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Are you dealing with a runner?
If you are on the Twin Flame journey, chances are that you will have dealt with your twin running from you and your connection at least once, if not multiple times. Especially if your twin initially reciprocated your feelings, it can be extremely difficult to understand and accept why they have suddenly changed their mind and often even appear to have lost interest in you.
It becomes even more confusing if over time after you have successfully chased them down, they admit still feeling the same way about you BUT then turn around and run some more. Why are they this contradictive, wishy-washy and non committal, if they consciously or subconsciously know that you are ‘the ONE’ for them too?
Do you know how often I have spoken Divine Feminines who’s Divine Masculine actually KNOW the truth of their connection, but they are together with someone else nonetheless?
I have lost count, there are so many.
Contrary to what other Twin Flame websites will have you believe, the grand prize of this journey is not the romantic outcome with your twin. Which DOES NOT mean that you will not be together with your Twin Flame (you can stop freaking out now!). But if ending up with the twin was what this whole journey was about, well then situations as the above simply wouldn’t happen at the rate they do. Divine Masculines would simply wake up to the truth of their Twin Flame connection, leave whomever they are with – declare their undying love to their Divine counterpart and ride off into the sunset and they would live happily ever after.
Yet, that is not how it often plays out in real life. In fact many Divine Masculines get into relationships with other people EVEN when they have already recognized their Divine counterpart and the immense depth of their connection with them. This makes literally no sense for them to do so and it is what makes it so hard for the twin left behind, to wrap their head around.
How can you know who I am and still not choose to be with me?
For those of you still earlier on in this cat and mouse game, or hide and seek as I used to call it in my own connection – do not be surprised even if this person does not give you the time of day at this moment, when they turn around and tell you they have deep feelings for you as well.
I will never forget one of my Tribe Mystery School clients, messaging me that she had purchased the Tribe but wasn’t sure if she was really a Twin Flame because the guy she loved wanted nothing to do with her. Only a couple hours later she sent me a message telling me the impossible had happened, this guy who had wanted nothing to do with her had reached out, out of nowhere to let her know that he had feelings for her as well.
In fact after my twin ran out on me in one month, we didn’t really speak again until around eight months later. In that phone call my twin admitted that he had not been able to forget about me either and that I was the last person on his mind when he went to sleep at night. I am considerably older than my twin and he was even banging a hot 20 something year old girl to try to forget about me, but he had to admit that it had not worked. He had never kissed me, touched me or made love to me at that time and he wasn’t ‘getting some’ online with me either, that was just not how we spent our time together.
Running simply says nothing about how the runner really feels about you deep in their heart, it’s often more about them dealing with their own taboos and stuff they need to face. My clients twin was twice her age and used to be her boss, he had to get to terms with the fact that he was feeling all these feelings for someone he felt was too young for him.
My twin who is born and raised in India, has always known that he had to agree to an arranged marriage and a woman that his family would pick to be his wife and mother of his children. Then he fell in love with me, mother of three, considerably older than him and twice divorced. I was a threat to everything that he had been conditioned to believe and taught to obey.
But even those reasons aren’t the real reason your twin is running, something that we will get into deeper later on in this article and if you ask them why they do what they do – the truth is they can’t explain you why. They have no justification for their behavior and often feel guilty, because they know that they are hurting you and you are the last person on Earth they want to see hurt. The way they treat you while running is in fact the opposite of how they want to be with you, but something deeper inside of them is making them act the way they do instead of being with you in the deep way they desire to be.
The 7 deadly ‘sins’ of Twin Flame runners
We of course know the seven deadly sins within Christianity which are; pride, greed, wrath, envy, lust, gluttony, and sloth. In this article however we are going to explore the seven deadly ‘sins’ of Twin Flame runners which are; ghosting, benching, rejection, abandoning, no commitment, wishy-washiness and no integrity. This is of course meant a little bit with tongue in cheek, as your Divine counterpart who is running is of course not committing a sin by doing so.
