“And that’s why you are not in union..” and other nonsense people throw at you on the Twin Flame journey

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Being a moderator in a big free group for Twin Flames brings up interesting subjects and really allows me to see what themes are playing out in the twin collective. Providing ample inspiration for another myth busting article on union – which many of you see as the highest and most desirable outcome of this journey.

In fact I find the Twin Flame collective often almost tyrannical in their demand for the romantic outcome they crave. It’s for many the only thing they want to hear – that you will end up with your special someone. When it’s exactly this desperately clinging to the romantic outcome, that keeps so many of you running in circles on this journey.

High time for a reality check and to rattle your belief system about UNION – because those believes are what are keeping you out of alignment to the frequency of true union and the experience the Twin Flame journey has come to create in your life.

If you really want to move forward on your Twin Flame journey, you have to become okay with the idea that you and who you believe to be your twin may never end up together. As long as that idea is triggering the living sh*t out of you – you are stuck on the merry go round through your own fears.

Myth #1 – Twin Flames in ‘union’ are further than twins in separation

Because union is seen as the GRAND prize on the Twin Flame journey, couples who claim to be in union tend to be put on a pedestal because they have it made. They have achieved what others are desperately seeking to achieve.

Until you get a shot behind the scenes of these so called unions. The problem is that people confuse a physical relationship with Twin Flame union, which are not one and the same. In Twin Flame land you can get yourself a partner, call yourself Twin Flames and tell everyone you are in Twin Flame union and quite a few of the very prominent Twin Flame teachers have done exactly this. Some have even proclaimed union number 2, number 3 and one particular person active as a Twin Flame teacher and reader is I believe onto union number 6 or so.

Also many of my clients in ‘union’ are not to be envied, one client finally got to marry her twin after many years but resents him for taking so long. They are now much older than when they met, over their sexual prime and so she also resents not having him when he was more sexually capable. Another client was pregnant with her twin, but contemplating abortion till the very last minute while he was publicly humiliating her over and over again.

This is not to say that being with your twin is going to s*ck, it’s just to make you aware of the fact that being together with your Twin Flame is not the be all end all that most people make of it in their head. Being in a relationship with your twin will NOT magically fix all of your issues that you have both failed to address prior to being together, instead it will magnify them – because they stand in the way of a true Twin Flame union.

You see the souls use closeness and distance (separation) to bring up the inner wounding.

I have clients who are now together and some even married to their Twin Flame who have done only a fraction of the healing work others have been required to do, to have the same result. This is because they had little wounding that needed separation to heal it and more wounding that needed closeness in order to work through it. It’s like Yin and Yang, you can’t say one is more valuable than the other, as both are needed to create the balanced whole.

What does seem to be true is that the process get’s a lot messier and intense when you have to do it up close and personal. Twin Flame separation s*cks big time, but for many of the subconscious wounding that we need to heal on this journey, it is the only route and it tends to be less confronting or painful this way.

However no matter what your current circumstances are, they are hardly a matter of choice on a 3D self level – it is what the soul has chosen in order to fulfill it’s objective for this lifetime.

Myth #2 – You need a Twin Flame teacher or healer who is in union to come into union

Another big myth in Twin Flame land is the idea that you need a teacher or a healer that is in union, to come into union. I have yet to meet any Twin Flame couple or teacher couple that is in true Twin Flame union. They may be together with their twin and in a physical relationship, but that does not equal union. Even the current market leader in the Twin Flame industry, says she is in union however her twin is not incarnated in the physical – which is not the kind of union most people have in mind.

True Twin Flame union comes from accessing inner union, which is then reflected back to you in your outer reality. Inner union does not mean 5D union with the twin, in fact the twin has nothing to do with inner union except that he or she helps you get there on your own. Inner union, is union within with yourself and ultimately the union of your higher self with your 3D self. It’s all about stepping into unity consciousness within, which has it reflected back to you in your outer reality.

This is because everything you see in the physical as your tangible reality, is but an energetic manifestation of what you believe and hold to be true inside of you.

You don’t need to reach this state of being to BE with your twin in a physical and romantic relationship, but until you have reached this state it’s not a Twin Flame union. It’s just a romantic and sexual relationship with your twin, which I know is basically all most of you thought you wanted anyway – but it’s not the highest potential of this journey or the highest outcome which we will explore deeper in myth #5.

