Are you constantly obsessing over your twin and your connection?
One of the most common experienced feelings on the Twin Flame journey, is that of obsession whether it’s a mild having them on your mind 24/7 to a full blown stalk-their-ass on social media and feeling frantic….
Or anything else in between.
At the same time this is one of the most misunderstood phenomenons in the Twin Flame dynamic, because we see it as a confirmation of how deep our feelings for the other are. How important that person is to us and how intense the connection with the other is.
But the truth is that Twin Flame obsession has little to do with the other or with your feelings for the other, it’s not about them – it’s about you.
You see Twin Flame obsession are your own wounds pulling you into healing. In the Twin Flame dynamic the other twin will usually pull back, when it’s time to go inside and face what wants to be seen, heard or felt within you. But because what is knocking on the door of your psyche is subconscious you project all that is being brought up on your Twin Flame.
You connect all the feelings you are feeling to the 3D reality you are experiencing with the twin, because that SEEMS to be the cause – when in fact that outer reality and situation ONLY serve to help you access your own subconscious wounding.
Combined with the fact that when the twin pulls back that this also triggers all your subconscious programs of fear of loss, fear of abandonment, lack of self worth and so on – you quickly get into a state of very frantic energy – which creates tunnel vision and get’s you focused on one thing and one thing only:
The romantic outcome you crave.
You know that friend that goes through life like an open wound and you can’t say anything to her because it will somehow trigger her to feel hurt, pull back or lash out?
We are all more or less all like that friend starting out on the Twin Flame journey and as I explained in my previous article on why Twin Flame unions are often delayed, healing these subconscious wounds is an important part of the transformation that the Twin Flame encounter has come to achieve in your life.
But what about all the signs?!
It certainly does not help that on this journey (especially when you are ready to throw in the towel), you get flooded with signs that seem to be connected with your twin.
In the Twin Flame Oneness group we often get legions of posts asking what the signs mean and many people think that they mean union is on it’s way – but it doesn’t.
Granted, when union comes you will most likely see signs as well, but signs are not there to point to union.
Signs are a confirmation that YOU are on the right path.
And they are a way for your higher self, your angels and guides to communicate certain messages to you. Seeing them doesn’t mean your twin is coming back to you, it doesn’t mean they will leave their ‘karmic’ or that union is within grasps.
This journey simply is NOT about ending up in a romantic relationship with the twin, the sooner you totally accept this – the better. I know you hate it when I say this because it triggers the f*ck out of you, because it makes you wonder if it’s not to end up with this person – why go through all this pain and suffering?
The answer is to be FREE!
You go through all this pain and suffering not to be able to be with the other but to free yourself of all the internal programming that has kept you stuck in an energy state of pain and suffering for lifetimes and lifetimes.
The signs are confirmation of this process that you are on the right track to free yourself and headed in the right direction. The signs apply to you, your path and the manifestation of your dreams. The cosmic joke being that through this freeing of the self, you actually become a vibrational match to the Divine partnership and union that you desire.
In the end you will get what you want, just not in the way you thought it would happen and maybe not even with the person you thought you wanted it with. Don’t get me started on how often I have witnessed people who were sure they were on the Twin Flame path, come into a very loving, happy and satisfying relationship with someone else.
One thing is for sure though, Divine partnerships can only be attained when you are free within. As long as you are in a state of frantic obsession and only focused on the outcome YOU want, you can’t have what you want because you are not a vibrational match to it.
This is why the majority of the Twin Flame collective is not aligned to the union they crave, because they are collectively stuck in this frantic energy of fear of loss, fear of abandonment and deep buried feelings of not being good enough – just to name a few. They are far from free within, because they are imprisoned by their own subconscious fears and false beliefs which keep them from having the very thing they want.
The role of the twin in all this
The problem with internal programming is that it is subconscious and even partly unconscious, so we don’t know that it’s there until someone starts poking their finger in it.
This is where the twin comes in….
You and your Twin Flame have a soul contract to bring each other home as part of your ascension journey. After playing the game of life for eons and eons, you have now arrived to a place where you are brought into position to assist planet Earth and it’s inhabitants to the shift into our new level of evolutionary consciousness – the 5th dimension.