In fact the original meaning of the word sin meant something completely different, than what most of us – no matter our religion of origin, were taught to believe. The original meaning of sin is to ‘miss the mark‘ and so what I will be explaining in this article is actually how we at the receiving end of the runner’s behavior often ‘miss the mark‘ in interpreting what their action mean. We experience them as faults on their end and blame them for holding up our happily-ever-after, but are we right to do so?
Let’s first explore the often different ways that runners are running:
By the way if you are new to this website make sure to download the free Twin Flame Inner Union Soul Alchemy manuscript, we surveyed our readers and close to 90% of the respondents told us that reading it, had changed their perception of the Twin Flame journey.
3D Disclaimer: In a 3D relationship many of the below behaviors also show up in toxic relationships. It is for you, the reader to discern that you are really dealing with a Twin Flame relationship, or if this person is just a player. You can use the fool-proof test to ask the Universe to confirm your connection. Another indication that this person is a Divine counterpart and not just someone trying to take advantage of you is, that there will be no obvious benefits for them to hold on to the connection. In toxic relationships these behaviors are often used to get hookups, that lead to real-life or virtual sex. Sex is NOT the driving force in Twin Flame connections. If your person only comes around when they are horny, that is a pretty solid indication that their interest in you does not reach their heart chakra, but is stuck in their loins.
Sin #1 Ghosting you – not responding
So, one of the primary ways that runners run, is by ghosting you (read a previously written article about ghosting here). This is how it started for me with my Twin Flame, I had spoken to him in the morning and he had promised me we would talk in the evening and he simply never showed up online. I texted him and called him and he ignored all of my attempts to get a hold of him. It was like he had vanished into thin air, when only one week before he had told me that it was the happiest day in his life that I had wanted him as my husband and father of my child.
I didn’t speak to him again for another six weeks, at least that is what I thought. We worked together and he had pretended to be his business partner (they had a joint Skype account that everyone used), until one night after we wrapped things up he said ‘Goodnight gori‘. My heart made a somersault because nobody called me that except him, coming from anyone else it could have even been considered an insult but this was his pet name for me. Gori means beautiful/light skinned/foreigner as in that it can be used in all three ways, my twin used it to call me beautiful.
I moved the conversation to Whatsapp and his personal response was short, he said that he didn’t know how to say goodbye to me and so he just disappeared. He had hoped to be able to keep me as their client, but he couldn’t keep his feelings for me and business separated. He abruptly went quiet again and we didn’t speak to each other again for months.
Sin #2 Benching you – keeping you warm for later
In that time in between I would send him emails and texts that he would read but not respond to. At one time a couple months later, he replied once saying that he loved hearing from me and me sharing my life with him. I had already started healing deep trauma from this lifetime at that time and I would share with him my healing journey.
Little did I know, although I had my suspicions that he was seeing someone else at that time. Even later in 2015 when he had let me back into his life, there was someone else that he was dating but nonetheless he kept coming closer and closer telling me how much I meant to him and how much he wanted to have me in his life forever. By August 2015 he was even describing how he wanted to make love to me….
Only a couple of days later I was unexpectedly invited to his best friend’s wedding and he didn’t speak to me again until I was in India. One of his friends had tried to warn me that my twin was involved with someone else, but my twin denied it. That friend later made a pass at me (long distance) and I immediately told my twin, who confronted his friend and they had a fight about me. According to the friend it was more about his feelings for this other girl, but that didn’t really make any sense because why would my twin show interest in me if he was so crazy about this girl – I was far, far away from him.
When my twin and I finally met for the first time in November 2015, it was literally days before we were intimate with each other. He was holding off because it was inappropriate he felt as we were in the village family house of his best friend and most of all he could not afford to get caught as nobody knew about us, nor would they approve. Nonetheless, we were sleeping in each other’s arms after day two or three when the friend who had almost caused us to break apart, brought my twin to my bedroom in the middle of the night as a peace offering. On the night of the wedding itself, my twin immediately drove back to the house after me so that he could be with me one more night before we all had to go back to Delhi.
