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This is a guest article by Twin Flame astrologer Lilliana Thorvald.
The Sh*t is about to hit the fan
We are three days into the Scorpio season and we have until November 22nd to go. Hello Underworld, I was hoping to never see you again. I have cried every day during this time and I have heard and seen people cry in public.
I will speak as an astrologer, as a shamanic healer and as a veteran Twin Flame Divine Feminine. This article is raw, uncomfortable and perhaps ugly. You can stop reading here, there will be blood and guts spilling, but it is necessary and it will aim to assist, shed light and give perspective on the time that is upon us and the task that lies ahead.
A few nights ago I dreamed of the Devil, for the first time ever. He was going through a list of names, it was the people I was sitting with in something that was like a classroom. He came to my name and read it, and as he called out my name, his face shape shifted into my twin’s face, it was the devil wearing my twin’s face. He was waiting for me to confirm that it was me. I said no, that’s not me. I woke up, unafraid, with the knowledge I have to denounce the devil even if he was posing as my twin.
I got up realizing I have surgery scheduled in a few hours and I need to get going. There was something like a big mole growing at the bottom of my tailbone, very strange, it looked almost like a small tail, or a mini penis. I think it used to be a small birthmark that started growing fast. It took some time to save money for surgery and find a good surgeon, but it was arranged for that day. I got there on time, the doctor looked and we laughed together. “Well, who knows what that is good for!”
It didn’t hurt as he cut it out. But then he saw I had many birthmarks all over my body, more like new moles growing out of nowhere. He suggested we removed them all, to be on the safe side. I agreed. The other moles were small so he used a laser. It burned my skin and it hurt. He went from my back to my arms, from my chest to my legs. I clenched my teeth as my muscles jerked. It wasn’t long before I was inhaling the smell of my own burning flesh. I could see the smoke rising from my body too. Then I giggled. “Oh my God, the witch is burning again! But this time only the little toxic spots are going, I am staying!” We laughed again. It all went well, I went in to have one big problem removed, and I ended up with an additional thirty holes on my body, because it all had to go. We will call it cosmetic reasons including safety reasons.
Happy Twin Flame anniversary to me
The surgeon only charged a little extra for removing the other moles, so I got out very happy, feeling like I had done something great for my body. The last dark spots were all gone. The day was wonderful, 29C, it was hot outside and I wanted to sit in the sun. The closest place was the Temple of Saint Sava, the biggest church in the Balkans, they have been building it for years now. I sat down and the most beautiful church bells I have ever heard started ringing, loudly. The sun was burning hot on my scars and I wondered how come it was so hot on October 22nd …and then I realized – October 22nd! That was the day I first met my twin, in 2008! I had completely forgotten about that – 11 years! What a moment. As I opened my eyes recovering from it, I noticed blood stains starting to show up on my pants. I still smelled of burned flesh and I could barely sit since I had stitches on my butt. “Hello Divine Feminine!” I said to myself, “this is your hero’s journey, 11 years, going to hell and back and to hell and back again, for that man, with that man, fighting for your very soul. Almost died a few times Happy anniversary! I see you are having a nice day! Blood and all, but still good” I laughed some more.
I somehow got back home by bus and went straight to bed. My phone rang but I couldn’t answer it. Then shortly my door bell rang and I had to. It was my mother, shaking with fear and distress. “Why are you not answering your phone? What is going on?” Shit, I always forget she can smell trouble. I thought I would go unnoticed and have it all done without her knowing. She felt it, she called, she panicked, she came over. She has no idea about my Twin Flame journey nor about me being a healer, she’s a very down to Earth 3D woman with 8 planets in Virgo.
She sat down and cried until I admitted I had just had minor cosmetic surgery. I explained it was nothing serious and let her put cream on the wounds. She felt good being able to help. But then she broke down and fell on my chest and sobbed, forgetting she wasn’t supposed to touch the painful places on my back. I always get angry when she makes things harder for me and ask her to stop crying when I am going through the worst, but this time for the first time, I saw her pain and her despair. I pressed her head on my chest and I let her cry, holding her close. She wept and I understood she found her baby with thirty bloody holes on her body. I didn’t mention the stitches holding my ass together.
I understood how difficult I am for her. How brave our mothers are, to have us, the curse breakers of the family. I am as strong as my weakest link, and that is her. I need to do my best, for her, if for nobody else. I have to up my game now, I have to be serious, because the big finish line is here. And my mother has been praying for my life for over a decade, she nourished me out of my death bed when it was the worst. It was life or death for a few years of Pluto transit. I became a warrior and alchemist, but I need to win now, for her and for me. I need to heal everything. And it is about to get real.
