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The Law of Attraction tool that changed my life
For the past five years every year come December I have chosen a word that I wanted to have as my central theme for the coming year. I say I chose, but it would be more correct to say that the words chose me over the years and that they always turned out to be my perfect match for that time period.
Using this one simple tool has been an absolute game changer in my life, that has helped transform me and my reality in ways I wouldn’t have thought possible prior to starting this practice.
I met my Twin Flame the year I started using this simple but powerful method and it has also been an invaluable tool on my Twin Flame journey that has helped me despite all the twin related drama to keep me tapping into the higher frequency of my word for that year.
Because the Twin Flame journey is the fast-track to Ascension, raising your vibrational frequency is of the utmost importance on this journey. This is also why your focus word of the year should be a high resonating frequency one, instead of a low vibing one.
Vibration Frequency Chart
As you can see in this above chart based on the work of David Hawkins every emotion and corresponding word has a vibrational frequency, Twin Flame union is at the frequency of 500+ and above – i.e. the frequency of unconditional love.
This is also why I wrote the shadow work series because those frequencies are all resonating below 175, which means that if you are resonating at that energetic frequency you can’t possibly manifest Twin Flame union because your core frequency is resonating at a much lower vibe.
This doesn’t mean you are never allowed to be angry again, what it does mean is that you should release the places where you are subconsciously holding on to anger because that’s what is keeping your core frequency lower without you even knowing it.
The subconscious has a much greater impact on our lives than we give it credit for, it dictates for 95% what does and does not happen in your life – while the conscious mind only has a 5% influence.
This is why I am forever hammering on healing your subconscious wounding because by doing so you raise your core vibrational frequency in a way that would otherwise not be sustainable because of the trapped trauma energy in the subconscious mind.
When this trapped trauma energy is released the Law of Attraction suddenly starts to work a whole lot better for you because there isn’t as much crosscurrent energy (beliefs) that will sabotage your manifestations.
Because I was doing both and focusing on my word of the year and clearing out gunk and sludge simultaneously, it increased the impact of my conscious efforts because I had less subconscious stuff (inner beliefs) contradicting what I wanted to create. It wasn’t till 2017 that manifesting my conscious desires started to really work for me in the way I always hoped they would, because by then I had cleared most of my self-sabotaging beliefs.
That being said this method worked for me even in those years that my energy was still denser and heavier than it is now and in their own way each word helped me reach for a higher state of feeling as you can see in my five year overview that I have made for you.
Look closely at the pictures of me from 2014 until 2018 to see the deep change I went through and how much my core vibrational frequency changed from the first picture through to the last.
A stroll down memory lane of my last five focus words
This is my list of annual WOTYs over the past five years:
- 2014 – EASY
- 2015 – EPIC
- 2016 – LOVE
- 2017 – MIRACULOUS
- 2018 – BLISS
2014 – EASY
When I started choosing my word of the year in 2014, I was in a very toxic business relationship. I was so stressed out from the constant flare ups and unnecessary drama that I was vomiting every night. I just could not keep my dinner inside of me. It took some intense acupuncture sessions including needles lodged deep into my chin to stop my body from throwing up. Against that backdrop I chose the word EASY because I drastically wanted my life to become a lot easier.
And it worked by April 2014 the toxic business relationship dissolved on its own and that same month I met my Twin Flame, we did end up running and chasing most of 2014 but life in all areas had gotten so much easier by then I could easily handle it. EASE was also how I felt with my twin from the get go, it all just felt so natural, so effortless and he felt the same. I was the easiest person in his life to talk to.
The 2014 picture is the image that my twin fell in love with, as soon as he saw my picture he knew I was special to him and even before we became lovers he was fantasizing about making love to me based on this picture. Little did we know then, we would be in each other’s arms only a year later…
2015 – EPIC
When I entered 2015 I chose the word EPIC and oh my God 2015 was f*cking EPIC!
I started my own company and hit the 5 figures ($$$$$) a month already in July that year (I had started my company in March 2015).