What is important is that the teacher knows the Twin Flame frequency, because if they don’t they can’t teach you about the Twin Flame dynamic. Seeing there are a few so called Twin Flame teacher out there not actually in union, despite being in a relationship with someone they consider their twin – it’s up to you to use your own discernment. Does what these people teach really resonate? If not they might not be the right fit for you.

Myth #3 – There is some secret formula, magic spell, energy practice that will land you union

I am sorry to break it to you, there isn’t. No matter how much people try to convince you that they have cracked the code to union and can teach you how – it’s all BS.

Which may sound strange coming from me because I myself offer a Twin Flame program in The Twin Flame Tribe, but I’ll be honest with you – there are no short cuts. There is no secret formula, there is no magic spell, no secret ancient energy practice and their definitely is no magic pill or love potion that will land you union.

I know that’s not what you want to hear, but it’s the truth.

There are people offering guaranteed union for amounts anywhere between a couple of hundred to a couple of thousand dollars. It’s BS and a waste of your money. Earlier mentioned Twin Flame teacher/reader who is in union number 6 or more, we have all lost track by now…. offers a $5,000 VIP coaching program that if you do EXACTLY what she says will get you into Twin Flame union.

However if you yourself are onto union number 6 you seem to have difficulties discerning the true Twin Flame frequency. Everybody can make a mistake, but if you have been wrong five times before then it isn’t really likely that you are on the Twin Flame path. You just desperately seem to want to be on it, but that is not the same thing.

Another client of mine invested $3,500 in working with someone who claimed that there was no healing necessary, you only needed to do energy practices that would shift your energy and get you into union. After such a large investment of money, she and her twin are now talking as friends when before he shunned her. Yes, that is progress but hardly worth three and a half grand.

Don’t even get me started on all those so called psychics that will lift black magic spells, curses and what not for exorbitant amounts of money. These people should be arrested, they are preying on the fear, feelings of helplessness and the feelings of powerlessness that their potential clients struggle with, it’s criminal.

People wake up! Their has never come a union from these kind of practices. Especially if it costs a couple of thousand dollars to lift the curse. Honestly your twin’s karmic did not put a spell on him or on you. that is NOT the reason you aren’t in union and if someone ever tells you this run and don’t look back.

Curses and spells do occasionally pop up, but you are not powerless to break them. Any good healer can deal with them or refer you to someone who can do so for normal prices – but they aren’t the BIG final missing piece of the puzzle that you believe or were told they were.

What you have to understand about the Twin Flame journey is that It’s a modern-day initiation path to Ascension and as such it is not meant to be the fastest route into a romantic relationship. To understand this even better, you might want to download my free Inner Union Soul Alchemy manuscript which explains why meeting your Twin Flame is so much more than just another ‘boy meets girl’ love story or any variation thereof like boy meets boy or girl meets girl.

This is also why in my online program the Align to Your Divine Plan Twin Flame Mastery Program, my focus is on getting my students to making the shift from their old 3D programming into the 5D state of being and consciousness. Because this is what all initiates on the Ascension path are asked to do and the Twin Flame encounter only accelerates the clearing out of all fears and false beliefs that have kept you locked in to the old 3D (which does not mean physical reality) paradigm.

Because the 3D state of being and consciousness is what we consider the normal in this time, reality and dimension we have confused it with physical reality. So many of you think 5D is up there, but the truth is that these dimension can both be experienced in the physical reality. You are meant to experience life in 5D in your physical manifested experience, it is not just an energetic reality which most people believe.

I believe by going to where this journey wants to bring you anyway, realizing the truth of who you are and embodying that – your own soul truth, we automatically align to the union with the twin or someone better.

I know you hate it when I say someone better and doubt that there is anyone better in the world than your twin, but that is what it means to align to your Divine plan – it means surrendering to the life your soul has pre-scripted for you. Many of you fear that this may mean a life without your twin, but it is exactly that fear that then keeps you from surrendering and creates a hold up in your manifestation. You simply can’t have what you cling on to.

Let me give it to you straight up. I can buy all of these expensive solutions and if there was one out there that would work, I would let you know. Just as I share my experiences with you, my resources and even my healers because I want you to get your hands on the tools that work. The Twin Flame collective has been running in circles way too long as it is and it is my mission to show twin’s a way out of the pain and suffering that they feel trapped in.

But the truth is you can’t buy your way into union, you have to do the healing and growth work it takes to come into alignment to union as your manifested reality. You have to face all your inner fears and false beliefs that are keeping you from living the highest expression of yourself. It’s those fears and false beliefs that are cancelling out the manifestation of your deepest heart’s desire and have done so over lifetimes and lifetimes.