Please download the free Gangsta Goddesses Manifesto to find out more about the Divine mission for Twin Flames and to understand why this really isn’t just another ‘boy meets girl’ love story or rainbow colored version thereof.
Both you and your twin. like all human beings carry in your subconscious mind and energy body (imprinted in the cellular body) many fears and false beliefs (misinterpretations of the truth) from past lifetimes – as your soul traveled through time and space to where you are now.
This immensely dense trauma energy that weighs down your personal vibrational frequency has to be released in order for you to be able to play your part in the grand scheme.
Trauma energy is below 200 on the vibrational frequency scale and we need to get our personal vibrational frequency to 500 and above, the only way to do that is to dump the dense energy that is weighing you down.
If you don’t release this dense energy within your own vibrational field, you yourself won’t be able to anchor into the 5th dimensional frequency, because your densified field keeps you locked into the old 3D paradigm reality (not to be confused with physical reality).
5D is not up there, all dimensions on the Earth plane are meant to be experienced as a physical reality – because that is of course what the Earth experience is all about. We are not human beings having a spiritual experience, but instead we are spiritual beings having a human experience.
You have to access 5D yourself first or be well on your way doing so, in order to assist in the planetary Ascension process that your soul has signed up for. It’s why you chose to incarnate in this point in time, under these circumstances and planned to meet up with your Twin Flame in this lifetime, because you are ready to go back home.
Most of the women then ask me ‘but why do I need to do all the healing and he gets to be with someone else?!‘ What most people don’t understand is that what the twin is or isn’t doing is all for the benefit of you. it is a real life simulation playing out to help you trigger all the deeply stashed away trauma that needs to be released. What many conceive as their connection going sour or going off track, is in fact EXACTLY what is needed to help them access the subconscious wounding that was locked away deep inside.
We would never be able to unlock this deep seated trauma without the help of this outside trigger or the enticing promise of union as a reward. So we chase the carrot the soul is dangling in front of us, the twin – because we would simply not be willing to do the work of unraveling ourselves and healing to the core without this incentive.
Yes, the soul would in a heartbeat, but starting out on this journey – most people experience a rift (separation) between their 3D self, the ego and their soul. So the higher selves use the Twin Flame to get the 3D self and ego on board of this adventure, that they would otherwise refuse to embark on. It’s a way to get all the aspects of the self on the same page and moving in the same direction, which of course is union within – marrying the three aspects of the self within, which closes the before mentioned rift and creates harmony within.
What is achieved within, must be reflected without and therefor this inner union and harmony will be reflected back to you in your physical life experience. We are forever attracting the same frequency match to the frequency that we ourselves resonate at.
Feelings of obsession are a signal that it’s time to turn inwards
The Twin Flame obsession is what gets us from where we were at the beginning of our journey to where we need to be in the end.
You can be fine for weeks and then all of a sudden out of nowhere you start obsessing about your Twin Flame and the outcome of the connection – in my experience this is because something is ready to be released or you are ready to make a quantum leap in your own evolution.
I am usually really relaxed and unworried about my own Twin Flame connection, except when I am about to make a quantum leap in my own journey and evolution – then suddenly all my focus is on my twin involuntarily. It’s as if I am being pulled toward him and just want to be in his energy.
I don’t know if this is because of fear of the unknown which is inevitable with quantum leaps. Or if it because there is a subconscious fear of losing the connection when you make big shifts in energy? Or if it’s clutching on to the familiar, the known and safety of what you know even if you have long outgrown the circumstances and they no longer serve you?
Maybe it’s a mix of all of the above, like a resistance you have to break through to get to the other side of the shift that you are being asked to make.
Over the past close to 5 years I have learned to see it as a signal to relax, surrender deeper and to turn the focus back on me.
To become silent and observe – what inside of me wants to be seen, heard or felt?
What leap in faith am I being asked to make?
I know when all my focus and attention gets drawn to him or that I start worrying about the outcome, its because I am ready for my next step and this is one of the ways how those steps show up on the Twin Flame journey – by feeling pulled massively towards the twin out of nowhere and for no apparent reason.