Are you ready for the fight of your life? It’s going down
If you have ever seen or read Tolkien’s ‘Hobbit’, let me say we are at the point just before the final battle begins. The biggest, baddest battle ever, and everyone is showing up for it, all creatures good and bad, and those in between. The problem is, you have to show up too, as your bad ass hero or heroine avatar self. There is no way out of this one. We are entering the Underworld. Actually, we don’t even have to try, it is opening itself beneath us, everywhere we look now. The good thing is, we have access now, and we can see what’s going on, and we can deal with it. There is no better time to clear out our Hell – the time is now!
Here is who is showing up, astrologically speaking.
Pluto is the Lord of the Underworld, the one who drags us into the dark night of the soul, the one who drags us through hell until we feel like we will die if we don’t mutate into something that is able to survive the pressure. His grip of death is so strong we have to distill and burn and transmute, it is a matter of life and death, transform or rot in a hell hole. It is the last planet on the verge of our solar system, there is no light beyond Pluto. Pluto takes you, crushes you into a dirty mush and makes you alchemize yourself into your power. He is the one who is making you the most powerful alchemist, if you survive. He’s got time, he is in no rush, he is willing to have you sit in the rotten basement until you decide to do something about it. He moves only one degree of the zodiac a year, he’s been in Capricorn for a while now.
However, the planet of time, Saturn (Chronos) doesn’t have time to wait like Pluto does. He is approaching now, fast. It took him about 30 years to go around the zodiac, he has finally arrived to join Pluto now. Here comes the lord of karma, time, structure, order, construction, the Father and the Mature Man of the zodiac. All around the globe, astrologers are alarmed and waiting with baited breath, for the BIGGEST conjunction of our lifetime – the meeting of these two giants, Pluto and Saturn, in January 2020.
Death meets Karma. The End meets the Timekeeper. They’re ready to collapse an entire timeline, an entire era, and release it through the South Node of the Moon, the point of endings, releasing and purging. This is closing time, and in the last couple of weeks we have entered the highway to the big battle at closing time.
We are entering a new era – an age of light
To get the perspective on what kind of a timeline we are talking about, let me say that the last time Pluto Saturn conjunction happened in Capricorn was in the 1500s. Yes, you read that right the last time this conjunction happened was in the Middle Ages, the last century of “The Dark Ages” that covered the period from the 5th to the 16th centuries. It culminated in witch trials and religious persecution that led the Protestants to get on a boat called Mayflower and start a new world we now know as America. Built on plundering and genocide, destruction of the land and the native people, the new world flourished and grew, and attracted anyone who had a dream of a better life, from all over the world. If you are American and reading this, that’s probably how you got there – your ancestors moved there.
Then, in a day or two, comes Mars to join the celestial party that is about to begin and in a bad way, squaring the Saturn Pluto conjunction. Here comes an angry warrior with his sword out and charging ahead, ready to stab and cut you if you don’t let go of the thing that’s rotting in your hands. Metaphorical surgery time.
It sounds like this is the realest Halloween week or even month that we are ever going to have, and we don’t need to put on masks for it, in fact, we need to let go of all the Halloween we have incarnated with.
All the devils and monsters in us, in our twins, in our families, in our collectives, in our nations – they are going to show up now so we can see them. We will see them. But we don’t want to deal do we? We have had enough of this fuckery already, we are tired and we think we deserve better, we deserve to rest and we want to have our paradise and our love story at the beach. Yes, I agree. But we can’t have it before the final battle, we have to rise and fight for it, one last time. We have to collapse all the shit we have taken on before we can enter paradise, because we sure as hell can’t take it with us. It would defile the Holy ground we are entering.
And the shit will sure come to the surface now, lucky us.
Under the new moon in Scorpio on the 27th October, it is easy to lose your mind and your patience and your self-control and just say fuck it, I want to have my way, I want to get drunk like all the normal people do and I want to get laid with whoever, it is a party weekend after all, and I want to date and do whatever I want, fuck this Twin Flame thing, it can go to hell. And you know what, this time it really can, permanently. If there was ever a chance to get off track and mess it all up, it is now. That is why I am writing this:
Don’t mess up now. You can’t see the end of the tunnel now and you won’t see it till March next year.
Buckle up! Invest all you have in your healing, clearing out whatever needs to go, and empowering yourself to deal with these energies like a pro. Better a pro alchemist magician than a rejected one night stand ho with a hangover.