Once back in his hometown where I had booked a hotel, he came the very first night visibly upset and wanting to talk. He wanted to be the one to tell me that he had not been honest and had been seeing someone else, who had gotten engaged to another man while I was there. However, he also made very clear that that relationship did not compare to our connection and that if it was up to him, we would already be together and have everything that we always talked about. He was referring to me talking about, our baby that I had felt close to me since the beginning of March 2015 shortly after he and I reconnected. I remember my twin was extremely nervous about telling me and very worried about my reaction.
This has been a pattern in our connection though that my twin will say anything to keep things open between us. He has never been able to completely shut the door on me and our connection, not even after he got married or had his first child. He wouldn’t even block me when I got upset with him and gave him a piece of my mind on several occasions. After his marriage he promised me, that even though he didn’t know if he would ever leave his wife that if he did he would be on the first plane the very next day to be with me. So, even when he was off the market he wanted me to know he still wanted to be with me. We will come back to this later.
I think what really differentiates ‘benching’ in Twin Flame connections from the normal 3D version, is that it is truly about keeping you warm to be able to pick up where you left off relationship-wise and not sexually. Most often men and probably women too, use benching to be able to come back and score sexually later. Let’s just be honest, most of these tactics are used simply to be able to come back for sex, but not have an actual relationship with someone.
You will not see this in Twin Flame connections, because they don’t revolve around sex. My twin and I for example have not been sexual with each other since 2015. His promise was not made in the heat of the moment. It wasn’t something said while having sex, that sounds good but is for the rest meaningless. He had no reason to promise it to me, other than that this was really what he felt in his heart for me.
Sin #3 Rejecting you – taking back their love, etc…
But before that he actually threw me out of his life and blocked me nearly everywhere, except on Facebook and Instagram (how would he otherwise be able to keep tabs on me?). He blocked me in April 2016 but then picked up the phone when I called him on his birthday end of July. He had me talk about myself and then promised to be in a wifi-area in 10 minutes but of course he chickened out on me. Plus he had gotten the reassurance that he wanted, that I was doing well.
In April 2016 we had, had this grand dispute in which he told me that he admired me, but that he didn’t love me the way I thought he did. When I pushed for an answer that made sense, he couldn’t give me one. He told me to just blame him, it was his fault. I told him, he was going to take his words back which he did one year later but at that moment he just left and refused to talk further.
Now, I didn’t believe a word he had said, but I did respect the boundary that he had pulled up. Especially when he followed up by blocking me on Whatsapp and Viber when I tried to continue the conversation. So, I let go and accepted that even though it wasn’t true what he was saying and we both knew it, he wanted it to be true and I needed to allow him to explore that reality.
Little did I know that his mother particularly had hurried things along when she got wind of what we really meant to each other. She had known about me and my presence in India, but he had told her that I was a client. My twin did unblock me after my birthday call as promised, but blocked me again a couple months later when I increased my pressure on him to choose us – not knowing that he was about to get engaged with a girl that his family had chosen for him.
Sin #4 Abandoning you – pulling you close and then running away
It’s now the end of January 2017 and my twin shows up in my dreams to tell me that he is getting married, but that he will love me forever. That same morning a Skype bot sends me a message, telling me my twin is on Skype and if I want to send him a message. I tell him about the dream I had, but I am not sure if he ever read the message….
Because that day, was the first day of his three day wedding ceremony and on Sunday I woke up to my team messaging me that something was wrong. They sent me a picture of my twin in a ceremony and I reached out to a mutual friend that confirmed the marriage taking place that day. I tried to reach my twin, but he didn’t pick up his phone. I didn’t want to insist because I didn’t want to ruin this day or experience for him.
So, instead I sent him a message that he read on his wedding night saying that this was not what we had both wanted, but that we had to trust that somehow something good was going to come of this for him, me and his wife.
