When you’ve done all your healing, but your Twin Flame hasn’t come back….😤

Need guidance? Get messages from your and your Twin Flame's higher self on the
Twin Flame Oracle app, with 108 messages to support and guide you on your journey.
Download the free app in the Apple app or Google Play store.

I know how frustrated you are

Having had to walk the Twin Flame path myself, I totally understand HOW frustrated you are. Believe me I have been there and learned a lot from the experience which I will share with you today.

Especially in the beginning we all look to our Twin Flame connection, to see if what we are doing is having the desired effect. But this is the first crucial mistake that we make, because the level of romance or the lack thereof is not an accurate measurement of progress on the Twin Flame journey. You have heard me say it before, it’s trying to measure length with a scale. A scale can only measure weight, it can’t tell us how long an object is. Likewise the absence of romance, says nothing about the depth of love you and your Twin Flame hold for each other.

And it’s in fact that deep soul love that enables you to help each other become the highest expression of yourself, which is the true goal of the Twin Flame journey. It is a fast-track to Ascension, which doesn’t mean romance is out of the question. It’s merely delayed, so that you can come into true Twin Flame union and not just a physical relationship with your twin.

Why you aren’t healing for your twin

Another BIG misconception on the Twin Flame journey is that you are healing to be with your twin or that you are healing your connection with your Twin Flame. You’re not, you’re healing the connection with you. You are healing the connection with your soul.

Your twin didn’t hold off the boat or leave because you aren’t good enough, or not healed enough, or God knows what. If this was ANY other type of relationship you would already have the romance you dream of. The reason you are not in a romantic relationship with your Twin Flame yet, is because you first need to reconnect to your own soul. You need to embody the highest expression of yourself.

This goes far beyond knowing that you have a higher self and communicating with your higher self.

Let me explain.

See this image above, that is how you subconsciously see yourself. Fragmented. This fragmentation comes from your soul’s journey throughout time and space and the unresolved trauma, fears and false beliefs you still carry within yourself from this life and previous lifetimes.

THIS is what your Twin Flame MIRRORS you, your own fears and false beliefs so that you can release them retrieve and re-own the parts of your soul that were lost or cast aside in judgment, guilt, shame and so on. This is why the Twin Flame journey is so immensely painful at times because it confronts us with all the subconscious pain we have left unaddressed.

Yet in order to truly become WHOLE within, we have to bring back all aspects of ourselves back to innocence and love. As long as we haven’t done that, any attempt to be together with the Twin Flame comes from a fragmented place – seeking your own disowned parts in the other.

Because Twin Flames are meant to bring in new relationship templates, they can’t continue or come together on old paradigm romantic programming. I.e. in old 3D relationship we could get away with trying to find love and our needs met outside of us, in the new 5th dimensional love partnership this can’t be done. You first have to find what you are seeking outside of you within, in order to have it reflected back to you in your physical reality. And this is what causes the hold up in Twin Flame connections, this inner process. It never was because your Twin Flame doesn’t love you or doesn’t want to be with you. Even if they told you this in your face.

Are you doing healing work, or are you just being busy?

Which brings us to the actual healing work, many Twin Flame and I used to be one of them, THINK they are working hard on their healing and their union – when in fact they are only keeping themselves busy.

I bought all the Twin Flame healing meditations, I bought the complete infinity healing audio library, the special portal activations. I booked sessions with other Twin Flame healers (some of the worst experiences I had, to be honest) and so on. I know many of you are into yoga, meditation, life scripting, journaling, etc. But none of these methods go DEEP enough to really bring in the healing, that is necessary for this journey. Sure they make you feel good about yourself, but so does hitting the gym or taking a nice relaxing bath. And those things don’t do much for healing your subconscious trauma’s, deep seated fears and false beliefs either.

It’s great that you are doing Reiki, chakra balancing, and all that other stuff – but what you really need to do is FACE THE PAIN. Allow yourself to go there, look it straight in the eye and see through the illusion that you have imprisoned yourself with. It’s one of my favorite phrases, but this journey is really about UNFUCKING yourself, everywhere where you hadn’t even realized you had f*cked yourself over BIG TIME.

It’s about waking up from the MATRIX, but not to this grand external manipulation that is going on behind the scenes as Neo did in the movie – but waking up to the fact that you were ALWAYS the do’er and the done-to all wrapped up into one. Nobody did it to you, you did it to yourself.

In order to get to this LEVEL of healing, you need healing modalities that go deep and healers that have accessed this depth within themselves. No one can take you to a depth they haven’t traveled to on their own journey for themselves. This is the reason I can take my own clients so deep in the Akashic Record Clearings, because I have gone this deep and even deeper on my own journey.