Myth #4 – There is something wrong with you or you’re doing something wrong if you are not in union

Being so visible and having my whole Twin Flame journey documented on this site often leads to people thinking they can judge me or analyse why I am currently not in union.

What I have found is that people often pull out the union card in order to ‘win’ an argument.

For example for my Ibiza retreat I had ordered sage from a shop on Etsy.com. I had asked to also get mini-smudge sticks for my clients and didn’t hear back from her. When I opened the package it was half empty but no mini-smudge sticks for my clients.

When I asked the woman why she had not sent them she started up this whole song and dance about it not fitting her business model, not being ethical and not having fit in the box. It was all nonsense and when I told her, her reasons seem to make no sense and that she could have at least communicated to me that she wasn’t sending the mini-smudge sticks so that I had enough time to order them elsewhere her response was ‘See this is why you are not in union…’ I even forget how she tried to make that sound reasonable, but she tried her best to convince me that I was seeing it all wrong and that she was right because she was in union (i.e. boning some guy).

Recently when I was getting ready to write the article on Twin Flame Adultery one of the Polyamory enthusiast wrote me that maybe the reason why I was not in union with my Twin Flame was because I wasn’t open to the concept of Polyamore and could I be ascended enough to explore this side of unconditional love….?

Have you ever noticed that the most daring commentators on Social Media either have no profile pic or have a profile pic that does not show their face?

Her remark is a bunch of bullocks of course. I don’t think my twin’s wife would be very enthusiastic about opening up her marriage to me and even if she would how would we make that work with them in India and me in various other countries? Nor do I see how me having sex with multiple partners will get me any closer to my twin or union with him. The objective of this journey is to clear your energy and raise your vibrational frequency which will be more difficult if you are consistently sharing your energy with different or only even two intimate partners, who are also sharing their energies with multiple partners as well.

But let’s be honest stuff like this gets thrown around daily in the Twin Flame community whether it’s in working with a Twin Flame professional or just someone responding to you in a Twin Flame group and it is utter nonsense.

Personally I would not continue to work with any healer, teacher, coach, reader or mentor that told me ‘and that’s why you are not in union…’ and neither should you because it’s actually very passive aggressive and unprofessional. We all think ‘and you wonder why you are not in union?’ from time to time when a client goes on a f*cking spree for the umpteenth time, but to express this verbally in a professional relationship with a client is not okay.

The reason anyone is not in ‘union’, physical or true union is because it’s not the right time yet.

Divine timing is everything…

Let me give you an example from my own Twin Flame journey:

It’s interesting how the whole Universe conspired to get me back to India this coming January 2019. Three Indian clients begged me to do the next retreat in India, none of them are actually attending the retreat. They all decided not to join for various reasons. That is fine because they were merely the instrument to get me back there. Because I would have never gone back to India voluntarily on my own. As far as I am concerned the only thing that interests me in India is my twin, everything else that I find remotely interesting from India can be imported – it doesn’t require me going there.

In the last 5 or so months since my twin and I last texted on Messenger there seems to be a reoccurring theme of releasing the obstacles that have kept us apart.

This includes:

  • A past life in Egypt where we were told that our love didn’t serve the world and that we were not allowed to be together. Realizing now that this time around our love serves the world in the most profound way (for example the Gangsta Goddesses website, services and products that all stem from our love)
  • The past life in which my twin committed suicide which had me stuck in my core masculine frequency and him in his core feminine frequency. Being in his core feminine frequency in this lifetime has kept him from taking action, even the women in his life went after him he had told me – he didn’t have to pursue them including me. Being in a masculine core frequency prevented me from being open to really receive him ( I was literally guarding my heart)
  • And now recently releasing the habit of sacrificing ourselves for someone else’s benefit and realizing that this is not our responsibility (For me this was a pattern stemming from sexual abuse as a very young child and for him losing his father at a very young age and being the only man in the family)

My twin did not marry his wife because he was so in love with her, he married her because this was the girl his family had chosen and approved to be his life partner and mother of his children.

Throughout our journey there has always been a huge conflict inside him in regards to his true feelings for me and his loyalty to his family, This January he will be married two years which has only increased this inner conflict, because he has had to live with the consequences of his choice the past couple of years. It is one thing to do as you are told, but it is a completely different thing to keep this up the rest of your life if it is not aligned to what your heart truly wants.