Due to the dream I was relatively calm, because my higher self had shown me that this was my response in the higher realms. But it of course still hurt and it hurt a lot. I couldn’t sleep for three nights, it had been such a shock to my system. My solar plexus felt as if it had been hit by a sledge hammer and in the end looking back I had a lot of childhood trauma to address, when I had never before saw my childhood as other than relatively happy and normal. Little did I know, that I had suppressed a lot of what had happened to me as a child because it was too painful.
I am not sure I allowed myself to feel abandoned at that time, but that is what had happened or so it seemed. After all the hints towards his feelings for me and all the broken promises, he married someone else not because he loved this person but because this is what his family wanted for him. In a way in that moment, he also abandoned himself because this was not the person he wanted to grow old with. Yet, being taught all his life that pursuing his personal happiness is selfish, he did what he was conditioned to do and that was sacrifice himself to make his family happy.
Sin #5 No commitment – I love you, I want to be with you, but….
In toxic 3D situationships this is always used to create distance and casualty. It allows the other to be able to have the milk without buying the cow. In Twin Flame connections non-commitment is more common than you would think and the reason behind it is often much more authentic. It isn’t used as a way to have your cake and eat it too as in many 3D situationships, instead there is a genuine desire to want to be with you but a legitimate reason why they feel they cannot.
The player/commitment phobe always comes up with his/her lame excuse of losing the love of their life and now not being able to love anyone else in such a way. Basically setting you up to do everything under the sun to earn/deserve their trust and love, a game you cannot win – no matter how much you try. Your Twin Flame, won’t come with that line because YOU ARE THE LOVE of their life,
I already shared my own experience with ‘I love you, I want to be with you, but….’ and some of my other clients. It literally comes in all shapes and forms and always revolves around the BIGGEST obstacle that is keeping you apart (read an article hear about Twin Flame obstacles).
These obstacles show up as:
- a large age difference
- long distance between them
- cultural differences
- religious differences
- racial differences
- unethical relationships (doctor/patient, lawyer/client, employer/employee, etc.)
- class differences
- a different sexual orientation (one is gay, the other heterosexual)
- same sex twins
- mental illness or addiction (read this article here to find out why these are obstacles)
- existing or new third party relationships
- death/disembodiment (not being alive in this lifetime)
It’s really not that they don’t want to commit or have commitment issues (although that could be true as well) it’s that they can’t see how to overcome the Twin Flame obstacle that is casting a taboo on your union.
In my case it’s a large age difference, long distance, cultural differences, seemingly religious differences (although not really), racial differences and a third-party relationship (we check off 6 out of 12 obstacles possible) – which is also why my twin has not found it easy to overcome those obstacles. Especially because he comes from a very shame sensitive society.
But the taboo can also show up in other ways, one of my clients found her Twin Flame in her same sex reiki healer who is married to a man. My client is gay, but her twin doesn’t identify as being lesbian – despite the fact that SHE was the first to recognize my client as her Divine counterpart. To further complicate matters, the reiki healer is not only married but Muslim which makes it even more difficult for her to divorce her husband to be with a woman, because it is considered haram (forbidden) in her religion.
My Tribe Mystery client’s Twin Flame was initially her boss and twice her age, that was a big no-no for him and could have otherwise landed him in a sexual harassment case as there were some very unequal power dynamics going on there both as the employer as through the large age difference. After she left the company and he got over himself, he felt much more comfortable reciprocating her feelings for him and he started pursuing her.
Sin #6 Wishy-washiness – first they are hot then they’re cold
‘Cause you’re hot then you’re cold. You’re yes then you’re no. You’re in then you’re out. You’re up then you’re down. You’re wrong when it’s right. It’s black and it’s white. We fight, we break up. We kiss, we make up. (You) You don’t really want to stay, no. (You) But you don’t really want to go-o. You’re hot then you’re cold. You’re yes then you’re no. You’re in then you’re out. You’re up then you’re down. We used to be Just like twins. So in sync. The same energy. Now’s a dead battery…’
Katy Perry must have written this song, with her Twin Flame in mind – it so adequately describes all the back and forth, the push and pull and the stop and go energy between Divine counterparts.