In my previous article I described a direct trigger that helped bring up subconscious wounding, but often times we are triggered indirectly as well and I wouldn’t be surprised if what we perceive as getting triggered out of nowhere is in fact getting triggered in energy through an energy impulse subconsciously coming from the twin that you pick up on.
The actual how and why is not that interesting, because it’s not under our control anyway. What is important is what to do when it shows up, these feelings of obsession and that is to first go within to look inside at what is going on internally and if you can’t figure it out on your own or you need help accessing the deeper layers – book a session with a healer.
9 times out of 10 it is utterly useless to reach out to the twin in these cases, because it’s not about the romantic connection or the obstacles you face. Like my twin brought through in one of our most recent sessions with a healer, it’s not about the love – there is plenty of love in their heart for you. It’s about everything else, which is different for everybody – but refers to the obstacles keeping you apart. His message was for me, but he basically represents the Divine Masculine collective in this because in true Twin Flame connections it’s never a question of not loving each other enough – it’s everything else.
These obstacles faced are not some cruel cosmic joke, they are there for your benefit because it is the experience of being locked into this person but not being able to be together that triggers all of the subconscious wounding that can only be brought to the surface this way. Like the pressure needed to create diamonds out of carbon. If the twin would give in, the pressure would drop and you would have the romance but not the transformation your soul craves.
This experience is different for those Twin Souls that need closeness to trigger their subconscious wounds. They come into ‘union’ much sooner but then need to work through their wounding while being together, which isn’t necessarily any much easier than those couples working through their wounds in separation.
It’s not uncommon to see that even those twins who are in a relationship together are often still kept apart by external circumstances, like different countries, sick or elderly parents that need looking after or other situations outside their control. This is because those situations create for them the experience they need at that moment. Also in these cases it’s no use to fight these outer circumstances, but instead look within to examine how you may be subconsciously contributing to the manifestation of these outer blocks.
Why it’s NEVER about the outer circumstances
The outer circumstances only ever serve to create inner shifts, this is something that I have witnessed without a doubt over and over again on my own journey and in working with my clients.
The outer reality is nothing but a real-time simulation (a virtual reality if you will) aimed at bringing up the inner wounding that the soul is ready to release.
One of the most recent ways this played out in my own Twin Flame connection, I shared in my previous article (that you can find here).
Today I’ll share the sequel to that story because there came a part II as a result of everything that was touched in me through this ‘I want my d*ck sucked so bad‘ message that I got two days after I arrived in India from my twin’s phone, which was apparently some juvenile and very ill timed prank from his so called friends…
I have discussed this personal example so openly because I want you to be able to recognize your own stories in mine. Even when they will differ in how they manifest, there is always a common ground that one can identify. In this case it’s all about the twin suddenly doing something fully out of character, that they otherwise normally don’t do.
If my twin would talk to me like this structurally, I wouldn’t even give him the time of the day. I don’t need a complex connection crossing the oceans, that revolves around sex. I can get sex everywhere and pretty much whenever I would like, at least I think so because it’s been a while since I had any hahaha.
I have been hanging in there with him, because this has been my first experience of true love I have ever experienced in my life. That is at least those rare moments in these past almost five years that my twin has allowed me close to him and allowed himself to express his love for me. Those moments shared and the energy exchanged which wasn’t even sexual, have been so deep, so profound and blissful – it blew me away and he felt the same.
But the truth is that in all these five years this has only been my experience 1% of the time, for the remaining 99% of the time my Twin Flame has ignored me, refused to talk to me, run away from me and in general done everything he could think of to keep me at distance. Yet, making sure to never close the door completely and never ever getting nasty with me no matter how much I pushed him or told him off. It was like he made this pact with himself to never let me go as he had promised me, but without getting emotionally involved so he couldn’t lose himself.
Basically he wanted his cake and eat it to, not in the general meaning but in the way that he wanted to keep me in his life and do what his family asked him to do – build a life and family with someone else.
Which led to the most idiotic situations you can imagine, for example the day after he confirmed the pregnancy I had dreamed he had come to tell me about – I lost it. Initially I had congratulated him on our chat on Facebook messenger, but the next day I let him have it! Asking him what the f*ck he was thinking making his wife pregnant when he didn’t even love her?!
