressions. We are the scorekeeper within and it’s not only about what we have done wrong unto others, it’s also about where we have held low frequency emotions towards others and ourselves.
Paul Ferrini an author that I adore introduced me to the fact that the original meaning of the word sin meant ‘to miss the mark’.
To sin as in to hate, to despise, to seek revenge, to refuse to forgive are what happens when WE MISS THE MARK aka do not understand the situations we encounter from the soul’s perspective. We sin or miss the mark, when we get stuck in the illusion of the ego that takes everything as a personal attack. It’s through revisiting these sometimes even ancient misinterpretation from lifetimes that precede the beginning of time that we are able to release our misunderstanding and learn to view what happened from the soul’s perspective. That is how we undo our karma, step by step.
In my own Ascension journey I have found that at no point do you need to have reached 100% mastery, you only need to reach the tipping point before you are moved into the next part of your journey.
I pray this article has helped you gain a deeper understanding of the concept of Twin Flame Healing and the need to let go of the romantic outcome with your Twin Flame for now. When you are ready the soul merge, the linking up of the chakras and the outer Hieros Gamos with the Twin Flame will happen on it’s own BECAUSE you did the inner work, not because you were trying to take Heaven by force.
If you are interested and excited to know how we can help you in your Twin Flame journey and Ascension process, check out the Tribe Mystery School for modern-day Initiates on the Twin Flame and Ascension path. In our signature program, the Inner Union Soul Alchemy Program we walk you step by step through the process of coming into inner union with your own soul. Inner union, is a prerequisite for true Twin Flame union and creating ‘Heaven on Earth’ from the inside out. You can also book an Akashic Record Clearing to release deep pain and trauma (including fears and false beliefs) from this and previous lifetimes.
Sending you love and light on your Ascension path and Divine partnership journey, you are forever protected and guided. All is well.
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