Why do we both magnetize and repel our Twin Flame, you may ask?
Superficially this is simply a result of the inner conflict within the Divine counterpart. On the one hand they feel this intense strong desire to be with you and at the same time whatever is blocking your connection is pulling them in the other direction.
Another one of my Tribe Mystery School client’s twin is still married, he was ready to leave his wife to be with my client – until the wife threatened him that if he left her, he would never see his kids again. He caved in and stayed, but even though he didn’t divorce his wife – he can’t let go of his twin either. They are not having an affair, but he finds ways to stay in touch with her without his wife knowing that my client is still an important part of his life.
My twin used to tell me that when we are together it feels so good and exactly how it is meant to be, but then after we say goodbye he get’s lost in his own negative thinking about how we could ever really be together indefinitely. The deeper reason behind this typical Twin Flame dynamic, I will explain further on in this article.
Just to be clear when we are talking about being hot and cold in a Twin Flame context, it does not relate to sex. We are talking about the love connection and the deep desire to be together, not just the desire to get into someone’s panties. Some guys fake disinterest, to keep a girl coming back for more. Just as some women play it cool, to hook a guy in. Twin Flames don’t play these games with each other, their interaction with each other is genuine and deep – there is no way to fake that.
But that is not to say, that there isn’t some fibbing going on from time to time – my own story is a good example of this. Although my twin did fess up to me in person that he had been seeing someone else and I was not thrilled about it, I also understood why he felt he needed to do so.
When he had described to me a couple of months before how he had wanted to make love to me, he had told me that he had not had sex in quite a while. Then out of nowhere he heard that I was coming to India, just days after this intense intimacy and six months of me talking about our baby that I had felt around me. My twin was fascinated by this baby talk and he kept coming closer and closer, but then I was going to be right there with him and he freaked out.
As it is, if I would have wanted to I could have blown his mind – had him penetrate me and likely impregnate me, but you don’t do that to someone you love. Instead I respected, however far he was willing to go with me. Being a hot stud in his then late twenties, I understood that he did not want to come to me starving for sexual intimacy. I think his plan was to be so satisfied that he would be able to keep his hands off of me, period.
But when it came down to it, he was unable to stay away and allowed himself as much closeness as he felt was possible without betraying his family and that was the thing, this other relationship with this girl was completely safe. She was getting married to someone else and he was getting married to someone else and in the meantime, they enjoyed a strong chemistry as my twin put it. This was easy, because she did not have the ability to pull on his heart strings in the way I did.
Sin #7 No integrity – their actions and words don’t match
This brings me back to the many broken promises my twin made me, such as now that he had me in his life – even if he got married he never wanted to let me go (August 2015) and then later in April 2017 his promise that if he would ever leave his wife, he would be on the plane the very next day to come to be with me. Both things he said meant the world to me and yet they were utterly useless, because right after he said that in 2015 he went back to this girl that he was seeing before (or maybe the whole time) and he refused to speak to me until I was in India three months later.
I was utterly moved by his promise in April 2017 especially because he didn’t need to say it, he could have just maintained that he didn’t have romantic feelings for me as he had claimed the year before at the beginning of April. Yet, by December 2018 he became the father of his first child which seems a bit disingenuous to either me or his wife as he was lying to at least one of us about his true feelings. I kid you not, but he showed up in my dreams in August 2018 to tell me that he was going to be a father. He was utterly perplexed when I messaged him the next day to congratulate him. Had I become a psychic? I even knew before his best friend, thanks to the dream visit. His best friend, who had initially introduced us to each other was not amused.
To be honest the closer I got to inner union with my own soul, the thicker the barrier of obstacles between us seemed to become. And yet the baby eventually helped clear out so many of the energetic obstacles between my twin and I that were mainly from past life trauma and karma between us that still needed to be resolved.