After I had given up on my twin, he came back to me saying ‘Now that I have you in my life I never want to let you go.‘ and sent me an in depth description of how he wanted to make love to me which was phrased excruciating beautiful for an at that time 26 year old.
But what made 2015 really EPIC! was that I was invited out of the blue to an Indian wedding of a mutual friend and I got to smell, touch, kiss and taste my twin after 18 months of loving each other from a far.
It was magical, every bit of it – from moonlit talks about our future, dancing together like no one was watching (for everyone there, it was crystal clear that we were a couple) to secretly sleeping in each others arms and praying to God we wouldn’t get caught by our friends parents.
My twin also wrote me this beautiful email that summer just before I received the wedding invitation. It was what gave me the courage to fly to India, despite my twin refusing to talk to me for three months until I was there. He was so triggered by me coming all that distance to be with him. Scared as hell that if he would allow me close to him, he would ‘abandon’ his family and shirk his responsibility to them. So to make sure that I wouldn’t be able to sweep him off his feet, he ran into a meaningless affair that was as good as over by the time I got there. In fact the girl in question got engaged to someone else while I was in India together with my twin.
Yet despite the difficulties here and there and some utter disappointments, 2015 was a dream come true for me and for my twin as well. We had both wanted nothing more than to meet each other in real life, to see if what we had felt so intensely from a far – felt as true in real life and it did.
The 2015 timeline picture is of course a picture of us dancing like no one is watching, as you can clearly see we only had eyes for each other.
2016 – LOVE
2016 was a tough year for me, it started out with my Twin Flame slamming the door shut in my face when only the month before we had been talking about spending the rest of our lives together, hence the romantic fantasies in my 2016 WOTY post. It certainly did not work out that way, a more accurate description of the 2016 results I summed up in my 2017 WOTY post.
In short 2016 really allowed me to open up to true love and remove my blocks to receiving love. I didn’t get to experience the romantic lovey-dovey side of love, but instead I got an opportunity to heal my relationship with love on a profoundly deep level.
For my twin and I it was also a test of love.
Was our love real and could it endure anything or had it just all been this magical fantasy?
Like Santiago in the Alchemist:
“If what you found was made from pure matter, it will never spoil. And you can come back one day. If it was just one moment of light, like the explosion of a star, you will find nothing on your return. But you would have seen an explosion of light. And that alone would already be worth the journey.”
Paulo Coelho, the Alchemist
I chose to amp up my commitment at the end of 2016 when I also stepped into my mission as a Twin Flame teacher and healer. I chose for our love and the push I felt from Spirit to serve the Twin Flame collective.
Paradoxically my twin who had said earlier that year that he didn’t love me the way I thought I loved him, showed up in my dream about three weeks into January 2017. After working my butt off all 2016 on my ability to also receive love (I had some massive blocks there), my twin came into my dreams January 26th to tell me he would love me forever and that he was getting married. Three days later I woke up to his wedding pics that my team members scooped off of the timeline of friends of my twin.
I kid you not, ONE freaking week after I stepped into my role as Twin Flame teacher and healer, my twin gets married to a girl his family picked out for him. On the day itself my phone was buzzing with people checking in on me and or eager to let me know what was going on. Yet no one had been allowed to give me a heads up by the Universe because frankly no one in their right mind would have stepped up as a teacher KNOWING their twin was getting married practically at the same time – I certainly wouldn’t have back then.
Spirit knew that, so apart from the dramatic dream in which my twin made love to me and held me in his arms as he declared his everlasting love for me only to tell me he was getting married and to whom – I was left in the dark. The marriage pics three days later confirmed how real the dream had been.
Granted this was not what I was hoping for at all, but it made one thing damn clear to me and that was that what my twin and I shared was in fact the real deal – this was true and everlasting love not only from my side but from his side as well as apparently he found it important enough to come into my dreams to tell me he was getting married and reassure me that he would love me forever. A message only in 5D then, but which he confirmed in 3D on a phone call three months later.