I went bezerk that he was flinging around his sperm as if it was nothing now, when back when we were together we abstained from making love because he had told me that until he was sure he could stay with me – he didn’t want to risk getting me pregnant. Now, all of a sudden making babies wasn’t something that had to be considered carefully anymore because his mother blessed this marriage?! I was livid and went off on him for hours, he just endured it and waited for the storm to blow over as he by now knows it always does.
When someone allows you to say whatever the f*ck you want and accepts everything just so that they can keep you in their life, you’ve got a pretty screwed up dynamic going on between you. I wasn’t getting the love I wanted from him, in fact the only way I knew for sure that he loved me was because NO ONE in their right mind would put up with me going off on them like that, unless they loved me.
Any happily married man would have told me to f*ck off and blocked me.
Granted, he had come into my dream to tell me he was becoming a father. I did not go out to find this information. If he hadn’t done that I probably wouldn’t have known about it until after the baby was born, but knowing about the baby early on became an important part of my healing journey and probably his as well.
So it wasn’t like I went off on him out of nowhere, but yeah the pregnancy initially triggered me – especially because this was OURS. We had wanted nothing more than to have a child together. He was only 24 when he asked me what I wanted him to be in my life and it took me three days to figure it out and then I told him that I wanted him as my husband and I wanted his child. It was the happiest day of his life to hear me say this he had told me and here he was giving what was so sacred and important to us, to someone else without any thought or love involved – just because his mother told him to do so.
I quickly shifted into acceptance around the baby after that, but it goes to show you how much my twin was willing to put up with to keep me in his life the only way he could handle it – without getting too close himself.
Shifting the ‘love is pain’ programming inside myself
Without digressing too much, what I want to highlight here was the distortion of love we were both experiencing. Me by him not allowing himself to express his love for me directly, as he was simply not in the position to do so. Him putting up with everything the good, the bad and the ugly just to keep me in his reality, even when it was painful for him to be so confronted with my pain and him not being able to do it any differently – because this was the script we had both agreed to.
Which brings me to the grand finale this week, in one of the last sessions I had with my shamanic healer, she had told me that it was now time to fully tap into my own healing abilities and to stop relying on others to assist me. It was time to spread my wings and fly. Not that I suddenly didn’t need anyone anymore, but because it would help me anchor in my multidimensional being that I had tapped into, in my session with her. I needed to strengthen that shift by really stepping into this expanded version of me.
A couple of days later I woke up in the middle of the night with pain releasing from the left side of the sacrum, something I worked on extensively before and after the retreat I hosted in India. Remembering the instructions given to me I decided that this was as good a place to start as anywhere and so I called in healing energy and started working on this spot where the incest trauma experienced as a young child had been stored.
The next day as the morning progressed and my thoughts had been with my twin for several hours I was of course flooded with Twin Flame signs left and right. I made this huge shift in energy as I had reached a point that I refused to suffer any longer or to continue as we have. Me talking, him listening and only responding when he felt like it. I refused to be part of this dynamic any longer.
This to the core deep decision came through, that was so clear and so strong, it reprogrammed the ‘love is pain’ programming that I had been running for lifetimes and lifetimes and that had been activated by the incest of my father as a young child. Sexual abuse is known to equate love with pain in the subconscious mind, because the abuse is often performed by a loved one but at the same time inflicts pain both physically and emotionally.
I demanded and claimed my birthright to be in a loving Divine partnership with my Divine selection (whomever that was, twin or not – I was completely detached to the outcome) who adores me and cherishes me, etc. I was CRYSTAL CLEAR to the Universe about what I wanted to experience in a love relationship and the energy behind my intention has never been so focused or intense. I felt in that moment, that the force I was sending into the Universe was strong enough to move mountains.
It’s hard to explain because it took me many many attempts to get here. People often reading my articles think these are one time shifts, but they are not. I reached this point many, many times before – but never this deep, this authentic and with such conviction. It reminds me of the period of August 2017 when I claimed my birthright to live in unlimited abundance – which shifted my financial situation instantly. The next month I hit the 5 figures and that has been my experienced reality ever since, while still accumulating steadily,
I wasn’t saying to myself I deserve better than this, which I had done before. I wasn’t trying to convince my twin that I deserved better and more fair treatment from him (he is well aware of this). Part of the last shamanic healing session was leaving victimhood behind and owning that I am the creator of my Universe and again knowing this and LIVING this are not the same thing.