However, in the end this is what caused me to cut all ties with my twin six months ago when I found out that he had lied about changing his phone number not just once, but multiple times. This was such an unnecessary lie, he could have just told me that he didn’t want me to call on his phone because his wife might find out. Instead, he started this elaborate lie that in the end like all lies eventually do, caught up with him 1,5 years later. We had talked multiple times in between, he even sent me a proud picture of his baby boy after he was born.
I mean even if I would like, I could reach out to him now and he would most likely fall all over himself to pick up my call and apologize – he always has in the past. But, you know what I simply grew tired of him not keeping his word. I grew tired of the empty words, the broken promises and the same old same old in which no matter how much he misses me, no matter how much he wants to talk to me – he waits for me to reach out to him.
I don’t mean that I am angry with him, I mean that I was simply no longer willing to participate in this one-sided exchange with someone who had told me over and over again how important I am to him – but then treats me worse, than his worst enemies. Words of affirmation are my dominant love language, which makes me an absolute sucker for words but at some point those words need to be backed by congruent actions because otherwise they become nothing but beautiful sounding lies….
But the thing is that you can’t make people put their money where their mouth is, you can only let go of the people that fail to do as they say because they are a constant disappointment when they make promises that they do not keep. It took me years of deep healing, in order to be able to authentically walk away without any hidden agendas or hope to somehow subconsciously ‘make’ him change his mind.
I firmly believe that being able to do so, is a prerequisite for coming into true Twin Flame union. Simply because you cannot have what you CLING to, you have to be willing to walk away and not have your desire, as much as you want your desire to be fulfilled. Way too many Divine Feminines hold on for dear life to the most crappy behavior, because they are afraid that if they let go they will lose this person forever. If that is the case so be it, because if it is, you have been clinging to an illusion anyway. This concept of neutrality and non-attachment are some of the many things I teach my students in the Tribe Mystery School.
What Twin Flame running is really about
But there is a deeper reason why your twin exhibits any or all of the above behaviors, to which I have already alluded in sharing my own story of how my Twin Flame journey went down over the years, since we met online in April 2014.
You see, all this back and forth and especially the push/pull dynamic is to help you release deep trauma and karmic vibrational residue from this lifetime (childhood) and previous lifetimes. Your souls use both closeness and distance to bring up deeply buried subconscious wounds, we didn’t even know that were there.
Within the Twin Flame community the mirror exercise has become infamous, but is often used in the wrong way. If for example your twin is rejecting you, the question becomes how are you rejecting yourself? Or how are you abandoning yourself? If your Twin Flame is in a third party relationship, how are you not choosing yourself? And although these may be valid questions, the approach is too oversimplified and way too superficial – because the causes are much more deep and complex.
For example abandonment could be an inner child trauma from this lifetime, but it could very well be a past life trauma from a previous experience in another lifetime that you have left unresolved. Much of our current life drama, are bleedthroughs of past life trauma (read this article here) into our day to day life. Rejection, especially if it is self-rejection is a karmic pattern that you have likely been trying to heal over many consecutive lifetimes.
Sometimes our subconscious traumas from both this lifetime and previous lifetimes were so extremely painful that they are stuck deeply inside our psyche. It is exactly these shocking experiences with our Twin Flame that help us open these long forgotten places inside ourselves, so that we can heal them once and for all.
I was sexually abused by my father as a toddler, something that neither I nor my family was aware of had happened. My mother worked as a nurse and would work night shifts, leaving me and my half-sisters in my father’s care never suspecting that he was not to be trusted with us alone – he was our father after all.
These deep inner child wounds were broken open for me, through my Twin Flame marrying someone else. His utter betrayal of our love, subconsciously reminded me of the utter betrayal by my father that I had completely repressed and dissociated. I had completely ‘forgotten’ what had happened, but subconsciously I remembered and the experience had made me see the world and men through the lens of my trauma.