If the healing work you are doing is only surface deep, you aren’t going deep enough to break through the DEEP subconscious programming and conditioning that is keeping you stuck in the old 3D paradigm. If you can’t break out this self imprisonment that is holding you hostage in the old paradigm, you can’t enter the new paradigm and anchor into the higher 5th dimensional frequency. So in short the reason most Twin Flames aren’t going anywhere fast on their Twin Flame journey, is because they aren’t doing their inner work period or they are running in circles being extremely busy doing all the wrong things…

Now don’t get me wrong I still do portal activations, but I am not under the illusion that sitting in on a group activation is going to do ALL the healing work I will ever need to do on my Twin Flame journey. I know that if I want to break through my own limitations, that I have to work one on one with a healer to do healing work that is individualized to what I need to work on – and not a general energy directed at a whole group. Which is again another variation of going deep enough, portal activations are great but they are like a one off yoga class. It feels good, but it’s not enough to obtain any real lasting results.

You are falling into the trap of healing yourself

Any healing you do is self healing. nobody ever heals you – BUT this doesn’t mean that you can just sit down and heal yourself. Any magic wand kind of healing, is in general just you bullsh*tting yourself because if it were really that easy, well you wouldn’t be here reading this article would you?

Many healers and psychics suffer from the arrogance that they think they can heal themselves, but here’s the thingYou don’t know, what you don’t know and our deepest wounding is in our blind spot, or to be more accurate neatly hidden in our subconscious mind.

This means that you either need hallucinogenics or someone else to help you access it. Personally I am not a fan of hallucinogenics even the ones produced by Mother Earth and so I have chosen to stay clear of those. Instead I have worked with other healers who have helped me see the parts of myself that I found most difficult to look at.

This is exactly where the problem also lies, you will not go as deep as you need to go on your own because it’s your trauma. It’s your own pain. It’s what you have been hiding from yourself for eons and eons. It’s buried under your deepest fears, your deepest shame, guilt, disgust, self-loathing and immense self-judgment.

How the f*ck do you think you are going to just access all this by yourself? How are you going to move past your own defense mechanisms that have kept this hidden from you all this time? You can get extremely far on your own, but to truly liberate yourself from your own imprisonment you will need external help and that is fine.

You aren’t any less of a healer or psychic for working with other healers, in fact working with others will only help you unlock your own gifts even deeper. Working with other healers will increase your own healing abilities and spiritual gifts, whether you already had them or you are just developing them.

As you can see spiritual ego is something we need to heal as well on this journey. It comes in all shapes and forms such as described above or through religious beliefs or following a guru. These things DO NOT replace the healing work that needs to be done. No matter how much you want them to. Faith healing is not a panacea that fixes all on the Twin Flame journey, God (the Universe) WORKS THROUGH people. On the other hand I have been receiving Darshan and blessings from various gurus since I was a child, NOBODY can free you for you – you have to do the INNER WORK.

Religion or being part of a religious organization can often give a false sense of spiritual attainment and a false sense of security, believing that your beliefs are based in the ultimate truth while others aren’t. But the truth is there is ONLY one truth and EVERYONE has unlimited access to it whether they belong to the same or a different religion as yours. There is only ONE God, that’s why the God of the Jews, Christians and Muslims is one and the same. There is only ONENESS and as long as you are practicing separation in your religion or religious practices – you are stuck in spiritual ego. Which means you are also stuck in the old 3D paradigm, no matter how spiritual you think you are.

If reading this pisses you off, it means I struck a nerve because otherwise my words wouldn’t affect you. Anything anyone else ever says can only sting, if it touches the pain you are already carrying inside.

Your healing has an agenda

Another reason why your healing will stagnate while you think you have already healed everything is because, you are healing with an agenda.

You are healing to get your Twin Flame back.

We have already established at the beginning of this article that we don’t heal for our twin, but the deep desire to be with your twin runs unfathomably deep and it shows up in many disguises.

Which is where surrender comes in. In my online program, the Inner Union Soul Alchemy program I have one complete module dedicated to surrender and it is the hardest thing to master on this journey. It’s also the ONE thing that keeps people stuck on their journey, more than anything else. Failing to surrender.

You see all the REAL healing comes when we let go of the agenda. All the TRUE insights come when we surrender and all the DOORS OPEN when we are able to LET GO. I’m not going to go in to the details of it all here as I do in the program module, but of course LETTING GO does not mean not wanting to be with your Twin Flame that’s just the other end of the spectrum. It’s what creates all the push/pull, the stop/go and the yes/no.

I did my greatest healing work after I surrendered. After I thought that I had already healed everything that I could think of, I found out what was really underneath and it was way more than I thought was still there. Deep wounding that I couldn’t access until I surrendered and relinquished control.

Wanting to be in a physical romantic relationship with the twin is an ego desire and I know some of you will immediately think, ‘No,it’s my soul’s desire!’ I know it is an extremely deep desire but hear me out. Your soul doesn’t NEED to have a physical relationship with your Twin Flame, in the same way that your ego craves it. Surrender is about releasing this ego craving and trusting that if you and your twin are meant to be, you will end up together.