The 2016 timeline picture is my very first video blog for Gangsta Goddesses, which I had been urged to set up when I came back from India. As soon as I came back I got rerouted by my higher self in work that better suited my soul purposes, than the web design company I had been running when I met my twin. This is part of what made 2016 so hectic as my whole life got turned upside down, in order to get me living my Soul truth.
2017 – MIRACULOUS
Of course when I chose my 2017 word I was completely oblivious to my twin’s marriage plans, in fact oddly enough someone close to me had just gotten permission from her Indian twin’s family to marry him despite a large age difference, kids and the fact that she was even still married when she met his parents.
I was absolutely sure the Universe was not going to show me this and then say ‘nahnahnah nah nah, but not for you’, that is not how the Universe rolls.
So when on the 29th of January (yup their marriage date is 11-1-1) my twin did get married to someone else, I immediately sent him a text saying that even though this was not what we had hoped for or wanted that I trusted that it would turn out to be a blessing in disguise for all of us and it has been just that.
Despite that unexpected surprise, 2017 was a great year – I launched my own signature program Inner Union Soul Alchemy Program and have close to 200 students enrolled in that program as of December 2018, creating magical shifts on their own Twin Flame journeys.
I went to see Tony Robbins in London which was an amazing experience and it was there on my twin’s third month marriage anniversary that I spoke to him after 16 months of separation. We spoke for close to one hour and filled each other in on where we were at.
When I said that I was happy he was doing well, but that if he ever divorced that I expected him to get his ass over here immediately…
He took a deep breathe and said ‘I don’t know if I will ever leave her, but I promise you that if I do I will be on the plane the next day to come to you.’ He had already made very clear that his family was happier with his new bride than he was and that he was focusing on his work and trying not to let the things that happened in his life these past two years get to him, because he would otherwise sink into a depression.
Not exactly a great place to be, only three months into your marriage.
Not shortly after that call did we find out that the exact three whiskey brands that I got him for Christmas, he had bought for himself only a month later. One bottle 2 days before his marriage and the other two on his way back from his honeymoon. Which again does not spell much good for your marriage when you are buying yourself gifts that another woman who loves you, wanted to gift you. When we found out he was amazed and said ‘Some how, some way your whiskeys made their way to me.’
I think you understand that realizing all these truths about what he really feels and what he really wants was an overload and triggered him to the max. Me going to Ibiza a little later that year was the final straw. In our call I had told him that after his marriage I had burned my vision board with all my dreams of a life together with him and asked myself what I wanted to create next? I was shown by Spirit to go to Ibiza.
This goes to show you how important it is to let go, because I burned the vision board on the 8th of April and we reconnected on the 29th of April, only 21 days later.
My twin with his voice full admiration said to me ‘That is what I love about you, you decide what you want and you make it happen.’ I replied well I think the difference is that I don’t give a sh*t what others think about what I do – he said more to himself than to me ‘And I care too much maybe about how my decisions impact others.’ referring to the sacrifice he had already made to please his family but not himself, by agreeing to this arranged marriage.
One of the last nights in my hotel room in his hometown in India back in 2015, he had explained to me if it was only up to him – he and I would already be together and have everything we had always talked about (he was referring to a baby), but that he didn’t dare trust his own feelings or want to hurt his family by committing social suicide which a marriage to me would mean in his culture.
Things have only gotten more complex since then with his wife crazy in love with him, she utterly adores him – completely unaware of the fact that there is someone else in her husband’s heart. I have myself been in a marriage like this, so I know how painful this can be and I feel great compassion for her. I know my twin is doing his damn best to make his marriage work, but I also know from personal experience that you cannot life a lie indefinitely. At some point the truth will no longer be suppressed and it will erupt like a volcano.
However having no other option than to allow my twin to learn his own lessons, we went into separation again although that wasn’t the correct word for it. I could messaged my twin any time I pleased, say anything I wanted and he would put up with it because he wanted to keep me in his life at all cost, He would rather put up with my frustration and anger about his refusal to communicate back, than not have me there at all. I guess for him it was also a way to know I was still with him and not with someone else.