This intention coming through was non negotiable, this was me claiming my birthright to the Universe and demanding to experience true love and a Divine partnership as my physical reality with whomever is the Divine selection for me.
I wasn’t waiting on anyone or asking anyone to please give me…
I was commanding my reality to transform and the power behind that command was massive.
I am pretty sure my twin felt it as my intention has never been this strong or clear. It must have yanked on his energy as well, but I didn’t care one way or the other. This decision wasn’t geared towards him or meant to make him do anything. There was zero intent or expectation towards him. This intention was 100% about me and the life I wanted to live with him or without him.
I shifted out of the ‘love is pain’ programming in that moment and for the first time in many lifetimes I was free to experience love as true love once more. I felt it as it happened and it was confirmed in a psychic read the next day, that I had booked days before.
But I had to fully be willing to let my twin go, in order to do so. The baby who had just been born, had left me no choice but to let him go completely, To let go of any expectations, period.
To even just be friends.
It was only in hindsight that I saw how this big shift in energy had been the healing I had called in the night before. Clearing out this incest trauma wounding had been the anchor point for this ‘love is pain’ programming in my energy field – which had been brought up to be released by the raunchy text message at the beginning of my visit to India.
Whether I come together in a Divine partnership with my twin or someone better, this ‘love is pain’ programming had to go. Because as long as I subconsciously believed that to love a man and be loved by a man hurts, love would show up as a painful experience in my life. Which it had for as long as I can remember, starting with my father, my two ex-husbands and even my twin who also was incapable of showing his love for me in a loving way.
Their was such a strong correlation between my father’s sexual abuse which of course was love in the most perverted form and my twin who I would often say to ‘with friends like you, who needs enemies?’ His love for me also came out completely perverted, not sexually of course but also fully distorted from what his true feelings are for me or who he actually wants to be in my life.
As long as I attracted love in it’s perverted form (I am the master of my own Universe) through my subconscious beliefs and energy frequency, I would not be able to experience true love or have the Divine partnership I dreamed of, with my twin or anyone else.
Starting out on this journey, I had no idea that I subconsciously equated love with pain or that this had been the red thread in all my love relationships with men throughout my life. It was so deeply buried in my subconscious that it was just an unconscious program left on auto-pilot, creating havoc in my love life.
It took him painfully poking his finger in that faulty programming for close to five years, for me to get so fed up with the manifestation of this ‘love is pain’ programming that I was able to start seeing it and able to shift it.
And so that night I sent my twin a message sharing with him my BIG SHIFT into opening the floodgates to experience love as love, to experience true love and to come into alignment to the Divine partnership that is mine by Divine right. I thanked him for helping me come to this place of total alignment to my deepest heart’s desire. This was everything I had always wanted and for the first time in a long time, I had now become a vibrational match to it.
That is what this journey is about, completely freeing yourself to live your truth instead of living your wounding which most people here on Earth do. I hope through sharing my story in such detail, you start to see that this journey has never been about the other. It has always been about you and setting yourself free.
The other is just your partner in crime, to help get you there.
I pray that this article has given you a deeper understanding of the Twin Flame journey, the phenomenon of Twin Flame obsession and how to deal with the feelings of obsession on your own journey. If you need any help clearing out past lives and raising your vibrational frequency by releasing stuck trauma, you can book an Akashic Record Clearing with me.
If you are interested in walking the path I have walked to come to where I am now. I have created a step-by-step guide to the Twin Flame journey through my online program the Align to Your Divine Plan Twin Flame Mastery Program, that comes as part of The Twin Flame Tribe membership, together with an online Mastermind group to share your challenges and victories with fellow travelers on this journey.
Sending you love and light on your Ascension path and Divine partnership journey, you are forever protected and guided. All is well.
If this article resonates with you please share it abundantly. Thank you.
Lots of love,