If you are stuck in your Twin Flame journey because you feel you are FULLY HEALED but your twin isn’t changing his or her behavior, chances are you aren’t as healed as you think you are. Inner union is a prerequisite for true Twin Flame union, and you can’t come into inner union unless you relinquish ego control and surrender to your soul. As long as you are doing your healing work, to get something or to make someone else do something you are healing with an agenda which means you are basically not healing period. You are doing what you think you have to do, in order to GET WHAT YOU WANT. Which means that your ego is still running the show, no matter how much you sprinkle magic sauce over it to make it look spiritual.

It’s not the right time yet aka Divine timing

There are many reasons why your Twin Flame connection has not come together yet and they are all a matter of Divine timing.

The first reason is that YOU have yet not become who you are meant to be. You are still in the process of becoming your true self (instead of who you thought you were based on the fragmentation from past life wounding). In order to have an equal relationship, which is the signature of a 5D Divine partnership – you first need to know yourself so that you can show up as yourself in your connection with the other. Remember when you don’t know yourself on the deepest level, you will allow others to tell you who you are. If you allow others to tell you who you are, you can’t be an equal in a relationship. It’s that simple.

The second reason is that you haven’t reached inner union yet. In order to have these new paradigm relationships, we need to first shift into that new paradigm ourselves. I like to use a computer analogy, you can’t have a relationship 5.0 running on outdated 3.0 software or hardware – they are incompatible in nature. The whole system will crash if you try. So if you want a relationship 5.0 (you don’t really have any other option if this is your true Twin Flame) then you need to upgrade to 5.0 yourself first and that is full inner union with your soul. No, inner union does not mean union with the Twin Flame in energy. Inner union is you fully embodying your soul in the physical.

The third and final reason that you and your Twin Flame are not together at this time is because you aren’t aligned to true Twin Flame union yet. Once you have reached full inner union within yourself, the higher selves of the Twin Flame couple start preparing the outer union. This as every other step in the Twin Flame journey and union process is done step by step. The process of inner union for example took over 12 months to come into and fully integrate in my own journey. We started around April 2018 and full inner union was reached by the end of June 2019. These processes take time, because they serve a much higher cause than simply getting you into a romantic relationship with your beloved.

If you are coming into outer union, it will start showing up in your healing sessions. One of the most recent insights I have gotten around this is that as Twin Flames we have by our own choice been implanted with what you can call a homing device or matching magnets. We chose this so we would be able to find our way back to each other under the most difficult circumstances. These magnets are encapsulated when we start out our journey, covered with our own inner gunk and sludge that has still to be removed. The magnets pull us towards each other, but as there is so much covering them it weakens their working. Once we have done our inner work and reach full inner union, the magnets become freed and start working at optimum strength. This then pulls the Twin Flame couple towards each other. This can only happen after the inner work, because until that work has been done the magnets remain encapsulated and weakened in their effect to bring the couple together.

It’s all perfectly designed that way to ‘force’ us to upgrade first, so that we bring in these new relationship templates instead of rehashing the painful and toxic old paradigm templates that we first needed to deprogram ourselves of.

Granted if you are new to this journey, it may seem like a hell of a lot of work and something unattainable in this lifetime. It’s not. I started my Twin Flame journey in April 2014 when my twin and I connected on Skype through our work in online marketing. Until January 2017 I was going in circles like most Twin Flames, not getting anywhere fast. It took me from begin 2017 till mid 2019 to reach full inner union, that is 2,5 years which is basically not that long. In fact getting a college degree takes longer. So it is absolutely doable, as long as you do the right things and don’t waste your time fighting the connection or keep yourself busy with things that don’t make a dent.

I pray this article helps you understand the true nature of this journey and what you need to do to make it to the finish line.

If you are interested and excited to know how we can help you in your Twin Flame journey and Ascension process, check out the Tribe Mystery School for modern-day Initiates on the Twin Flame and Ascension path. In our signature program, the Inner Union Soul Alchemy Program we walk you step by step through the process of coming into inner union with your own soul. Inner union, is a prerequisite for true Twin Flame union and creating ‘Heaven on Earth’ from the inside out. You can also book an Akashic Record Clearing to release deep pain and trauma (including fears and false beliefs) from this and previous lifetimes.

Sending you love and light on your Ascension path and Divine partnership journey, you are forever protected and guided. All is well.

If this article resonates with you, please share it abundantly. Thank you.

Did this article help you in a significant way? Consider leaving a tip in our tipping jar. 🙏💗

Lots of love,

Sabriyé Dubrie

(Visited 6,360 times, 2 visits today)
  • 359

Sabriyé Ayana is the leading expert on the Twin Flame journey and inner union process. As a Twin Flame leader, teacher and healer she helps Twin Flames understand that this journey is not just about creating a fairy-tale and they lived happily ever after together... It's an initiation path to Ascension. Download the free Inner Union Soul Alchemy manuscript to find out more.