But just like the volcano would eventually erupt, also this setup was not sustainable indefinitely and even though it was short lived I cut off contact by the end of 2017 to focus on myself and my own healing.
And 2017 turned out to be such an immense year of deep healing and inner growth for me, I was able to open up completely to unconditional love, unlimited abundance and the unfathomable trust that all is transpiring for my highest good. If not anything else I made miraculous shifts that year, shifts that paved the way for an even higher octave of miracles in 2018.
As you can see in my 2017 timeline pic all that immense healing work paid off, as I was simply glowing and radiating from all the light I was starting to anchor in.
2018 – Bliss
2018 started off with more intense healing work and anchoring in my light body – the merkabah. I was on a retreat with clients in Ibiza when I sat in front of Es Vedra, a rock formation out in the sea just in front of Ibiza on the South-Western coastline. This rock formation is shrouded in legends and myths, but has proven to also be a most magical place to me. As I was sitting there in meditation grounding my light body in this magical energy vortex, from across the sea my twin’s energy came speeding in to ground our merkaba with me.
We had not been talking at that time and slowly but surely communication started up again from my end. 2018 became a year of healing core wounding and truly unf*cking myself at the deepest level. This resulted in many wondrous side effects, including experiencing sexual bliss for the first time in my life. During one of my therapy sessions I experienced my first real orgasm in my life, everything else prior to that were simply short climaxes. Good, but not the earth shattering experience I had now.
When I went into this orgasmic state I couldn’t control my body, I couldn’t control my voice, I was in a complete state of deep surrender when waves of ecstasy and deep bliss moved through me. My body was shocking with pleasure, my voice was screaming in deep satisfaction and tears streamed down my face as I experienced the utter depth of orgasmic bliss that was simply out of this world.
Halfway through the year, I packed up all my belongings and put them in boxes. I packed a suitcase and started traveling the world with my 14 year old son and my mother. We started out in Glastonbury, England, we drove down half of Italy and jumped on a plane in Rome to fly to Cairo, Egypt. In Egypt we visited the pyramids at Giza and then flew to Luxor, to go to the Luxor temple which is the ethereal retreat of Serapis Bey. After a short lay-over in Amsterdam we flew out to Ibiza at the end of October, from where I am currently writing this article.
While in England I spoke to my twin after he again reached out to me in a dream, in our conversation on Facebook messenger my twin confirmed that all the healing work I was doing on myself was having an effect on him as he felt that he was being pulled into his spirituality and that his third eye was opening, despite the fact that he was neither actively praying nor meditating in order to facilitate this. He had felt that all this was somehow connected to me.
Not long after that conversation I closed the door completely again as I was simply not longer willing to only communicate when he felt like it or needed me close. Because of all the healing work I have done and the massive shift that visiting Egypt had brought in me, I could walk away completely this time. Not realizing then how this was but an initiation preparing me for the depth of surrender I needed in the next phase of my own Ascension journey.
Shortly before I left Amsterdam to come to Ibiza my higher self started to come into my physical body, as soon as I landed here I had to even take two weeks off to get to the state of surrender necessary for the soul to fully enter the body and my whole stay here on the island has been about allowing this integration deeper and deeper. That same deeper state of surrender that I had practiced with my twin, was now needed for my own soul evolution.
When I revisited Es Vedra for the first time back on the island, while in meditation at this sacred location I was given my soul name – Āyāna and I was shown the next step in my soul’s purpose.
All the inner work of the past six months has been focused on opening up the heart chakra deeper and deeper, which is where true bliss is experienced – deep within the spiritual heart. Feeling safe in this world has been a major theme on my journey and my time on Ibiza has been spent on releasing stuck memories (energy) of feeling unsafe from the physical body from this lifetime and previous lifetimes. This work has been crucial to opening up the heart chakra, because you can only open your heart, when you truly feel safe inside yourself.
This is a theme I spent most of 2018 working on, in the mental, emotional and etheric body. The physical body because it is the densest manifestation of energy is the last body to clear from. It is where the emotional, mental and energetic trauma was physically rooted in. Doing deep body work in the final two months of 2018 allowed me to release the roots of the traumas that I had already cleared from the other bodies in the first part of the year, before I started travelling.