Go deep, if you want to go home to where you belong
The dead will be asking for your attention, your ancestors need help and healing, you are the curse breaker in the family, you are the healer, you are the most powerful force of light that has incarnated in that blood line since the Dark Ages. Which was the last time that the world had female healers, before they were burned at the stake and the rest went in hiding forsaking their healing abilities out of fear to be demonized and branded a witch.
Your past will come up, we are digging deep now, it is Scorpio, remember. All the taboo themes like sexual abuse, rape, obsessions, compulsive behavior, self destruction, depression, death, divorce, murder, suicide – it is all coming back on the table, for you to deal with. Everything you kept sweeping under the rug, will come back with a vengeance now. Past lives where you were the victim, when you were killed, raped, or died a horrible death in some other way, in a war maybe – it is time to heal that.
The next level would be the lives where you were the perpetrator (the bad guy) of some ungodly deed, it is not realistic to expect you were an angel in all your past lives. Personally, I am finally at the point where I feel I am ready to see what I was like in my worst life, in my worst incarnation, when I did the worst things. To ask to be shown, and ask what I can do to atone, to pay the karma and be released from it. I have dealt with the victims I was – rape, murder, suicide. I haven’t dealt with the other side of the coin. There are at least two lives I know of, that I messed up in a big way.
Your twin, if they are Masculine energy, the time of the final collapse of their world is upon us. We have this year and maybe next year to go, it depends on how stubborn they are to hold on to the old collapsing matrix. This goes for the world in general, but the Feminine polarity has risen enough to have the tools and the skills to deal with it. If you as the Feminine are still struggling and don’t know what to do, you need to work fast now.
You need to clear the junk on your side of the fence, and you need to build yourself up spiritually because the Masculine is going to be in exodus mode soon and they are coming with all the rubble of hell they were carrying and they are bringing it to your door. They are not going to be particularly informed either, so they might lash out against you, just from pure trauma and PTSD from what they are going through. It is like a child who is sick with dangerous fever and you are trying to give them medicine but they are kicking and screaming and biting as you approach and you end up with a nosebleed and a knife in your heart.
It is not personal, it is the end of an era of darkness, when the female was burned at the stake and sacrificed to an evil empire posing behind religious dogma and hypocritical social norms. It is time to heal the witch wound, globally and collectively. I have seen you flash your tarot cards and oracle decks, Devine Feminine. I am ringing the bell now, there is no more time for play, we are in a serious game now, and we need serious skills.
We need to know how to heal our ancestors, how to break the curse in our bloodline, how to put an end to all the abusive psycho shit that we took on with our genes – alcoholism, addiction, sexual abuse, incest (emotional and energetic counts), vampirism, victimhood, narcissism…
You get the idea.
It’s time to up your game, girl
We need to know how to collapse timelines of the old matrix, how to go into battle and fight confidently because our guides have our back and we know we are good. We need to know our twins will behave as enemies as they come out of the Underworld and that we can still love them unconditionally without accepting abuse and projections.
I am rather talking about having multidimensional tools, skills and experience. I will use shamanic skills because they cover it all for me. You have a place in the spiritual dimension, built in your inner world, but just as real as this one. You have your power place you go to, your place that supports you and transmutes your energies. Like a pyramid, or a forest, or a temple, it doesn’t matter. You have your power animal, your spirit guide to guide and protect you at all times, their breath on your face, so close. They carry you, you can ride them or fly. They tell you what to do and more importantly, what not to do. They know where your biggest wounds and shadows are and why your energy is leaking and how to fix it. They know how to return your energy to you and heal you, make you whole. They have a larger perspective and they tell you what is going on and why you are going through this from a cosmic viewpoint. They have your highest good at their heart, even when you don’t know what the fuck is going on and how to get yourself out of your Twin Flame mess.
Then you have a place, like an energetic vortex that you can go to in a shamanic journey and empty out the entire dark toxic energy that is overwhelming you so much you can barely walk. It is probably coming from your twin and his lower vibrational dimension, or from your family, or whatever, it doesn’t matter. You go, your power animal takes you, you open the vortex, you transmute the energy and ask to be filled with light and the energy that can heal you now. You get guidance, healing and the tools you need to continue. You get homework too.
“What is the biggest block to my Twin Flame union, and what is the medicine?” you can ask.
You will get the answers, and you do what you need to do, you slowly but consistently chisel away all that needs to go. It’s all just junk, from your past lives, childhood trauma from this life, mommy issues, daddy issues, sex wounds, heart wounds, ancestral grief and dysfunction, the abused land you live on and damaged nature. Yes, it is all your job, my brave Divine Feminine. Because no one else is ready to deal with it except the burned Witch and the raped Whore that has returned, healed, empowered herself and risen to Goddess, the new Boss.