Even the planets are lining up in our favor with a full moon in his marriage sector at the end of the year that will likely rock the boat and a partial solar eclipse in his 7th house of committed partnerships one day after I arrive in India. The eclipse is predicted to be a fork in the road for his sign and force him to make a decision about his marriage. I knew nothing of these planetary influences until the December horoscopes came out, it wasn’t planned or strategized – it just turned out this way.

Or maybe better said – our souls planned it this way, when they mapped out the union process before we incarnated in this lifetime. Because I wasn’t even planning to step foot in Delhi, but had to make a stop-over there to meet up with my app developer to discuss integrating the Twin Flame program into the Twin Flame Oracle apps for Android and Apple.

Like I said the whole Universe conspired to put me less than an hours drive away from my twin, with all this internal pressure building up for him through the planetary alignments at that time.

Does that mean my twin and I will come into physical union next month? I honestly have no idea and by now I know better than to think that I could possibly predict what’s around the next corner on this journey – it’s always one big surprise.

What I do know is that there seems to be a lot of preparation going on behind the scenes for a possible new encounter. I also know that whatever happens in India will be exactly the right thing for both me and my twin, because that is how this whole journey has been. Literally everything that has happened on this journey, including his marriage to someone else has been for our highest good and served as a preparation to our own union somewhere down the line.

My twin was 24 when we met and lacking life experience in many areas. The past years has been a crash course for him in maturing the f*ck up (while I needed to learn to lighten up) – to prepare him to be able to be the equal he needs to be in an intimate relationship with me. I did not face all my inner dragons and demons to be married to a child, who needs me to be his mommy.

True Twin Flame unions can’t be based on an unequal distribution of the power in the relationship – it can only be achieved in the coming together of two equals. His life the past three years since we last saw each other, has brought him the challenges he needed to get the maturity and life experience required for him to be an equal in our union and his wife has played an important role in this. We could not be where we are today without her contribution to both our lives, she helped him become a man and helped me face some of my deepest wounding. I feel deep gratitude to her.

If it is our time to be together (Divine timing) it will happen, because I have put in all the work to make it happen. I have not sat around doing nothing or indulging myself elsewhere waiting for my twin to get with the program. Despite the fact that I would have gladly strangled my twin a couple of times along the way and he me as well, I have now reached a place in my life that is amazing. I would have not been able to enter this place without facing all the subconscious fears and false beliefs that I had no choice but to face, while working towards a possible future with my twin.

I say this last part carefully because although that is how I got on this path, the prospect of a life together with my twin – that is not what has kept me going on this journey. His marriage left me no choice but to let my attachment to this romantic outcome I dreamed of – go. What has kept me moving forward has been seeing how all this deep healing work has benefited me and the quality of the life I live today. I am on this journey for me and even though I love my twin and would love to share my life with him – I am committed to me no matter what he does or doesn’t do and that is part of the Twin Flame objective – learning to love yourself fully and completely.

When you start out on this journey you are seeking the love you want outside of you, when you come home on this journey you find the love you were seeking within and when you do it will be reflected back to you in the outside world as well.

Myth #5 – The Twin Flame journey is about coming into ‘union’

The biggest myth in Twin Flame land is that this journey is about coming into union…

Well actually it is about coming into union and it isn’t. You see, this journey is about coming into inner union and you can’t truly have inner union, without having outer union reflected back to you one way or the other. Because our outer world is always a reflection of our inner state of being.

The mistake that most Twin Flames make though is believing that this journey is about ending up together in a romantic relationship, like it is the highest attainable state this journey has to offer (marital and sexual bliss) and that is just not true.

If ending up in a romantic relationship with your Twin Flame, which is what most of you envision ‘union’ to be, was the point of this journey – you would already have it. This is not some cruel cosmic joke being played on you. Union with the twin is not the point, it’s the means to get you where your soul wants to be. The dangling carrot, that keeps you moving forward – because you don’t love yourself enough to do it for you.

Just think about this for a minute, if you would take your twin out of the equation would you still want to move ahead on this journey?

Now before you get your panties all in a bunch over this, it DOESN’T mean you won’t end up with your twin and have the physical bliss you so desire.

If you two are meant to be together, it will happen and nothing can stop it from happening either. Not an outside force, not you yourself and also not your twin. Many of you think your twin doesn’t want to be with you and that your love is (suddenly) unrequited but that is an illusion.