For those of you sensitive to energy you will be able to feel the difference in my core frequency in the 2018 timeline picture. Through embodying my higher aspect Āyāna, it has completely changed my energy field and how my energy feels to others.
My 2019 word of the year is ‘Simplicity‘
And after that massive five year build up superlative words, the word Simplicity wants to travel with me throughout the new upcoming year. As 2018 is drawing to a close, I feel this even more strongly in preparation for the New Year to simplify my life even deeper.
It of course already started midway 2018 when I gave my house to my oldest son and reduced my monthly bills (although the amount has increased) drastically. I left my son all my furniture and only put in storage the things that were really dear to me. During our short stay in Amsterdam in October, I went through what I had put in storage again and decluttered my belongings even further. All I own in this world now fits into 6 boxes, a duffel bag, my laptop bag and two suitcases…
It feels good to ‘travel’ this lightly through life at the moment.
For the past five years my relationship status has been the infamous Facebook status – ‘It’s complicated…’ and it has been. Being in love with someone on the other end of the world wasn’t easy to start out with, him then getting married to someone else – has not simplified things one bit. Our love surviving his marriage on both ends, has been nothing short of miraculous but only served to complicate our lives even more.
When I finally owned my own worth, this was the first thing that I knew I was no longer going to stand for – a potential partner who did not choose me back and simply made it happen, twin or no twin. It is great that my twin loves me as well and wants to be with me, but if that is followed up by zero action it just keeps me stuck in ‘It’s complicated…’
Been there, done that, got the T-shirt.
It’s time for simply everything that works, that flows, that is in full 100% alignment.
No more pushing the river…
Just sweet surrender to everything that comes naturally and releasing everything that takes too much effort or is over-complicated.
I have even started simplifying my food, simplifying my business, simplifying my life. Being on the road has meant to drastically simplify my wardrobe and realize that even on the road I have much more with me than I actually use. Before I fly to India in January 2019, I will drop off more stuff in storage and donate some pieces to charity, that I actually don’t wear at all.
I have no idea where simplifying everything will bring me, but I suspect that it will free me to be HERE IN THIS MOMENT even more. Which is what living in 5D is all about.
It’s funny that after five years of releasing everything that was weighing me down on a mental, emotional and vibrational level – I am again in this final stage, releasing the physical excess weight I have been schlepping around with me.
So I am very excited about where a year of simplifying my life and embracing simplicity will bring me. After such an intense inner transformation, it’s interesting that my 2019 word of the year is a higher octave of my 2014 word that I started my journey with.
How about you?
I hope sharing my journey with using a word of the year to bring you focus, inspires you to use this method as well. Because it is such a powerful method, it can help you to keep aligned to a higher frequency no matter what possible obstacles or detours you face.
For many of us this period of 2014 – 2018 has been a very intense period of working through pain, challenges, drama and toxic relationships. Like me – many of you have also been on the Twin Flame journey throughout this time-period. I met my twin April 2014 and I know many of my followers are on the same timeline as me.
But even if you are on a different timeline, we are all ready for a much lighter 2019. After all the hard work we have put in these past five years – it will be much easier to manifest this new reality. So which word would you like to have accompany you into this new reality? Think about it and see what comes.
When you have found your word of the year use it as your intention and anchor point to keep yourself aligned to the experience you want to create in the upcoming year.
If you would like to increase your manifesting powers I can help you release oodles of gunk and sludge from your subconscious mind from this lifetime and previous ones in my one on one Akashic Record Clearings.
The more you can release dense vibrational energy from your vibrational field the more you can tap into the instant manifestation that comes with living in 5D.
If you are ready to take your Twin Flame journey to the next level, join the Twin Flame Tribe here.
Sending you love and light on your Ascension path and Divine partnership journey, you are forever protected and guided. All is well.
If this article resonates with you please share it abundantly. Thank you.
Lots of love,