Let your soul sistars help you
I know you can’t do it alone, and that you are tired and weary. I also know you might be bursting at the seams and that pipes of the old sewer are breaking down. Don’t wait till it spills over, the masculine’s awakening will make it double. Find help, get trained, get good.
Work with healers now, then train to be one.
I do shamanic healing, since it covers a lot – past lives, trauma, ancestors, land, collective, nature, love, feelings, energy … it leads to freedom and union with your own soul that is trapped under the illusions of shadows. You have to claim your own soul before you can claim Union with your twin. Shamanism is the fastest track to inner union, wholeness, soul health and Twin Flame Union. But it is not a simple guided audio meditation, it is serious work in a parallel dimension, you need a practitioner, you need a teacher if you want to learn, do not go alone.
Other practices I have tried and find effective are hypnotherapy, past life regression, rebirthing or holotropic breathing (releases trauma effectively), cupping with blood-letting (energetic and lymphatic detox), crystals, essential oils, Kambo (Amazonian frog medicine, fastest detox that involves puking your guts out) and Ayurveda.
Some people use Ayahuasca ceremonies a lot, but it has quickly become the fast food of the spiritual industry, so it should not replace your spiritual practice.
The point here my dear Twin Flame warrior is that your subconscious wounding will be felt now, and it is time for the energetic surgery to happen, just like real surgery. What is rotting inside you has to go now. What is dead needs to be honored and then buried. What do you do with the corpse of your old life, or with your twin’s life? You bury the corpse, you mourn, you move on.
We have until January to do these surgeries and burials. If we keep those things around, we will be in a dangerous game. Jupiter, the biggest planet in our solar system, is also moving towards our Death Party here, he is going into Capricorn at the end of December. Jupiter expands what he finds. If that shit is not under the ground by then, it will just blow up like a volcano all over the place. However, Jupiter is also the Santa Clause of the zodiac, the Guru, the teacher, the one who brings abundance and mercy and blessings and joy, and if we deal well now, Jupiter will bring the best he can bring. Or to be more precise, we will have space to receive.
There is light at the end of the tunnel
Come April, we can have enough space in our energy for the highest, biggest passion and cosmic bliss to flow through us and come to us. Saturn will move on from Pluto next year, but Jupiter will conjunct Pluto three times, forward, retrograde and then forward again. The dates are: April 4 2020, June 30 2020, November 12 2020. That’s the best thing we have coming, Santa comes down to hell to save us. We have to be able to recognize him and not project our shadow on him and kill him thinking he’s the enemy.
Gandalf is on his way gang, but unfortunately, we have to go into the final battle before he arrives, this is our final graduation exam. He’s bringing rewards though. Next year. If you want to enjoy them, you better learn how to get the sludge of hell off of you fast and put some make up on. There will come a day your twin figures it all out, you better look sexy.
Simply put – the time frame for healing is getting shorter now, the time to live our destiny and mission is running out, the old is collapsing and we need to leave all else aside and heal, heal, heal into wholeness and inner union, build those spiritual muscles, become resilient. We have to somehow bring our families along, realizing they can’t keep up and we are sometimes too much. But the work has to be done. Like my birthmarks, they all have to go now. The rewards are coming, next year will be easier but the more we do now, the more space there will be for the good stuff. Plus you will feel lighter and have more energy. There is no need to carry the burdens anymore, the time is up.
Find your team of healers to work with, focus on this now,
everything else can wait or be minimized.
Both Sabriyé and I have a team of healers who help us on our own journey, I have at least ten people I go to for healing when I can’t do something by myself. Sabriyé has the Inner Union Soul Alchemy program, to guide you in the healing and inner union process. She can also help you clear and heal deep subconscious and past life patterns (karma) in the Akashic Record Clearings she offers. I work as a shamanic healer for Twin Flames. You don’t have to do it alone, nor can you really because we all have our own blind spots – the things we DON’T want to see about ourselves.
We have some fifteen months now to get this done (Saturn will move on from Pluto next year, but Jupiter will conjunct Pluto three times, forwards, retrograde and forwards again.).
Let’s make it through to the finish line, together. We got this. The Witch is a mighty healer now.
She’s Gandalf in a woman’s body. Shhh! Go!
Your brave heart, consistent work and a sense of humor are your best friends now.
You won’t have much help but you will have enough for the next step. Take it. Now.
Love you, you can do it! The Witch Doctor has returned.
Twin Flame astrologer and shamanic healer at Twin Flame Toolbox
If you would like to work with me, please feel free to write to Twin Flame Toolbox on Facebook or email me at firstname.lastname@example.org
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