Like many survivors of childhood sexual abuse, I had great difficulty feeling safe. But because I had repressed the memory (so-called forgotten it had happened), there didn’t seem to be anything in my childhood that justified me feeling unsafe. Looking back this was laughable, because as a teenager another situation happened that had nothing to do with sexual abuse that increased my sense of feeling unsafe in the world. But because it was my own life, I thought it was normal. I thought I had, had a normal childhood because I had never been severely beaten, raped or locked in the attic or basement.
In my first marriage my husband started hitting me almost immediately but because he never left marks, in the way that my father had beaten my mother – could it be called domestic violence? What I am trying to say is that we tend to downplay our own experiences because they may be less extreme than other people we know, but also because this is ALL we know.
It is normal to us, even when being touched inappropriately by your father or being hit by your husband are NOT normal and is not how it should be. I recently read a short essay by a woman who was sex trafficked by her father from a very young age, it never occurred to her that her circumstances were not normal because this was what she was used to (she had been conditioned to think that being passed around to strangers was normal – you can read her story here).
Because these unresolved traumas affect who you are (or think you are) and how you show up in the world they need to be healed. We ALL carry unresolved trauma in our psyche, trust me you are not the exception to the rule. But all this trauma energy which is very heavy and dense energy, has to be released as part of our Ascension process (read the Inner Union Soul Alchemy manuscript to truly understand the connection between Twin Flames and Ascension).
The Twin Flame, helps us through these experiences, find all these places inside ourselves where we are holding onto fears, false beliefs and unresolved trauma. Their doing so, is in fact an act of the highest love because until we release all of this gunk and sludge it attracts to us the people, situations and experiences that we live.
Like Swiss psychiatrist and founder of psychoanalysis Carl Jung said:
“Until you make the unconscious conscious, it will direct your life and you will call it fate.”
How to finally stop attracting this kind of behavior
The problem with these labels that we use to describe the twin’s behavior is that it is to blame them and make them wrong for treating us in such ways, but like I said it’s us that are missing the mark not them. We are misunderstanding the purpose and intention behind their behavior. We are making and taking it personally, when it has never been about their feelings for us.
They are merely sticking to the script that you both agreed on, on a soul level. Your soul wanted to heal these places inside of you that are hurting so badly, that you didn’t even realize that were there because you thought it was ‘normal’. Your Twin Flame is your ally in breaking lose from the old 3D paradigm, so that you can ascend into the higher 5th dimensional state of consciousness and state of being that your souls long to return to.
But, here is the thing no matter how much you try – you cannot change the other. Also not the woo-woo way by (ab)using energy to get what you want.
You can only ever change yourself.
You are the attraction point for this behavior showing up in your reality and when you heal the causes inside of you (and this does NOT mean you are to blame) the people treating you like sh*t will either change or leave your life.
When you release these trauma and karma patterns, they stop attracting people, situations and experiences in your life that help you play them out. It really isn’t about getting other people to change how they show up in your life, it’s about changing how you show up in the world. The more you are healed and whole inside yourself, the more your life will mirror you back this wholeness and healing. It is really that simple.
But it all starts with you…..
Why you need to stop chasing ‘union’
The simple truth is that you cannot have a runner without a chaser.
So, you need to stop chasing – because you can’t expect the runner to stop running as long as you are chasing them.
Now, don’t get me wrong…
I understand how much you deeply and utterly desire a romantic outcome with your special person, we all do. Every single person that has met and recognized their Twin Flame, dreams of being together with them, this is also true for those offering Twin Flame products and services. The only way to become an expert on the Twin Flame journey is by being on it.
But let’s be real with each other, there aren’t that many Twin Flames together with their twin or in union. I am just going to be smack honest with you, even those claiming to be in Twin Flame union are either stretching the truth (and some are even lying) or they are in a physical relationship with their twin, but that’s not the same as Twin Flame union. And I am sorry to report that many of those relationships with Twin Flames are the same as normal 3D relationships and sometimes even toxic to boot.