Long ago in civilizations like ancient Egypt, they used to have initiation chambers for initiates on the Ascension journey. These chambers were what we would call virtual reality chambers today and offered initiates the illusion of facing their worst fears and false beliefs.

We are now in a period of mass Ascension and we live in a time where there is little religious and cultural restrictions, something that the initiates back then did face. In our times our physical life experiences represent those exact same virtual reality initiations that were run in the initiation chambers – except now they are run in real time and in real life.

The above example of unrequited love, is in fact an initiation in love – because only when you can love in the absence of love do you truly master the lesson of love. It’s easy to love someone when they say and do what you want, but that is not love – that’s being happy that things are going as you would like them to go. It is when you can love someone even when they don’t say what you long to hear or give you what you most desperately want from them – that you have learned to truly love another being.

The same applies for learning to love the self, it’s when you can love yourself in the absence of having the love outside of you, you crave – that it is true self love. When self love is based on the presence of being loved by an outside force, it will be lost the moment you lose the outside source of love. Love has to be found within, in order for it to be found without and though you may think that you love yourself fully and completely – I bet you a thousand dollars that, that is not true. Because if it were true, that self love would be reflected back to you in your outer experience – remember as within, so without.

And of course third party relationships (the so called ‘karmics’) are also virtual reality initiations that help us face our fear of loss, our believe in the other woman that most women suffer from and all our false beliefs around our true worth and what we have to offer.

Every initiation on this magical journey offers us the opportunity to shed even deeper all the fears and false beliefs that are covering our true nature. What I have learned from my own journey and my work with clients is that our subconscious mind is filled with repressed traumas from this lifetime and previous lifetimes that keep us from truly stepping into our power and soul truth.

Every Twin Flame initiation that you encounter on your journey is meant to help you release a deeper layer of wounding, that has kept you from realizing your own Divinity.

When you have reached a harmonious union of the 3D self, the ego and the soul – then you have achieved what this journey is all about. The outer union with the Twin Flame is but a mere byproduct of this inner union and living your life as your highest expression.

For many of you this is close to impossible to fathom because you are so conditioned to believe that your happiness lies outside of you. You can imagine what marital and sexual bliss will feel like and so that becomes the highest outcome you can envision. Because you have no idea what inner union will actually bring you, you cling to what you can conceptualize in your mind as this is familiar and you have an idea of the value.

Inner union is a complete new phenomenon on such a large scale, it’s relatively new and there aren’t many before us that have paved the way. You don’t know yet what it will bring you or what it will feel like, but it is a prerequisite for the new paradigm Divine partnerships that we are currently evolving into.

If truth be told craving fulfillment through the outside and Twin Flame union, is old paradigm thinking. In the new paradigm 5th dimensional state of being we simply can’t seek our fulfillment outside of us, because we have learned that all we seek is found within.

It’s this shift in consciousness and shift in state of being that initiates on the Ascension path are asked to make. In the process our whole belief-system is rewired, old programming has to be deleted and all the four bodies (mental, emotional, physical and vibrational) have to be cleansed and upgraded in order to vibrate at the higher frequency rate of the New Earth and the 5th dimensional frequency.

That is what creates the hold ups on your Twin Flame journey, instead of as you may believe that your twin doesn’t love you or doesn’t want to be with you. That is all just virtual reality simulation in real life to help you shift your consciousness and enter this higher state of being.

I pray this article serves you and gives you a better understanding of what the Twin Flame journey is all about and what the concept of union really entails. If you need any help from my side I can assist you in clearing the gunk and sludge in the subconscious mind from this lifetime and previous lifetimes in an Akashic Record Clearing.

You will also find my online program and The Twin Flame Tribe a perfect fit, to help you work through your subconscious fears and false believes that have kept you locked into old paradigm thinking and programming. Rewiring your belief-system and deleting old paradigm conditioning is vital to being able to shift your energy and enter higher states of being and vibrational frequency.

Sending you love and light on your Ascension path and Divine partnership journey, you are forever protected and guided. All is well.

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Lots of love,

Sabriyé Dubrie


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Sabriyé Ayana is the leading expert on the Twin Flame journey and inner union process. As a Twin Flame leader, teacher and healer she helps Twin Flames understand that this journey is not just about creating a fairy-tale and they lived happily ever after together... It's an initiation path to Ascension. Download the free Inner Union Soul Alchemy manuscript to find out more.