Why you may ask? Because to come into true Twin Flame union you have to first come into inner with your own soul and most people don’t know how or can’t be bothered to do the inner work necessary to achieve this. You also see this in the products and services being offered in the Twin Flame stratosphere, they all focus on the romantic outcome – because that is what the market wants. It’s just a question of supply and demand, but you buy empty promises when you invest your money in this. These solutions don’t work.
The reason why they don’t work is because this journey is NOT about the romantic outcome and that is paradoxical because romance is of course the driving force behind all your efforts, but it is also paradoxical because even though this journey is not about romance you may end up together nonetheless.
But here is the thing and please listen to me carefully, because I am going to lay it out for you.
- You have never met anyone like this person and this person makes everyone else seem unattractive.
- Chances are that this person is not able or willing to give you what you want, it doesn’t really matter why because the end result is the same – they are not together with you.
- You want to forget about them if you can’t have them, but that seems impossible because you feel this immense pull towards them and they seem to be on your mind 24/7.
- At some point you may think that the best way to get over somebody, is to get under someone else – but you will find like many others that the Universe is c*ckblocking you.
- Or alternatively you will meet a twin clone (someone who is the replica of your twin), go on a date on Tinder only to find out this new guy mysteriously turns out to be your twin’s close friend or other similar scenarios.
- Until you realize that there is NO way off this roller coaster ride, you are stuck. You can’t have who you want, you can’t forget about this person and for various reasons you can’t replace them either – this can be because no one can live up to the high bar set by your twin or because the Universe seems to be scr*wing with your love life.
In short if you are truly on the Twin Flame journey, you are totally scr*wed.
And no guided meditation or activation is going to help you get unscr*wed.
However this is not some sick joke that the Universe is playing on you, I promise. All this has a reason and that is to leave you NO OTHER CHOICE but to face all the subconscious wounds that your soul wants to heal in this lifetime. You see this whole process is custom designed to align you to what you really want and that is to become someone who can have and hold harmoniously the high vibrational frequency of Twin Flame union.
In order to do so, you first need to enter unity consciousness inside yourself.
This is why 99.9% of the products and services being offered in the Twin Flame stratosphere DON’T WORK, because they try to get you the romantic outcome without actually doing the inner work. But that’s like wanting to lose weight using weight loss pills while binging on pizza and ice cream, instead of eating fruit and vegetables. It’s not going to work, because you aren’t doing what you need to do in order to lose weight. Similarly, those guided meditation and union activations or even worse psychic readings don’t address the real underlying issues that need to be addressed. They can’t substitute the real inner work that needs to be done.
The only way OFF of this insane roller coaster ride, is by facing what wants to be healed head on and doing the inner work that needs to be done. It’s the ONLY way out.
I pray that this article has helped you better understand the purpose of runner behavior and how it is actually an act of the highest love that your Divine counterpart is giving you to help you become the person you need to be to be able to HAVE and to HOLD union in a 5th dimensional Divine partnership. Part of that preparation process is unlearning and deprogramming all the old paradigm 3rd dimensional toxic romantic love templates that cancel out the attainment of a higher vibrational union. There are no shortcuts, there are no cheat codes that miraculously get you into union, it is a deep process of transformation that needs to happen internally.
I am here to help you with it.
If you are interested and excited to know how we can help you in your Twin Flame journey and Ascension process, check out the Tribe Mystery School for modern-day Initiates on the Twin Flame and Ascension path. In our signature program, the Inner Union Soul Alchemy Program we walk you step by step through the process of coming into inner union with your own soul. Inner union, is a prerequisite for true Twin Flame union and creating ‘Heaven on Earth’ from the inside out. You can also book an Akashic Record Clearing to release deep pain and trauma (including fears and false beliefs) from this and previous lifetimes.
Sending you love and light on your Ascension path and Divine partnership journey, you are forever protected and guided. All is well.
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Lots of love,